Transformers: Robots in Disguise
“Secret of the Ruins” – Episode 6
Written by Tom Wyner
Transcription by Brandon Williams

–
[Cut from the beginning of “Battle Protocol!” where Megatron first transforms.]

Megatron: Megatron, terrorize! I know those blasted Autobots are nearby. I can feel them hiding amongst the trucks and buses of this pathetic little mothball called Earth. Come forth, my Predacons. Flush out the cowardly Autobots.

[The Predacons attack.]

Gas Skunk: Skunk Attack! Oops, I forgot. I’m not a real skunk, I’m a Predacon. All right, then. Gas Skunk Attack!

Dorie Dutton: This is Dorie Dutton reporting live from the scene of the last Predacon sighting. According to eyewitnesses, Predacons have been searching the streets for any sign of the Autobots.

Optimus: Well since they’ve gone through all that trouble, I’d hate to disappoint them. T-AI, who’s currently available?

T-AI: Checking now, Optimus. Member select program! The Autobot Brothers are on standby patrol in the southwestern region. I’ll try to contact them right away. Prowl, we have a situation here.

Prowl: We have a situation of our own.

T-AI: What exactly do you mean?

Prowl: We haven’t heard from Sideburn all day. He’s not answering on his normal frequency.

X-Brawn: He took Koji to explore some old Indian ruins before checking to make sure they’re okay. What’s up on your end?

T-AI: We’ve got Predacon trouble in Metro City again.

Prowl: Team Bullet Train is a lot closer to the city than we are. Let us know if they need any help. Meanwhile, we’re gonna look for Sideburn and Koji. Let’s go, X-Brawn.

Optimus: Good luck, Prowl. Let us know when you find them. T-AI, get us the location of the Bullet Trains.

T-AI: Okay. Prowl is right. They’re scheduled to arrive at a downtown station in a few minutes. Railspike, we need Team Bullet Train for patrol duty ASAP. Predacons have been sighted in the mid-town area!

Railspike: Got that, T-AI. All three of us will be arriving at the main station in about sixty seconds.

T-AI: Rapid Run, did you copy that transmission?

Rapid Run: Gotcha, T-AI. But yo, Railspike, a whole minute to get there? You better grease your wheels. I bet you I can beat you there by thirty seconds.

Railspike: In your dreams, pal. How about you, Midnight? What’s your ETA?

Midnight Express: Estimated time of arrival at the Metro City main depot in approximately 42.3 seconds.

Railspike: Meet you at the station, guys. Let’s roll.

Trains: On track!

Railspike: This is an Autobot emergency. Please move back from the boarding area. Bullet Trains are currently unavailable.

Rapid Run: Sorry to delay your commute home, folks.

Midnight: Please be patient. There’ll be another train arriving in ten minutes. Midnight Express, transform!

Rapid Run: Rapid Run, transform!

Railspike: Railspike, transform!

Midnight: Excuse me. Coming through! My apologies, I’m just trying to do my job. It is somewhat of an emergency. I’ll be out of your way in a second.

Guy: You wanna see an emergency? Wait till you see what happens to me if I’m late getting home!

Midnight: Hey, that was a nice paintjob. Sorry! ‘Cuse me!

Railspike: Hey Midnight, the Predacons are in the other direction. You’re going the wrong way.

Midnight Express: Goodness, I’m all turned around! My apologies. Lead the way.

Railspike: Why didn’t I think of that? C’mon.

Midnight: I’m right behind you.

[Transition]

Dark Scream: This is starting to get good. We couldn’t miss those guys if we tried.

Slapper: Gas Skunk, smoke ’em with your acid breath. They can’t see us, they can’t fight back.

Gas Skunk: When I get through with those guys, they’ll be lucky to find their way back to the train station. In a few seconds they won’t be able to see anything.

Railspike: What the?

Rapid Run: It’s an ambush!

Slapper: What’s a matter, Railspike? Skunk got your tongue?

Railspike: Here, have a taste of your own medicine! Perfecto Mines, lock on.

Rapid Run: Yo Railspike, I do believe your aiming mechanism is getting a little rusty. Those mines are going in the wrong direction.

Railspike: You rookies are so impatient. Keep watching, you might learn something.

Slapper: Shut it off, Gas Skunk!

Gas Skunk: I can’t till I run out of gas!

Dark Scream: Bad breath is one thing, but this is ridiculous! Go breathe on somebody else before we’re barbecued!

Railspike: You see!

Rapid Run: Gotta hand it to you, old timer. That was a pretty slick move.

[Transition]

Optimus: Something about this doesn’t smell right.

T-AI: You mean Gas Skunk’s breath? It is pretty terrible.

Optimus: No. Something’s wrong.

T-AI: But our guys won. They defeated them easily.

Optimus: Perhaps too easily. What was their target? Usually they try to steal energy and convert it to energon cubes, but not this time. So what was their real motive?

T-AI: Good point. They could be up to something we don’t know about and use this as a diversion.

Optimus: Exactly, T-AI. But what?

[Transition]

Sky-Byte: Ah, yes. While those foolish Autobots are being distracted by the other Predacons, I’ll be able to find what we’re really after.

[Commercial]

Sky-Byte: What I’m looking for is hidden in a secret chamber within some old ruins which should be in this immediate vicinity. But I’ve seen nothing around here except lizards, sand and rocks. Hmmmm? Aha. Unless I miss my guess, that doorway is the entrance to the ruins and that means that the rest of Dr. Onishi’s instructions must undoubtably be correct.

Megatron (flashback): Dr. Onishi has secret information which could make me the most powerful being in the universe. I must extract this information.

Sky-Byte (flashback): Yes, if this information actually exists. Are you sure that he’s telling you the truth?

Megatron (flashback): He didn’t tell me anything. I projected his thoughts with the psycho-probe!

Sky-Byte (flashback): At 90,000 volts per probe, he won’t last very long.

Megatron (flashback): What a pity… I don’t care, you fool! With this information, I could rule the universe! Understand?

Sky-Byte (flashback): Yes, I’m sure you’re right as always.

Megatron (flashback): Good. To find where it’s hidden, we must increase the power of the probe. Transpose his brain impulses into on-screen imagery.

Sky-Byte (flashback): Then, no matter how hard he resists, we’ll know where to look for it.

Megatron (flashback): Precisely. Only the images that are most important to the good doctor will appear on the scanning screen, so one of them’s bound to show us the secret location of the information that he’s trying to hide from us. Now, doctor, your inner-most secrets will be exposed. Psycho-probe, increase power!

Dr. Onishi (flashback): Gotta resist…

Megatron (flashback): He’s still fighting us. These are merely surface images. They’re meaningless! He’s stronger than I thought. Very well. Psycho-probe, increase power!

Dr. Onishi (flashback): Ruins… secret chamber…

Sky-Byte (flashback): An isolated region like that would be a perfect hiding place.

Megatron (flashback): Search those ruins immediately. Go! Now!

Sky-Byte (flashback): At once. And when I return, the doctor’s secret will be ours.

Sky-Byte: Thanks to Megatron’s diversion, I’ll have plenty of time to find the secret chamber and whatever it contains. And if I succeed in bringing Megatron the key to universal supremecy, our voyage to this planet would have been worthwhile. Huh? No, it couldn’t be! It is! It’s that Autobot Sideburn!

Sideburn: Why’d you want to come all the way out here? It’s in the middle of nowhere. I’ll bet you there isn’t a cherry red sportscar within a hundred miles of this place, Koji.

Koji: Hey, sorry about that, Sideburn. We’re going to the old Pyuma ruins. Shouldn’t take long now.

Sideburn: Pie humour, my favourite! There’s nothing funnier than a pie in the face, right?!

Koji: No, Pyuma’s the name of a tribe. They were Native Americans who lived here hundreds of years ago. They mysteriously disappeared around the time that Columbus discovered the new world.

Sideburn: But if they disappeared, then how does anybody know who lived there?

Koji: My dad was the one who figured it out. He knows more about them than anyone.

Sideburn: Hmmm… Sounds kinda interesting. All right then, let’s go have a look.

Sky-Byte: Where are the other Autobots? Did they figure out what we’re up to or is this merely a coincidence? It doesn’t matter, either way I’ll have to get rid of them to complete my mission. This is the end of the road for Sideburn!

[Transition]

Dark Scream: Megatron wants us to keep these guys busy for as long as possible.

Slapper: Let’s use the tri-laser attack. Come on, guys! Slapper, terrorize! Hahahaha!

Gas Skunk: Gas Skunk, terrorize!

Dark Scream: Dark Scream, terrorize! Argh! Center laser!

Slapper: Right laser!

Gas Skunk: Left laser!

Rapid Run: Deflector Shield!

Slapper: Watch what you’re doing, Gas Skunk. Your laser almost fried me!

Gas Skunk: Oh yeah, your laser hit me so hard I thought my gas nozzle was going to fall off.

Dark Scream: Frozen by my own freeze beam. How embarrassing!

Railspike: Team Bullet Train wins again! Way to go, Rapid Run.

Rapid Run: What do you say we kick these guys outta town?

Midnight: Absolutely.

Megatron: So my plan seems to have worked… At least three of the Autobots have been kept occupied into the city. But where’s Optimus Prime? Why isn’t he here?!

[Transition]

Optimus: We have to figure out what Megatron’s real plan is. And fast.

T-AI: If they are trying to distract us from whatever they’re really up to, would who Megatron use for a secret mission?

Optimus: Hmmm… Good question, T-AI. Sky-Byte would be the logical choice. He’s ruthless and very clever.

T-AI: You are right. I’ll log onto the global Autobot net. Maybe one of our guys has seen him.

[Transition]

Koji: This is it, the Pyuma ruins! You might have trouble driving in there. It’s a real labyrinth, a maze of tunnels with hairpin turns.

Sideburn: No sweat. How did your father ever discover this place?

Koji: It’s his job, Sideburn. That’s what archeologists have to do.

Sideburn: Sounds like interesting work, that is if you can’t be an Autobot.

Sky-Byte: Sounds like the Autobot and the human are the only ones who know about this place. Once I’ve gotten rid of them there’ll be nobody here to stop me.

[Commercial]

Koji: First we have to find the secret entrance to the inner chambers. There it is.

Sideburn: What’s the hole for?

Koji: It’s kind of like a keyhole, but the key is over there. You put this thing in here. The really interesting part is inside.

Sideburn: Haha, you seem to know an awful lot about this place.

Koji: Yeah, I used to come here every summer… with my dad.

Sideburn: You explored it together?

Koji: Yup. I haven’t been here in a long time, but I used to know almost every inch of this place.

Sky-Byte: That tunnel bearing will soon become a trap from which they will never escape. My Shark missiles will get rid of those two once and for all.

Sideburn: Wait, Koji.

Koji: Hey, what’s the matter? What is it, Sideburn?

Sideburn: I think we’ve got company. If that sound is what I think it is, we gotta get out of here. Climb aboard. Buckle up, Koji. And hold on.

Koji: Gotcha.

Kelly: These ruins are absolutely fascinating! And it’s so quiet and peaceful, it’s just what the doctor said I needed to get over my irrational fear of being chased by talking cars. Huh?! I could’ve sworn I just heard a car… Oh, there I go again imagining things. What would a car be doing down here in these ancient Indian ruins?

Sideburn: ‘Cuse me!

Kelly: It’s the talking car. And guided missiles. But they didn’t talk!

Sideburn: You’re right! This place is a maze!

Koji: The Pyumas built it that way to confuse intruders.

Sideburn: Well those missiles don’t look confused!

Koji: Aaaahh!

Sideburn: Phew, that was a close one. Mayday! I repeat, this is a mayday.

Koji: We’re under fifty feet of solid rock. It won’t go through from down here.

[Transition]

Railspike: Incoming!

Rapid Run: You guys never learn!

Midnight: Hey, it’s never too late to teach a new skunk new tricks. See you, wouldn’t want to be you!

Rapid Run: Major hook up, Midnight. Nice shooting.

Megatron: I see that I’m going to have to take care of you Bullet Train buffoons myself.

Predacons: Help us, Megatron!

Megatron: You three should’ve been brought back into the gene pool, now out of my way!

Preds: No problem!

Megatron: Now, Autobots… Let’s see how you do against a real opponent. You’ll soon discover that all of your powers combined won’t be enough to defeat me.

Rapid Run: Do you talk this much all the time, or only when you’ve got two mouths?

Megatron: Actually, my two mouths have a much more useful purpose.

Midnight: Shall we fuse, gentlemen?

Railspike: Not yet. We’ve got to wait for the right moment.

[Transition]

Optimus: Not one Autobot has reported seeing Sky-Byte anywhere on Earth.

T-AI: Optimus, look! That’s a mayday signal on Koji’s frequency. He’s down at those ruins with Sideburn.

Optimus: If I use the global space bridge, I can be there in a few minutes.

Sky-Byte: Now that those two troublemakers are out of the way I can finish my mission. According to the information we stole from Dr. Onishi’s mind, the secret chamber should be hidden behind a wall inscribed “the hyogrid,” matching the one I’m projecting right now. That’s it! Shark Spike! Aha, that receptacle on top of the stairway must be where the information is hidden. Once we learn the secrets it contains, the Predacons will be the most powerful beings in the universe! Hahahaha, and will have more power than I could have ever possibly imagined, second only to Megatron!

Optimus: I don’t think so. Flying Fist! Target signature, Sky-Byte. Fire!

Sky-Byte: I don’t understand. How did you know I was here?

Koji: I called him, Sky-Byte. Right after we got out of that tunnel. My dad showed me all the secret passage ways the Pyumas used for emergencies.

Optimus: Sky-Byte, you were sent here for something, but what? These ruins hold no interest for Predacons. What is Megatron after?

Sky-Byte: My orders were quite clear. Now out of my way! I always knew I was good, I just never realized how good. Megatron, I’ve got the container from the chamber, and thus the secret information!

[Transition]

Megatron: My plan worked perectly. My job is done. Lucky for the three of you, I have urgent business elsewhere. However, I would like to add just one final footnote!

Railspike: Rail Racer, transform!

Rail Racer: Rail Racer, fusion completed!

Megatron: What’s this?

Rail Racer: The name’s Rail Racer. Round and around he goes, and where he stops, nobody knows!

Megatron: Where are you?

Rail Racer: Right over here!

Megatron: What a shame. I have to leave now. We’ll finish this some other time.

Slapper: We thought you wanted us to whomp those guys.

Megatron: Only as a diversionary tactic to obscure the actual objective.

Gas Skunk: Got any idea what he’s talking about? I don’t.

Megatron: Return to base, unless you want to go on fighting.

[The Preds quickly decide to leave.]

Rail Racer: Rail Racer’s back on track!

[Transition]

Sky-Byte: I’ve stolen it. Now I just have to deliver it to Megatron.

X-Brawn: Howdy Sky-Byte.

Prowl: Pull over. That’s stolen property. Your delivery to Megatron has just been cancelled.

Sideburn: Sideburn, transform!

X-Brawn: X-Brawn, transform!

Prowl: Prowl, transform!

Sky-Byte: It’s not stolen, I found it!

Sideburn: Ready?

X-Brawn: Whenever you are.

Prowl: Last warning, Sky-Byte.

Sky-Byte: This box is going with me! Aaaahh! Oh well, wrong again!

Koji: Oh! Optimus, the box!

Optimus: Got it!

[Commercial]

Optimus: So Megatron tried to lure us into the city, while Sky-Byte was carrying out his mission here.

X-Brawn: Looks like we got plum lucky, Optimus. If Koji and Sideburn hadn’t have been out here…

Sideburn: They would’ve gotten away with it!

Optimus: What I don’t understand is what you two were doing out here.

Koji: My dad and I used to explore these old ruins together.

Dr. Onishi (flashback): We humans think we know everything. But the Earth still holds many secrets that will be revealed only to those who are willing to search for them.

Koji (flashback): I wanna do that, Dad. I wanna be an archeologist, just like you.

Dr. Onishi (flashback): Thanks, son. Those words are one of greatest gifts you could’ve given me.

Koji: But… how did the Predacons find out about this place? And how did Sky-Byte know how to find the secret chamber?

Optimus: Somehow they must’ve gotten that information from your father. But what exactly were they after?

X-Brawn: Whatever’s inside that box must be pretty important. Go ahead, Koji. Open it up and lets have a look.

Sideburn: What is it, Koji?

Koji: It’s a photo of me and my dad from the last time we were here.

X-Brawn: That’s it? Nothing else?

Optimus: Hmmm… A photo like that has great sentimental value, but why would your father leave it in a place that it would be so difficult to find?

Koji: Hey!

X-Brawn: Well I’ll be switched, there was something hidden in the frame.

Koji: I’ve never seen this before. It looks like it’s part of a computer.

Optimus: You’re right. It’s a microchip. So that’s what Megaron was after.

Koji: My dad must’ve wanted to keep this a secret. The question is… Why?

[End]

Transformers: Robots in Disguise
“The Hunt for the Black Pyramid” – Episode 5
Written by Marc Handler
Transcription by Brandon Williams

–
Megatron: Foolish humans, it’s been right under their noses since we arrived, but they’ve only just discovered it. Even now they don’t realize the Black Pyramid is a matrix chamber for generating power. Once we activate the pyramid, it will amplify all of our power, making us invincible! But first, we’ll need some juice.

Gas Skunk: This is great. These deep sea power lines will provide all the extra energy we need to activate the pyramid.

Slapper: Yeah, if those Autobots don’t get in our way again. Those vehicles really turn my crank shaft.

Gas Skunk: Slapper, we’re miles and miles under the ocean, the Autobots will never know we’re here, so lighten up and relax.

Slapper: Don’t tell me to relax. I hate to relax! I wanna blow the lid off. I want a power surge! Black Pyramid bursting with hyper power, we unleash it, it’s gonna be party time! No one will be able to stop us from sucking up every ounce of energy on this planet. Then, the Predacons will reign supreme! Hahaha!

[Transition]

Koji: Whoa, my first time on a ship! Is it always like this, doc? I feel like the king of the ocean! It’s so exciting. Are we really going to see the Black Pyramid?

Dr. Akashi: First we must reach our destination. Then we’ll attempt to view it with a submersion maneuver that’s never been tried before.

Koji: But how can this ship go under water? It’s not a submarine.

Dr. Akashi: Don’t worry, Koji. The horn’s just announcing we’re reached the target zone incase there any another ships in the area, but that’s very unlikely.

Koji: Yeah, you’re right. Who else would be way out here?

Dark Scream: Our scanner’s picking up a ship. What should we do about it? It could be a big problem.

Sky-Byte: Who cares about some puny humans? If they get in our way, I’ll simply crush them. A lightning shark attack will do it.

Dark Scream: Nobody asked you, Sky-Byte.

Megatron: That ship could draw attention to this location, which could bring the Autobots.

Sky-Byte: Then I’ll take the ship out.

Megatron: Do it.

Sky-Byte: Dark Scream, you come with me. I’ll need backup.

Dark Scream: Whatever, you pathetic little guppy.

Sky-Byte: What did you just say?

Dark Scream: Nothing, I said I wish I… had a puppy!

Sky-Byte: Yes, that’s what I thought.

Dark Scream: Just you wait, when I’m ready I’ll take you apart cylinder by cylinder.

Sky-Byte: You couldn’t take a toy apart! Now watch your mouth or I’ll use you as shark bait.

Dark Scream: How does he hear so well?!

Gas Skunk: Energy, energy galore! Just one more giga-cycle and we’ll have enough.

Slapper: All right!

Gas Skunk: Well that put you in a real jolly mood, didn’t it?

Slapper: Megatron likes a job well done. He’s gonna be very pleased with me!

Gas Skunk: If Sky-Byte doesn’t take the credit.

Slapper: Hey slimeball!

[Transition]

Dr. Akashi: This is a new submersion technology. I’m counting on your expertise, captain.

Captain: We’ll do our best.

Koji: Wow.

Dr. Akashi: Buckle up nice and tight now. We’re about to go under.

Koji: I still don’t see how a big ship like this can go underwater, Dr. Akashi.

Dr. Akashi: Just watch.

Koji: Hey, we’re tilting!

Dr. Akashi: Yes, we’re adapting a vertical orientation.

Koji: Whoa.

Dr. Akashi: This control room goes underwater and detaches from the ship. It’s designed to function as an observation unit.

Koji: So will we get to see the Black Pyramid?

Dr. Akashi: First we observe it from a distance. It was just discovered by satellite, so we don’t know much about it. We must be very cautious.

Koji: Oh wow, just look at all those fish!

Dr. Akashi: You like that, huh?

Koji: Yeah.

Dr. Akashi: The Black Pyramid should be in this sector. Let me see if we can pinpoint it with our sonar tractor.

Koji: Hey, why are those fish swimming away?

Dr. Akashi: Something’s got them scared!

Koji: Hey, it’s a Predacon!

Captain: Oh, we’ve been hit! What’s the damage?

Crew Member #1: I can’t get a reading!

Crew Member #2: Whatever that thing is, it’s jamming up all of our instruments!

Captain: Cancel maneuver. Bring the observation unit back at once!

Crew Member #2: I can’t, sir, it’s not responding!

Captain: Bridge to observation unit… Doctor, can you hear me? Come in. Come in!

Dark Scream: Nice try, Sky-Byte. Stealing my thunder. You can forget that!

Crew Member #1: It’s a robot squirrel or hampster or something!

Captain: It’s a Predacon!

Dr. Akashi: Observation unit to bridge… Anyone there? Captain? Captain? Nothing, the line’s dead. We better switch to manual control. You watch the gauges, I’ll take us back up. It’s not engaging. I’d better go to the machine room and run a full diagnostic. You take the controls and tell me if it comes back online.

Koji: Right. Whoa, look out! We’re hit! Dr. Akashi! I’ve got an emergency situation! Koji to Optimus Prime, this is a distress call! Emergency… repeat, emergency!

Fireman: Beautiful. Now how about a little wax job? Of course that would require some wax.

Koji: We’re under attack by Predacons! The ship is half underwater and the systems are all down… We need your help!

Fireman: Huh?!

Optimus: We’ll get there as fast as we can, Koji! We just traced your signal to an offshore area, west of Zuma Point.

Koji: You got it. That’s where I’m at.

Optimus: Are you okay?

Koji: We’re cut off from the ship. We were searching for the Black Pyramid.

Optimus: The Black Pyramid, that’s probably why the Predacons showed up.

Koji: Yeah, that’s exactly what I was thinking.

Optimus: Hang in there, Koji. We’re on our way.

Fireman: Why does this keep happening?! I need a new assignment.

Optimus: T-AI, requesting status on the area east of Zuma Point.

T-AI: No problem. That’s where they found the Black Pyramid, plus there are some undersea cables in the vicinity.

Optimus: I know which cables you mean. They’re a perfect power source for Predacons. T-AI, setup the global space bridge. Bring it as close as possible to that energy axis. I’m counting on you.

T-AI: All right, no problem! Global space bridge is ready.

Optimus: Fighting underwater won’t be easy. We’ll need the Autobot brothers for this. Activate battle protocol!

T-AI: Affirmitive. Autobot Brothers, lets go to work. Sideburn…

Sideburn: Yo, what’s up with this? I see this cute convertible waving her windshield wipers at me, but when I pop-a-wheelie to check her out, zoom, she’s outta here.

T-AI: This is a Code Alpha emergency activation.

Sideburn: You talkin’ to me?

T-AI: Please activate Code Alpha protocols.

Sideburn: You wanna try that in English? You’re kinda cutting in on my action at the moment.

T-AI: Don’t you ever follow procedures, Sideburn?

Sideburn: To tell you the truth, only when I have to. Can I get back to you after I check out that ride? She was candy apple red!

T-AI: You’ve got a discipline problem. Now hit the global space bridge, pal, or you’re gonna be left behind.

Sideburn: What are you talking about? No one’s gonna leave me behind!

T-AI: X-Brawn, come in.

X-Brawn: Aw come on. Get with it! You guys call that catching air?

T-AI: X-Brawn, Code Alpha. Head for the global space bridge.

X-Brawn: Copy that. I’m movin’ out. Of course I can catch one jump along the way!

Motocross Guy: Hey! This is for Motocross!

X-Brawn: Just showin’ ya’ll how it’s done!

T-AI: Next contact, Prowl. Meet your brothers at the space bridge. Urgent, please confirm.

Prowl: Confirmation, Code Alpha. Siren on. Initiating police protocol.

Optimus: Everyone present and accounted for?

Sideburn: I’m here. That’s the important thing.

Prowl: Sideburn, according to my radar, you are exceeding the speed limit.

Sideburn: Loosen up, bro. It’s an emergency.

Prowl: That’s no excuse to violate municipal traffic codes.

Sideburn: Whatever…

X-Brawn: Incase you haven’t noticed, we’re not submarines. How are we gonna get out to that ship?

Optimus: It’s not going to be easy, that’s for sure. The global space bridge won’t stretch that far.

X-Brawn: Great. Now you’ve got me as worried as a steer in a steakhouse!

Sideburn: Dude, where do you come up with this stuff?

Optimus: According to my data, if we extend the global space bridge as far as possible, we just might be able to jump the rest of the way. It’s risky, but it’s our only chance.

X-Brawn: Hope ya’ll brought your swimming trunks!

[Transition]

Dark Scream: Sure, I have to wreck the ship, but who gets the credit? Sky-Byte, while I do all the hard work!

Optimus: We’re ready. Extend the space bridge to maximum reach and activate.

T-AI: Roger, Optimus. Global space bridge is materialized and activated. No problem. Maximum reach has been attained. That’s as far as it’ll go.

X-Brawn: That’s a long way to jump. Who’s going first?

Sideburn: The hottest Autobot on the lot! Me, of course! That is if Prowl doesn’t give me a ticket for speeding.

X-Brawn: Ease up, Sideburn. I’m sure Prowl isn’t gonna stop you. Right, bud?

Prowl: I suppose it’s all right. Increased speeds are permissible under controlled circumstances.

Sideburn: Gee, thanks. Now step aside and watch how a pro does it. This race boy’s about to fly!

Prowl: I hope he can handle this. He’s a bit of a hothead.

X-Brawn: He may be a hothead, but the kid is gutsy.

Sideburn: Whoa, what was I thinking?! I’m too young to rust! Someone else go.

X-Brawn: Then again, maybe he’s not so gutsy.

Prowl: This requires someone with law enforcement training. Police cars have discipline. Something you lack, Sideburn.

Sideburn: They do have boosters. That does help, you know.

Prowl: Vehicle mode! High speed police chase, protocols activate!

Sideburn: He’s flyin’. Go, bro!

Kelly: Blue skies and peaceful sea. It took months to arrange this trip but at last I can relax and enjoy it. Gee, some of those seaguls are really big. Strange seagul. Kind of looks like… a police car falling from the sky!

Prowl: Look out!

Kelly: I’m going to pretend that didn’t happen!

X-Brawn: It’s too far. Prowl couldn’t make it.

Sideburn: He’s okay, right? I mean, he can swim?

Optimus: Yes, but we’ll need to adjust the angle for my jump.

Sideburn: You’re going to try?

Optimus: I’m going to succeed. Koji needs us. T-AI, increase angle by twenty.

T-AI: Copy that.

Sideburn: He’s outstanding. He always keeps a cool head.

X-Brawn: We’re gonna have to swim to the ship. The sooner we move out the sooner we get there. Vehicle mode! Four-wheel leap! C’mon, Sideburn. Let’s hit it!

Sideburn: You’re always telling me not to jump into things.

X-Brawn: Aw, shut your yappin’ and start paddling.

Sideburn: Do this, do that, just because I’m the youngest.

Optimus: T-AI, bring the space bridge into position. I only have one chance to do this right.

T-AI: Understood. The co-ordinates are locked in.

Optimus: Vehicle mode! Full throttle leap!

Kelly: Police cars don’t fall from the sky, obviously! Ha, ha! So I just imagined it, that’s all! Uhhh… This is not happening. There is no way this is happening!

Optimus: Optimus Prime, transform! Just a little more momentum!

Dark Scream: I hope I’m not seeing what I think I’m seeing, but I am seeing what I think I’m seeing. It’s him! I didn’t know Optimus Prime could fly! I always get kicked around.

Optimus: One Predacon down. My sensors are picking up another approaching.

Sky-Byte: Welcome, Optimus Prime, to my ocean.

Optimus: This ocean belongs to the Earth!

Sky-Byte: Yes, and the Earth belongs to us, the Predacons! You might say I have the home team advantage.

Optimus: And when did the home team start attacking peaceful scientists on research missions?

Sky-Byte: I don’t care about boring, mundane science. I much prefer eloquent poetry. Would you like to hear my latest work? I wrote it in honour of the ancient seafaring muses.

“The cobalt ocean roils
Zephyrs blow cold
And another hapless foe is crushed beneath my heel.”

It’s a vision of the future, the very near future.
Optimus: You might do better with limericks.

Sky-Byte: Huh?
Optimus: Your imagery is derivative. It lacks semiotic cohesion. And the hapless foe is you! I guess you poets find it difficult to accept criticism of your work.

Sky-Byte: My next poem will be your eulogy, as you rust away in a watery grave. Then we’ll see whose poetry lacks semiotic cohesion! Ha, ha, ha, ha! Terrorize!

Optimus: I can’t let him beat me…

Koji: Ah, Optimus is in danger!

Optimus: Torpedoes.

Megatron: Prime’s going to ruin the whole operation! Gas Skunk, Slapper, you have the energy? We need to activate the Black Pyramid.

Gas Skunk: We’re working on it, but there’s Autobots attacking us.

Megatron: That’s nothing! Once we get Optimus under the water, he’ll never come back up.

T-AI: Dispatch centre to Koji. Come in, Koji. T-AI here. Do you copy?

Koji: I copy. Koji here. I’m really worried.

T-AI: Understood. Please give me a field report.

Koji: Sky-Byte’s got Optimus under the water and it’s really hard for him to fight down there.

T-AI: What about the ship? Is it functioning?

Koji: Everything’s still jammed up. I can move the controls, but I can’t get the system to respond. All I’m getting is error messages.

T-AI: Maybe I can check it. I’ll see if my remote functions can penetrate the ship’s network.

Optimus: Lightning Lasers!

T-AI: Pulse scan has identified damaged sectors. X-Brawn, I’m going to need your assistance. I’ll give you the data you need to carry out the system repairs. There are two damaged connectors at these co-ordinates. I’ll upload the repair procedures now. Sideburn, you and Prowl help Optimus Prime. And be careful, Sky-Byte’s an expert at underwater warfare.

Sideburn: All right, looks like you’re the handyman on this mission. Guess we better part ways.

X-Brawn: Yeah, time to strap on my tool belt. See ya later, little brother.

Kelly: They say your mind can play tricks on you out in the ocean. I’m sure that’s all it was. Anyway, that’s all over now, so I can just relax and fish. Nothing to worry about.

X-Brawn: Excuse us, ma’am. Just passin’ through.

Kelly: Errghh! It’s not happening, it’s not happening, it’s not happening, I’m going to sleep.

T-AI: Update, X-Brawn’s going down to do the repairs. You’ll need to man the controls, Koji, so he can man the connections.

Koji: Mmmhmm. Standing by.

Optimus: I have to keep him distracted. As long as he’s targetting me the ship is safe.
Sky-Byte: This is my domain, Optimus. Once you’re in shark infested waters, you’re finished.

Koji: No! No, Optimus! You’ve gotta get back up and fight!

X-Brawn: All right, let’s get this show on the road. X-Brawn, transform!

Sideburn: Stay away from my brother. Target torpedo blast!

Koji: We can’t last much longer.

X-Brawn: This is a delicate operation. One wrong connection and the ship could sink. Hang on, Optimus. I’m working as fast as I can.

T-AI: Is there any response from the controls, Koji?

Koji: The light’s on! Cool! Optimus Prime, you have to fight back.

Sky-Byte: Nothing can beat a shark in the open ocean! I’m completely invincible! I’ve got you right where I want you, Optimus. You don’t know how to fight down here, Optimus. I’m the master of underwater combat! Let’s try the drill! Ha, ha, ha! What do you think, would I make drill sergeant?

T-AI: Optimus! Optimus!

X-Brawn: Repair’s complete, but it needs a push.

Prowl: One push coming up!

X-Brawn: Prepare for impact!

Prowl: Got it!

Optimus: Playtime’s over.

T-AI: The ship is returning to horizontal orientation.

Sky-Byte: Sky-Byte, terrorize! You got a lucky break. Hark, by land or sea, thou shall parrish!

Optimus: Didn’t I tell you to stick with limericks? I withstood your shark attack, now you try my fist of steel!

Megatron: It’s too late to activate the Black Pyramid! Destroy it so the Autobots can’t get to it! Set course for the surface. Hurry!

Optimus: You fixed the ship just in time, X-Brawn.

X-Brawn: Well, I got some heads up help from Prowl.

Prowl: All in the line of duty.

Koji: You guys beat the Predacons!

Optimus: For now, but they’ll be back, Koji.

Koji: Yeah, you’re right. Do you think you’ll ever be able to find my father? I worry about him every day. I want to bring him home.

Optimus: We won’t rest until we’ve found him.

T-AI: I’m picking up more Predacon activity. They’re scanning turbo generators, apparently looking for more energy to steal. Shall I continue to track their movements?

Optimus: Yes. Form up, Autobots. It looks like we’ve got a lot more work to do.

Koji: And I’ll be there right with you, Optimus.

T-AI: New data coming in. Predacon activity at the following co-ordinates: Beta 9, G 11…

[End]

Transformers: Robots in Disguise
“Spychangers to the Rescue” – Episode 4
Written by Richard Epcar
Transcription by Brandon Williams

–
Dark Scream: Hurry up you guys. We don’t wanna get spotted.

Gas Skunk: The plutonium energy generator is somewhere in that building. It should be a piece of cake to steal, right?

Slapper: Yeah, let’s just get in and get out. We’ve gotta make sure we don’t mess up this time. When Megatron gets upset he gets ugly.

Dark Scream: Are we gonna do this or sit around talking all night?

Slapper: Let’s go. It looks like the coast is clear.

Gas Skunk: Optimus Prime is here.

Optimus: I knew you Predacons couldn’t resist the plutonium energy generator, but if you want it, you’re gonna have to go through me first.

Dark Scream: Yeah, you and what army?

Optimus: Autobots, transform! I suggest you three leave. Now.

Slapper: These guys are a real pain.

X-Brawn: Transform!

Sideburn: Ready to rock!

Prowl: Right with ya.

Slapper: So much for getting in and getting out. Slapper, terrorize!

Gas Skunk: You’re going down!

Dark Scream: And we’re just the guys to do it.

Slapper: Right laser!

Dark Scream: Center laser!

Gas Skunk: Left laser!

X-Brawn: Deplume!

Prowl: Deflect!

Sideburn: HA!

Optimus: Blaze Blaster! Sideburn, our job is to defend the building, not attack.

Sidebury: Sorry Optimus.

Optimus: That’s all right. One wrong blast at that plutonium energy generator and this whole place could explode.

Sideburn: What?! Don’t you think you could have told me about that before? I’m standing right infront of the building!

Slapper: What’s with these guys, are they going to talk or are they going to fight?

Dark Scream: Hey fellas, now would be a good time to regroup.

Gas Skunk: Dark Scream’s right. We better get outta here.

Sideburn: Chickens!

Optimus: Sideburn! Hold it. Don’t go after them. Let them go.

Sideburn: Ah, don’t worry, Optimus. I wasn’t going after them. I saw a hot little red sportscar on the way over here and I just wanted to see if she’s still there. Catch ya on the flip flop.

Optimus: You know, sometimes that Autobot worries me.

X-Brawn: Don’t I know it, but I think he’ll be all right.

[Transition]

Koji’s Friend: Hurry up, Koji! C’mon!

Koji: Hi, sorry I’m late.

Friend: Don’t worry, it’s all right.

Koji: Should we get going?

Friend’s Dad: I think that’s a good idea.

Friend: Hey, do you remember that time we rode our bikes at that construction site? Dad, can we go there?

Dad: Yup. There. Nice and secure. All right boys, let’s get get going. By the way, Koji, any news on your dad?

Koji: Not yet.

Friend: Don’t worry, Koji. He’ll come back.

Dad: I’m sure this must be hard for you, Koji. Come on boys, we’ve got a big day planned. Let’s get on the road.

Friend: I remember last time we raced you beat me but today I’m gonna whoop you.

Koji: Ha.

Worker: All right, men. Let’s get this energy generator loaded up. And remember, you break it, you bought it. Okay, let’s move it out.

Sideburn: Man, I tell ya… I can think of about a zillion things I’d rather be doing right now.

Prowl: Well forget it! Our assignment is to protect that generator.

Optimus: Come in, X-Brawn. Have you mapped out your route yet?

X-Brawn: Yes I have, Optimus. Here we’ll head southbound on Osaka Blvd.

Optimus: Just watch your backs. Predacons will stop at nothing to get that energy.

X-Brawn: Roger, chief.

Sideburn: Hey Optimus, something you said at the warehouse is really bumming me out.

Optimus: And what’s that, Sideburn?

Sideburn: Didn’t you tell me back there that if a missile hit this thing that the whole building would be history?

Optimus: Yes, that’s correct. Why?

X-Brawn: Oh, I wouldn’t worry about that, little brother. The Predacons don’t want to destroy the generator, they just want to steal it.

Optimus: X-Brawn’s right. It’s much more valuable to them in one piece.

Prowl: Stop bothering Optimus and keep your mind on your job!

Sideburn: Hey dude, I don’t want to be blown up, okay?

Optimus: The sooner we get this generator to its installation point the better. Stay on course, I’ll be in touch.

Sideburn: Hey man, if you want to blown into a million Autoparts, that’s your problem.

Prowl: Just where do you think you’re going, Sideburn?

Sideburn: As far away from that thing as I can. You guys should be able to handle this.

Prowl: Oh no you don’t!

Sideburn: Listen bro, I’m not feeling very well. I have to go see my mechanic.

Prowl: You’ll feel a lot worse if you don’t get back in line!

Sideburn: Hey, cut it out! Can I go return a video now? Otherwise they’ll charge me a late fee.

Prowl and X-Brawn: The answer is no!

Prowl: You’re staying with us!

Sideburn: Hey stop, that hurts!

X-Brawn: We’re sticking together, little brother. Oil is thicker than water.

Sideburn: But I’ve got a date! This is the last time I let you guys talk me into something like this!

Prowl: Would you stop your whining? All you’ve done on this trip is complain!

Sideburn: Hey, you see that? That guy is too close. He might bump it or something.

Prowl: It’s not nitro. Calm down, you’re making me nervous.

X-Brawn: What’s your problem? It’s not going to explode from being bumped.

Sideburn: Yeah, well I’m not taking any chances.

Dad: This traffic is awful. Maybe there’s an accident up ahead. They’ve just closed the next exit. Now we’re stuck here!

Koji: Well, maybe they’ll open it up soon.

Dad: At this rate we’ll be sitting here all day long!

Kelly: Great, now I’m late. What else could possibly go wrong today? I had to ask.

Megatron: Those Autobots are making our job a whole lot easier by falling into our trap.

Sky-Byte: I hope those three incompetents don’t mess up like they did the last time.

Gas Skunk: All right, we brought up the freeway map. Slapper already knows their route.

Slapper: There isn’t a computer made that I can’t hack. Just a few more keystrokes and I should have it! I’ve created a traffic jam so they won’t be able to move an inch!

Dark Scream: Good going, Slapper. He’s closed all the exits.

Slapper: I can almost taste all of that delicious energy!

Dark Scream: And those tin cans can’t stop us!

Sideburn: Come on, man. This is taking all day! I should be cruising the beach by now.

X-Brawn: Listen guys, I’ve got a bad feeling about this. I want you to stay on your wheels.

Slapper: Take off!

Driver: They don’t pay us enough for this!

Slapper: Robot mode! Boy, those two guys sure left in a hurry. You think they’re trying to tell us something?

Gas Skunk: Yeah, maybe it’s your breath. Let’s get the generator.

X-Brawn: X-Brawn, transform! I should’ve guessed. So you’re the reason for this huge traffic jam.

Slapper: Right, you’re sharp.

Dark Scream: We got it. Let’s go!

Prowl: Prowl, transform!

Sideburn: Right on, bro! Those Predacons already stole the energy generator.

X-Brawn: Bad news, boss. We were too late. The Predacons nabbed the generator.

Optimus: We’ve got to get it back!

X-Brawn: We need to surround them to grab the generator and we can’t shoot, there’s too many people!

Optimus: Hold on. T-AI, bring up the member select board.

T-AI: I’m engaging board right now.

X-Brawn: We’re stuck here. Are there any Autobots who can get through this terrible mess?

T-AI: As a matter of fact, the Spychangers will be able to get through. Hot Shot, report to the Otaka freeway near the Osaka Blvd. exit. Level one priority.

Hot Shot: Don’t worry, I’m on top of it.

T-AI: Race Exertion Vehicle, we’ll be needing you too.

REV: That’s why they call me REV, because I’m revved up and ready to go!

Crosswise: Roger. I’m up for a little action.

Koji: Can you see anything? We haven’t moved an inch in twenty minutes.

Dad: No, nothing but a sea of cars I’m afraid.

Koji: Oh… Woah! How can he do that? That is impossible! What’s going on?!

Gas Skunk: Bye bye!

Prowl: Launching Jet Claw!

Slapper: Destroying Jet Claw! You Autobots oughta be more careful. You just might hurt some innocent bystandards if you keep that up.

Prowl: Why you…

Sideburn: And while we’re on the subject of safety, we don’t wanna explode the generator, do we?

X-Brawn: You’re right. There’s too many people and that generator’s volatile. Hold your fire!

Gas Skunk: Slapper, will ya come on?

X-Brawn: I hate to say this, but our hands are tied right now.

Gas Skunk: What a shame!

Slapper: Too bad, you lose!

Hot Shot: You’re getting a little bit ahead of yourself, Slapper! Transform! Allow me to introduce myself, I’m Hot Shot.

Gas Skunk: One more of you metalheads isn’t going to make any difference.

REV: You forgot about me! REV, transform! All right, back away from the energy generator and no one gets hurt.

Dark Scream: Big deal. Now there are two more of you. So what?

Crosswise: Make that three.

Slapper: Not another one!

Crosswise: Power down stealth mode. You’re outnumbered and outclassed! Why don’t you give us back the energy generator and just walk away?

Slapper: Why don’t you try and take it?

Crosswise: If that’s the way you feel… Crosswise, transform!

Hot Shot: Autobots, let us take care of this for you.

X-Brawn: Be my guest, take ’em down!

Slapper: I’d love to stay and chat, but I really have to run! See ya later, losers!

Hot Shot: Man, those guys burn me up. Stealth mode!

Crosswise: Crosswise, stealth mode.

Sideburn: Who are those guys, anyway?

X-Brawn: Well little brother, they’re called the Spychangers. They’re part of our team.

Slapper: Those tinheads are pathetic. They’ll never catch us!

Hot Shot: You were saying? You’re in over your head.

Crosswise: You’ll never get away from us!

REV: Now where do you think you’re going with that stolen generator? We’re gonna be all over you like a cheap paint job!

Dark Scream: These guys are coming out of the pavement. We have to get out of here!

Slapper: Let’s get off this freeway, it’s the only way we can ditch these guys.

All: One, two, three, go!

Gas Skunk: Gas Skunk, terrorize!

Slapper: Slapper, terrorize!

Dark Scream: Dark Scream, terrorize!

Hot Shot: There they are up ahead. All right guys, let’s do it! Hot Shot, transform!

REV: Roger that, Hot Shot. REV, transform!

Crosswise: Right behind ya. Crosswise, transform!

Slapper: You guys are history. Laser time!

Dark Scream: Yeah!

Gas Skunk: Ha!

Slapper: I see you guys are lying down on the job.

Dark Scream: I’ve got to tell you, if this is the best they have to offer, I’m not impressed.

Hot Shot: These guys are tougher than I thought.

Crosswise: We may need some backup.

Slapper: Let’s teach them a lesson they’ll never forget. How many more Autobots are there?

WARS: You guys made a big mistake. You’re messing with the wrong crowd. WARS, transform!

Ironhide: You fellas are in for a world of hurtin’! Ironhide, transform!

Mirage: I’m not a figment of your imagination. Mirage, transform!

Slapper: This is unbelievable. These guys are everywhere.

Hot Shot: This is your last chance. Give up the generator!

[Transition]

Sky-Byte: I hate to tell you this, but those three bumbling buffoons botched it again. I suggest you let me handle it.

Megatron: All right, you take care of this. I’m counting on you to bring back that energy. No matter what it takes, I want that generator!

Sky-Byte: Yessir!

[Transition]

Slapper: Stand back, you junk iron scrap heaps. You’re not gonna get your hands on our energy.

Hot Shot: Circle Formation! Give it up, Slapper.

Slapper: Ugh, these guys are making me dizzy.

Hot Shot: Fire Blaster!

WARS: Let’s see ya dance!

REV: Locked on!

Crosswise: Throw in the towel. You’re through!

Gas Skunk: No!

Crosswise: Suit yourself.

Mirage: Eat laser, loser!

Hot Shot: Give the generator!

REV: Hold on, baby!

Hot Shot and REV: Who or what is that?

Slapper: You’re such a show-off.

[Sky-Byte mumbles with the generator in his mouth.]

Slapper: Don’t talk with your mouth full. Toss it here. I’ll hold it for you while you change.

Sky-Byte: Catch. That’s better. Terrorize! I’ll hold them off. Take the generator back to the base.

Dark Scream: You’re gonna need some help, Sky-Byte. I’ll hang with ya.

Slapper: In that case, we’ll see ya around.

Optimus: Where there’s smoke, there’s fire. Fire hose, blast off! That should cool off those hotheads. Autobots, transform! Battle protocol!

Hot Shot: The Spychangers are with you, Optimus. All the way!

Sky-Byte: What is this, a relay race?

Hot Shot: I’ll tell you just one more time. Surrender now!

Slapper: Gee, should we give up?

Sky-Byte: Pull yourself together. I’ll crush them into bits!

X-Brawn: C’mon boys, let’s give them a hand.

Optimus: Hold on.

Prowl: What is it?

Optimus: I’ve got a better idea. Let’s let the Spychangers handle this one.

Hot Shot: All right, team. How about a little cyber-jousting like back home?

Spychangers: Right!

REV: Let’s get ’em!

Slapper: Right laser!

Dark Scream: Feel the power of the center laser!

Gas Skunk: Left laser!

Hot Shot: Fire!

Sky-Byte: These guys are annoying.

Dark Scream: That really hurt! Blast those metal meddlers. If they wouldn’t have shown up here everything would have gone perfectly!

Sky-Byte: If they won’t let us have the generator then no one will have it!

Slapper: What are you saying, Sky-Byte?

Sky-Byte: One shot and it’s the end of the Autobots!

Slapper: You’re gonna… blow it up?!

Gas Skunk: He’s really lost it! I’m getting out of here while I’m still in one piece!

Sky-Byte: It’s showtime. Tsunami Blaster!

Sideburn: If that beam hits the generator, we’re scrap!

Sky-Byte: Look, the generator’s still intact. Now that’s what I call a good shot! Go and get it.

Slapper: All righty. Why are we always the ones carrying the heavy stuff?

Gas Skunk: I’ve never seen Sky-Byte lift anything.

X-Brawn: That was some blast. You boys all right?

Dark Scream: It’s been fun, but we’ve gotta run! Haha!

Optimus: We didn’t exactly save the day this time, did we?

Prowl: No kidding, this is terrible. The Predacons now have all that power! Who knows what they’ll do with it?

X-Brawn: Not gonna let us in on what’s so funny?

Hot Shot: It doesn’t matter what evil they’re planning because the real energy is right over there.

X-Brawn: What?

Sideburn: Huh?

Optimus: Well, would you look at that? That was some fast thinking, Spychangers.

Sideburn: But when were you able to exchange it with the real one?

REV: We made the change right before Fishhead’s laser was about to blast it.

X-Brawn: If these guys hid the real one then what was that thing the Predacons just ran off with?

Sideburn: Uhhh…

Prowl: I dunno.

[Transition]

Megatron: Excellent. With this power source, we will destroy the Autobots for good.

Slapper: I’m glad you’re pleased, oh great Megatron. We worked very hard to bring this to you.

Megatron: You will all be rewarded for your efforts. And now let me see the plutonium energy generator. What’s the meaning of this?

Gas Skunk: Dirty rotten double crossers.

Dark Scream: All those Autobots played us for saps. Wait till I get my hands on them!

Slapper: You mean to tell me that we went through all that trouble just to bring that ugly thing back here?

Sky-Byte: I should have known that these three fools would have messed up my plans.

Megatron: I’ll turn you into scrap! You fools!

Friend: Are you all right?

Dad: Koji, did you hurt yourself?

Koji: Oh, I’m all right.

Dad: You’re a tough kid, Koji. Just be careful, boys!

Koji: Hey wait up!

Optimus: It’s good to see you laugh, Koji. And don’t worry, we’ll find your dad and we’ll bring him back home to you.

Koji: Yeah!

[End]

Transformers: Robots in Disguise
“Bullet Train to the Rescue” – Episode 3
Written by Steve Kramer
Transcription by Brandon Williams

–
Gas Skunk: Now’s my chance. I’m gonna prove to Sky-Byte that I’m ready for this mission. Gas Skunk, terrorize! Hahahahaha, there’s nothing coming down the tracks that I can’t handle.

Sky-Byte: You’re a fool, Gas Skunk. You and the rest of your team are totally useless! It doesn’t take any brains to attack an unmaned freight car!

Gas Skunk: Shouldn’t you be in an aquarium somewhere?

Slapper: Well now, what do we have here? A moving target to practice on. What luck. Robot mode! Right laser! A strike, and right on the headpin!

Sky-Byte: Slapper, why do you waste time attacking these empty vessels? It accomplishes nothing. Instead of committing mindless destruction, you should be searching the planet for more energy to steal. I’ll have to take the initiative and launch the attack myself.

[Transition]

Dorrie Dutton: The Linear RFG, the World’s fastest bullet train, has just arrived at central station. We’re coming to you live to mark this historic occassion, the inaugural run of the World’s fastest transport system. Everything is controlled electronically from this space age command center. Decisions that used to involve human beings are now being carried out in a split second by a massive supercomputer.

Koji: It’s amazing. Optimus Prime, are you watching? It’s the coolest train I’ve ever seen.

Optimus: I hope it’s as safe as they say. There have been some incidents of railroad sabotage lately.

Koji: C’mon, don’t be the voice of doom. You worry too much! I’m sure it’s as safe as riding with you.

Optimus: Thanks for the compliment. Just keep your eyes open for trouble.

Koji: I’m so stoked! I bet the scenery goes by so fast that I won’t be able to follow it with my eyes. You should come with us!

Optimus: Just be careful out there.

Koji: Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. That command center is completely state of the art. It’s a slam dunk.

T-AI: Optimus Prime, the three Autobot Brothers have arrived.

X-Brawn: Okay everybody, we’re here. What was so important [that] we had to be pulled off our regular runs to report to headquarters?

Optimus: Take a look at this. Go ahead, T-AI, roll the images.

T-AI: Please pay attention. In the past week, there have been a series of freight train wrecks around the country. The number exceeds the average for this type of incident.

Prowl: Were people hurt?

T-AI: Fortunately, there were no people on board. We feel these wrecks were caused by the Predacons.

X-Brawn: Why would they even bother?

Sideburn: Yeah, that’s pretty small scale stuff for them.

Optimus: They’re probably looking for large scale energy sources. Today is the inaugural run of the Linear RFG bullet train. It would be a natural target.

Prowl: Oh yeah? Well whatever they’re up to, we’ll be watching ’em!

Optimus: There’s an additional consideration. Koji’s onboard that train.

T-AI: We have to find a way to protect him.

Optimus: Time to go to work. I’m initiating battle protocol. Everyone ready?

Autobot Bros: Yes sir.

Optimus: I’ll follow alongside the train. The rest of you, search the tracks up ahead for signs of what the Predacons might be planning. Let’s move out!

[Transition]

Sideburn: Well, I’m following the tracks but I don’t see anything suspicious. What are we looking for?

Prowl: Beats me. But knowing those Predacons I’m sure it’ll be lethal. Keep your eyes open. Koji’s on that train and may be in grave danger.

Sky-Byte: The humans think their new bullet train is totally safe, but I’m going to give them a surprise. Nothing is safe from me! When I’ve stolen the energy of the most powerful transport, Megatron will finally give me the respect I deserve.

Optimus: So far so good. I’d better get back to headquarters and make sure everything else is under control.

[Transition]

Gas Skunk: When this goes off it’ll really blow their minds! Ha, ha!

Prowl: All right, you two. Hold it right there. What are you up to?

Slapper: We just stopped by to fix some loose track, that’s all. You can never be too careful when it comes to track!

Gas Skunk: Safety first. There’s nothing going on here that would concern you.

Prowl: Well, I don’t know, lots of things concern me. Like sabotage! Prowl, transform!

Sideburn: Sideburn, transform!

Gas Skunk: Here’s a little present from me… Left laser!

Slapper: …And just to balance it out… Right laser!

Optimus: Sideburn, report.

Sideburn: We found a couple of Predacons messing around with the tracks. We’ll give you an update in a few minutes.

Optimus: Roger.

Worker #1: What happened? Our data screen just blanked out!

Optimus: I’m sorry to intrude, gentleman, but we have an emergency situation on our hands.

Worker #2: Who’s that robot?

Worker #3: It’s Optimus Prime, the leader of the Autobots.

Optimus: It appears the Predacons are attempting to destroy the Linear RFG. There isn’t much time, you have to stop the train immediately!

Worker #4: There’s a problem, Optimus. Our entire control system’s gone down. We can’t even communicate with the train, much less stop it.

Worker #2: Is there anything you can do to help us resolve this situation?

Optimus: We’re dealing with the problem now. I’ll have to get back to you.

[Transition]

Dark Scream: I’ve wrecked their control system! There’s no way they’ll be able to contact that train now!

Optimus: Emergency alert. T-AI, activate the member select program.

T-AI: We need Team Bullet Train for this operation. Access database. Each one is on assignment. I’ll have to contact them individually. Let’s see… Railspike, Rapid Run and Midnight Express. There’s no time to bring them to headquarters, they’ll have to go right to the field. Command center to Railspike. This is an emergency. Report to Optimus Prime.

Railspike: On my way. Gentlemen, there’s an emergency and I have to leave at once. You’ll need a replacement engine. I’ll be in touch. Hyper Rail!

Worker #5: I don’t believe this!

T-AI: Rapid Run, we have an urgent mission. Report for field duty.

Rapid Run: Uh oh. This is gonna be trouble. I’m on a commuter line. You ever seen a mob of angry commuters?

Kelly: This is just what I needed, a nice peaceful train ride. I don’t have to fight that freeway traffic. Yeah… And the best part of it is… I can eat my breakfast on the way in!

T-AI: Rapid Run, this is an emergency.

Rapid Run: I hear ya loud and clear. I just have to drop 50,000 pounds and I’ll be on my way. There, that’s better. I am now available and reporting for duty!

Kelly: How am I supposed to get to work? My boss is never going to believe this story!

T-AI: Midnight Express, report to Optimus Prime. The Predacons are planning an attack. We need you now. What is your ETA?

Midnight Express: That all depends. If the tracks are clear, I can be there in eight hours. If I use the global space bridge, I can be there in thirty seconds!

[Transition]

Optimus: Good to see you, Team Bullet Train.

Rapid Run: I don’t know what was so urgent that we had to drop everything. It doesn’t look like there isn’t any action going on yet.

Railspike: It’s not our business to question orders. If T-AI says it’s an emergency, I take her at her word. Besides, Prime will fill us in as soon as we’re assembled.

Rapid Run: I’m just sayin’ I left a load of angry passengers back there in the tunnel.

Midnight Express: Well, gentlemen… What’s the problem?

Rapid Run: Are you all right, buddy? It sounds like you just ran the hundred mile dash with a clogged air filter.

Midnight Express: Don’t worry about me, I’m topped off and ready to go!

Rapid Run: You could have fooled me. I thought you were runnin’ on fuel!

Railspike: All right, boys. Let’s pay attention to business. Prime, what’s our assignment?

Optimus: The train running next to us on the elevated track is the Linear RFG, the fastest in the world.

Rapid Run: That’s what I hear. I wanna try a little one-on-one sometime [and] see if it’s true.

Optimus: Hopefully it’ll still be around so you can find out. The Predacons are up to something. We’ve already stopped one attempt to sabotage the tracks and they’ll probably try again.

Rapid Run: Why don’t they cancel the trip until the danger’s passed?

Railspike: It’s too late for that. The command system’s been sabotaged. They can’t control the train.

Rapid Run: That means we have to find a way to stop it and right now.

Optimus: If you need help from the passengers, contact Dr. Onishi’s boy Koji. He’s on board.

All Trains: Roger!

Optimus: I’m going to meet up with the rest of the team. Activate space bridge.

[Transition]

Sideburn: That’s it! Now I’m getting ticked!

Optimus: Looks like I got here just in time. Optimus Prime, transform!

Prowl: What’s the word, Prime? Is the train all right?

Optimus: Railspike and the others are looking after it. We’d better concentrate on the situation right here.

Sky-Byte: Sky-Byte, terrorize! You’re too late, Optimus Prime. There’s nothing you can do to save that train.

Midnight Express: All right, what is our plan?

Railspike: We don’t want to alert the passengers [that] there’s a problem.

Rapid Run: We could just talk to the drivers to see what’s up. Let’s contact Koji.

Koji: What a great ride this is! Hey, what are all those trains doing out there? Where did they come from?

Railspike: Koji, can you hear me?

Koji: Huh?

Railspike: Nice to meet you. We’re Team Bullet Train, Optimus Prime sent us.

Koji: What?! You mean you’re Autobots?!

Rapid Run: We’re not out here playing bumper cars. We need an important favour from you.

Railspike: We need to slow the train down. Can you ask the driver to engage the manual override?

Koji: Sure.

Worker (running out): I don’t believe this!

Koji: Wonder what his problem is.

Driver #1: What in the world is going on? I thought we had a failsafe system. The brakes aren’t responding!

Driver #2: And the speed’s increasing! We’re out of control!

Koji: Listen you guys, we’re in trouble here. The brakes aren’t working and the train’s speeding up. What do we do?

Railspike: Stay calm, Koji. We’re here and we can help. Everything’s gonna be all right.

Koji: Okay, whatever you say.

Railspike: Let’s go to work, fellas. Don’t make me out to be a liar.

Rapid Run: The first thing we should do is get infront of it somehow!

Railspike: That won’t be easy. It’s running at over 150 MPH.

Midnight Express: Where does it have to get to so fast?

Rapid Run: Who cares about that? As long as it gets there in one piece!

Railspike: That’s the challenge, all right. Anybody got an idea how we can pull it off?

Midnight Express: How about coating the entire track with glue! That would slow it up.

Rapid Run: Dude, I’m gonna pretend you didn’t say that.

Sideburn: Turbo Backfire!

Prowl: Combustion Missiles!

Optimus: Compression Pistol!

Sky-Byte: Imbeciles! I knew I couldn’t depend on them. See how you like my Tsunami Blaster!

Optimus: Hang on Prowl, I’ll be right there! X-Brawn, Sideburn, get to the other side of the bridge and try to head off that train!

X-Brawn and Sideburn: On our way!

X-Brawn: X-Brawn, transform!

Sideburn: Sideburn, transform!

Optimus: Are you okay, Prowl? We’ve gotta get moving!

Sky-Byte: That’s it, that’s it. Race along, little speed demon. Race along to your doom. Nothing can save you now. Megatron will finally see what a good leader I am.

Railspike: Link up and use our brakes to stop the RFG.

Rapid Run: Roger!

Midnight Express: All I can say is be careful. If we overuse our brakes and they give out…

Railspike: …We’ll all be on the fast track to disaster. Here we go, initiate single file link-up!

Koji: All right!

Rapid Run: On my mark seperate and jump for it! Go! Good job, everyone got their head gaskets on straight?

Railspike: We’re in position. Whenever you’re ready.

Rapid Run: Do it!

Railspike: Begin braking chain!

X-Brawn: Yeehaw! X-Brawn, transform!

Sideburn: Sideburn, transform!

Optimus: Move in. Let’s go!

Sky-Byte: You’re too late to stop us. Everything is in place! Lower the bridge.

Dark Scream: Right.

Sky-Byte: Goodbye Optimus Prime. Enjoy the show!

Optimus: What?

Sideburn: Get back!

Sky-Byte: Here it comes. Very good, so far my plan is working perfectly.

Rapid Run: We can stop this thing, it’s just going to take some time.

Railspike: We copy.

Rapid Run: We’ve just run out of time! The bridge’s been blown!

Sky-Byte: You pathetic fools, you’ll go off the edge with the rest of them.

Rapid Run: I don’t think we’re slowing down enough!

Optimus: I’ve got to do something. They’ll never stop it in time. Optimus Prime, battle mode!

Railspike: Come on Midnight Express, dig in!

Midnight Express: I’m trying. I’m locked and loaded!

Rapid Run: This isn’t working! I’m telling you, we’re running out of track quick!

Optimus: I’m ready.

Sky-Byte: Those meddlers! They’ve ruined everything.

Optimus: Good job, Bullet Trains!

Rapid Run: Thanks a lot, Prime. Hey, can we back this thing up? We’re way to close to that bridge.

Sky-Byte: Wait a minute. We’re not through with you!

Sideburn: Optical laser strike!

Optimus: Looks like you boys lost your footing. Now get out of here so none of the humans get hurt.

Rapid Run: Bullet train’s back online and ready to roll!

ME and Railspike: Let’s move!

Koji: Bye Team Bullet Train! Thanks a lot!

Sky-Byte: So, you think you’ve won, do you? We haven’t even begun to fight!

Megatron: You’re right. You haven’t begun to fight. What are you incompetents doing here without orders from me?

Sky-Byte: It wasn’t my fault!

Megatron: It’s never your fault. Let me show you how it’s done. Megatron, terrorize! Cutter Beam!

Optimus: Don’t you even bother to say hello anymore?

Rapid Run: We were gonna come back and help you clean up the mess, but now it looks like somebody’s trying to mess around.

Railspike: Railspike, transform!

Rapid Run: Rapid Run, transform!

Midnight Express: Midnight Express, transform!

Megatron: You’re finished!

Rapid Run: Compression Injector!

Railspike: Powerstroke Missiles!

Midnight Express: Diesel Destructo Gun!

Megatron: Dragon Mode! Dual Comprehension Dragon Fire!

Railspike: We need some extra push.

Rapid Run: You know what that means! Time for a little cold fusion!

Railspike: All right, everybody ready?

All: Let’s do it! Bullet Fusion Mode!

Rail Racer: Triple Power! Rail Racer!

Sideburn: Wow, how come we can’t do that?

Prowl: I dunno… I think they’re double jointed.

Sideburn: Maybe they could teach us how to do it.

X-Brawn: I was never a good student.

Sideburn: Come to think of it, I wouldn’t wanna fuse with you guys anyway.

Megatron: Twin Dragon Breath!

Rail Racer: Super Turbo Punch! Fusion Laser Rifle! Scatter Blast!

Sky-Byte: Megatron, wait for me!

Optimus: Thanks a lot, Rail Racer.

Rail Racer: Sure. We just can’t stand lifeforms that blow up railroad tracks. We all take that very personally.

Railspike: Glad this all worked out for the best. We should get back to work.

Rapid Run: I was in the middle of a commuter haul. They didn’t seem to happy about the interruption. Maybe I can make up for the lost time.

Railspike: Remember though, safety first.

Midnight Express: I was about to haul a private wedding party. My word, I hope they haven’t taken their vows yet.

Rapid Run: See ya later, guys. Call us if ya need us.

Optimus: That’s one tough team. They really came through.

Lady on Train Intercom: Ladies and gentlemen, we appreciate your patience during our short delay. Due to the timely and dynamic assistance of the Autobots, the Linear RFG will now complete its inaugural run.

Optimus: I’m glad we could help. We’ll always be there to protect the Earth and its inhabitants. No matter what the threat.

[End]

Transformers: Robots in Disguise
“An Explosive Situation” – Episode 2
Written by Tom Wyner
Transcription by Brandon Williams

–
Truck Driver #1: The night deliveries are killing me. What’s the rush, anyway?

Truck Driver #2: Power company needs this big power cell to backup their computer system.

Truck Driver #1: Well, wake me up when we get there. Huh? What’s that? You must be kidding me. It’s a shark!

Truck Driver #2: Listen pal, I think you better go back to sleep. This night shift really is getting to ya… WOAH!

Sky-Byte: I don’t know why I bother, that was barely enough for a snack. I need more energy and I believe I know where to find it! Hahaha!

[Transition]

Optimus: Koji, we have a Predacon alert! Meet you one block north of your present location.

Koji: One block north of my house. Gotcha, Optimus. I’m on my way there right now!

Optimus: Hurry Koji. This is an emergency!

Koji: Woah, what are you running on, jet fuel? What’s all the commotion about, Optimus? Where are we going?

Optimus: Not far. I’ll explain everything when we get there. Optimus Prime, transform!

Koji: Holy cow! What is this place?

Optimus: This is Cybertron Base, the Autobot’s Secret Underground Headquarters.

Koji: Wow! How many Autobots does it take to run this operation?

Optimus: Our systems are controlled by a proactive Cybernetic interface program. We call it T-AI, which is short for Tactical Artifical Intelligence.

T-AI: Hello Optimus. I see you’ve brought along a visitor.

Optimus: Yes, T-AI. This is my friend, Koji, Dr. Onishi’s son.

T-AI: Nice to meet you, Koji. Any friend of Optimus is a friend of mine. I’m T-AI, Tactical Artifical Intelligence system. Daughter of the Teletraan-1 computer program.

Koji: Nice to meet you too, T-AI. AHH!

T-AI: Sorry, I should have told you. I’m a holographic projection, not a physical entity. I’m a pro-active self-initializing program that constantly scans the entire planet in order to alert the Autobots when it looks like the Predacons are up to something.

Optimus: Take a look at the monitors, Koji. In the past few days there have been reports of over 200 vehicles being attacked on the road. In each case, the vehicle’s battery was stolen.

Koji: But who’d want to steal car batteries?

Optimus: The Predacons. Batteries contain energy and they want as much energy as they can get.

Koji: They’re putting people in danger. Can’t you stop them, Optimus?

Optimus: We’ve tried, but no matter how fast we respond, the attackers are gone by the time we get there.

T-AI: The Autobot Brothers are patroling the highways right now. They’ve been working for megacycles trying to intercept the Predacons.

Sideburn: Whoooweeeee! Just look at that at paintjob! Not to mention those custom wheels. Very classy. Hello you beautiful sportscar! I’d share my garage with you anytime.

Kelly: That guy’s nuts, he’s talking to my car!

Sideburn: You move like a dream and the purr of your engine is music to my ears…

Kelly: Go listen to somebody else’s engine!

Sideburn: Hey, wait a minute! You don’t understand! Can’t we talk about this?! C’mon, have a heart, will ya?!

Prowl: Enough of the fun and games, Sideburn! We’ve got work to do!

Sideburn: All right, I was just taking a little break to, you know, introduce myself!

Prowl: We’re on full time emergency patrol, remember? No breaks allowed until we catch those battery thieves!

Sideburn: We’ve been out here for days and haven’t seen a thing! How are we supposed to find these guys?

Prowl: By covering as much ground as we can, now let’s get back to it.

Sideburn: That little red sportscar could be their next target. I’d better follow her.

Prowl: Ha, as far as I can tell, the only one targetting that little red sportscar is you, little brother.

Sideburn: Hey, a bot’s got to rev up his engine once in a while! Besides, I’m not the only one having fun. X-Brawn is too! Here, check him out.

Prowl: He’s not climbing it for fun. It’ll be easier to spot the Predacons from up there.

X-Brawn: Man, oh man, my poor achin’ tires! You’d think who ever built this here contraption would have at least put in a freight elevator! Prowl, when I get down from here, you’re gonna owe me a new set of shocks!

[Prowl sighs.]

Sideburn: C’mon, there’s nothing to worry about! Hey, you gotta loosen up, bro. You keep searching like that and your transmission will wear out.

Prowl: You leave my transmission out of this!

Sideburn: Whoa! Hey, come on man… I’m just trying to have some fun! Ha, hey! Watch it!

Megatron: We must find a new source of energy. Our mobile command center has been stuck here in the same spot for too long. The only way we can keep its existance a secret from the Autobots is by constantly changing its location, but our voyage to Earth used up almost all of our energy to power our Transwarp cells!

[Megatron turns around.]

Megatron: If it weren’t for those blasted Autobots, we could easily force the pathetic humans, who inhabit this planet, to turn all of their energy over to us! And then, I would rule this galaxy… And soon the entire universe! Somehow I’ll find a way to get rid of the Autobots and then nothing can stop me!

Slapper: Megatron!

Megatron: Hmmm?

Slapper: We brought back lots of energy, boss!

Megatron: Excellent! Well done, Slapper! Convert it to energon cubes and recharge the fuel cells. After that, we’ll move the base to a new location. How is this energy being stored and how long will it take to convert?

Dark Scream: It’s stored in little round cannisters!

Gas Skunk: They’re used in something called flashlights and we’ve got thousands of them!

[The three “moron” Predacons laugh.]

Megatron: Hmmmm?

Slapper: Great score, huh? ‘Course we’ll have to convert it to energon and that’ll take a while.

Dark Scream: I don’t think it’ll take more than a week or two.

Gas Skunk: Well, three at the most.

Megatron: Silence! We need massive quantities of energy, not little batteries!

Slapper: Sorry, this is all we could find!

Gas Skunk: Anywhere.

Megatron: You have failed me! Beast Mode! Did you really think the energy in these puny batteries would be enough to run this base?

Slapper: Well, yeah. Sorta.

Megatron: Fools! I should add your energy cores to the conversion batch!

Sky-Byte: You’ve wasted your time, Megatron. One of those flashlights is brighter than the three of them combined!

Megatron: Show yourself, Sky-Byte!

Sky-Byte: Certainly. Hahaha!

Dark Scream: Errrr, hey what are you doing here, Sky-Byte?!

[Sky-Byte responds with a growl.]

Sky-Byte: Sky-Byte, terrorize! The good news is that I brought you the most powerful battery the humans are capable of manufacturing. The bad news is even this isn’t strong enough to mobilize the command center.

Megatron: If the fuel cells aren’t recharged soon, the Autobots will discover our location.

Sky-Byte: You needn’t to worry about that, Megatron. Based on the reports I’ve been monitoring, I believe I know how to solve our problem. Listen to this.

Dorrie Dutton: All of the terrorists have been placed under arrest.

[Megatron shows interest.]

Dorrie Dutton: However, the terrorists’ ultra high explosive device has not yet been found. The device has been hidden inside the engine of a red sportscar, one of the new XE-12 models. All red XE-12’s have been recalled and are being thoroughly searched.

Megatron: High energy?

Sky-Byte: Exactly. If we get our hands on this device, we could dismantle it, extract the energy and convert it for use in our fuel cells. As long as we can prevent the device from detonating, it will give us all the energy we need.

Megatron: Then finding the bomb in that red sportscar is our top priority.

Sky-Byte: The only one left that hasn’t been searched is being delivered to Metro City.

Megatron: Yes, I see, and its exact location?

Sky-Byte: Right now it’s being off-loaded from a ship in the Metro City docks.

Slapper: What if this device is rigged to go off if you try to take it out of the car?

Dark Scream: Yeah, there’s no telling what might happen. Sounds awful dangerous.

Gas Skunk: And if we hit a boo-boo, the bandaids on Earth aren’t big enough for Predacons.

Megatron: Silence you snivelling cowards! Sky-Byte, I’m putting you in charge of this mission. Use whatever means necessary to retrieve that device!

Sky-Byte: Your wish is my command, mighty Megatron.

[Transition]

Kelly: Oh, it’s just what I’ve always wanted! A red XE-12 with a leather interior and a CD player too! All right! Talk about a smooth ride, this baby handles like she was glued to the road! Okay, now let’s she what kind of power she’s got!

Sky-Byte: That human could ruin everything! At that speed, one bump in the road could detonate it and the energy it contains would be lost forever. The car’s probably boobie trapped. I can’t rip out the bomb or it’ll blow. I’ll have to tear the rest of the car apart, bit by bit, until there’s nothing left but the device. Then, a gentle grab and its mine!

Sideburn: Hey sweetie, remember me? Well of course you do!

Kelly: Oh no! Don’t tell me that pest is here again!

Sky-Byte: I didn’t think the Autobots would show up so quickly. I’m gonna have to put my plan into action right now!

Sideburn: Sorry, I thought you were somebody else. But I can see now that you are new around here! Woah, the shine on your chrome is boosting my revs into Red Line City!

Kelly: Oh rats! He’s talking to my car again!

Sideburn: Wait! Where ya going? Was it something I said?! C’mon, give me a chance, will ya?!

Kelly: Get a life, you jerk!

Prowl: Cool it, Sideburn! We’re still on patrol.

Sideburn: The difference between you and me, Prowl, is that I know how to do my duty and find a little way of having fun while I’m doing it!

Prowl: Duty is its own reward, little brother.

[Sky-Byte attacks Kelly’s car.]

Prowl: That’s Sky-Byte, one of the Predacons!

Sideburn: Huh? Oh, of course it is. What do you think I was chasing?

Prowl: Yeah right.

Kelly: Please don’t hurt my new car!

Sideburn: Oh no! Sky-Byte’s about to leave his teeth marks in that beautiful paintjob of her’s!

Prowl: I’ve got to admit, this is the worst case of road rage I’ve ever seen. Predacon, you’re under arrest! Prowl, Jet Boosters! Halt, Predacon!

Sky-Byte: Autobot, I warn you, if you try and interfere with my mission, you’ll suffer the consequences!

Prowl: Prowl, transform!

Sky-Byte: Here’s a tip for you. Never ignore a warning from a shark! Now get out of my way, Autobot!

Sideburn: Sideburn, transform!

Sky-Byte: You chose to ignore my warning. Such ignorance and disrespect will not be tolerated. Ah, I’ll deal with you two later.

Prowl: No way, Sky-Byte. We do this now! Jet Booster Power Fist!

Sideburn: Battle Blade!

Sky-Byte: Well, it’s been fun playing with you two, but recess is over. Shark Missile! Happy Motoring!

Sideburn: Come back here!

Dark Scream: Ha! That’s the car, Slapper! We found it!

Kelly: I must be dreaming… Either that or I should be put in the nearest nuthouse!

Dark Scream: Gotcha!

Slapper: We did it! We got the car!

Sky-Byte: Careful, you clumbsy fools! One false move and that device will detonate and blow all of you into oblivion! I shall take it to Megatron. Now hand it over to me.

Slapper: It’s ours! We found it and we’re taking it in! Get going, guys!

Dark Scream: Let’s go!

Sky-Byte: Get out of my way! That’s no way to carry a bomb. Shaking like that could cause it to detonate! Now hand it over and I’ll fly it to the command center!

Gas Skunk: Hey, you’re not the only one who can fly, tuna breath. Take it, Dark Scream.

Dark Scream: Good thinking, Gas Skunk. Adios Overbite!

Sky-Byte: Try to get it through your thick skulls, neither of you is taking that car anywhere!

Kelly: I just know I’ll wake up any second!

Sky-Byte: I’ve got the bomb!

Sideburn: My beautiful red sportscar! Don’t worry, I’ll save ya!

Sky-Byte: Hahaha! Now that I have the device, I have to deliver it to Megatron.

Sideburn: Oh no! My beautiful sportscar is gone!

Prowl: Prowl, transform! Don’t worry, I’ve gotcha. Sorry ma’am. I do apologize for the inconvenience. Are you all right?

Kelly: For someone who has been attacked by a giant flying squirrel, a huge toad, a maniacal shark and a monsterous skunk… Sure, I’m just fine.

Sky-Byte: Hahaha! This device contains enough power to recharge all our fuel cells. I’ll convert its energy as soon as I reach the command center.

X-Brawn: Think again, hoss.

Sky-Byte: What the?!

X-Brawn: This little chunk of energy’s going with me.

Sky-Byte: You clumbsy Autobot. Now that you’ve handled it so roughly, the device has armed itself! Ha, thanks to your own heavy-handed clumbsiness, you’ll have to give the device back to me. You really have no other choice.

X-Brawn: Says who?

Sky-Byte: It could go off any second! It won’t be dangerous if I fly away with it, but if you keep it, the whole city could be destroyed!

X-Brawn: I didn’t roll off the assembly line yesterday. You just want it back so the Predacons can suck out the energy.

Dark Scream: I have a feeling it’s going to get real unhealthy around here in a minute or two. What do you say we get out of here, boys?

Gas Skunk: You know, that’s the best idea I’ve heard all day.

Slapper: Hey, when you’re right…

All Three Preds: You’re right! Every Predacon for himself!

Sideburn: Dude, I’ve got a bad feeling about this.

Prowl: Yeah, if what Sky-Byte said is true, thousands of lives are in danger. We’ve got to get that bomb away from the city, but we’re almost out of time!

Sideburn: X-Brawn, you’ve got to take that bomb somewhere where the explosion will do the least amount of damage!

X-Brawn: I won’t have time to get very far and we’re right in the middle of the city! Where should I take it? Any suggestions?

Prowl: Take it to the top of the highest structure you can find! The higher it is the less damage it’ll do.

X-Brawn: The highest structure? Right! I’m on my way. Yeehaw! Woohoo! Ride ’em, cowboy! Here we go!

Sky-Byte: Oh no, if that bomb goes off, all its energy will be wasted. Careful, you fool!

X-Brawn: Yeehaw! One more swing oughta do it! I’m almost there!

T-AI: What he’s doing is awfully dangerous. Where is he going with that thing?

Koji: He’s trying to get to the top of that radio tower. Do you have any idea how tall it is?

T-AI: 500 feet.

Koji: Then we better start thinking about a Plan B.

X-Brawn: Made it! Now I’ve just got to get up to the top!

Sky-Byte: It’s no use! Even at this height, it will destroy the city. So hand it over!

Koji: He’s right, X-Brawn, if that thing goes off at 500 feet, the city’ll be demolished!

Optimus: He’s gonna run out of power soon.

Koji: In order to save the city, you’re going to have to take that thing a lot higher. Like into the stratosphere or maybe even farther!

Optimus: Of course! That’s the answer! X-Brawn, hold your position. I’m on my way! Vehicle mode!

X-Brawn: Fine by me to park it right here, Optimus. I’m plum-tuckered out.

Sky-Byte: Well now… Hahaha… You’ve come to the end of your rope. Excellent! Give me the bomb.

X-Brawn: Looks like the calvalry got here just in time!

Optimus: Optimus Prime, transform! Hello Sky-Byte.

Sky-Byte: There’s nothing you can do, Optimus.

Optimus: I beg to differ. Optimus Prime, optimize! X-Brawn, listen up. Switch into robot mode and throw that device as far and high as you can!

X-Brawn: Why sure. A country mile and then some! X-Brawn, transform!

Sky-Byte: Foolish Autobots! I’ll catch up to it in no time!

Optimus: Activate Power Stream targetting mechanism. Locked on. Power Stream, fire!

T-AI: Look, Optimus is using his Power Stream to send the bomb into space! And it’s so cold outside the Earth’s atmosphere that the water covering Sky-Byte will freeze him like an ice cream cone!

Sky-Byte: I’ll get you for this, Optimus!

[Sky-Byte is shot into space.]

Sky-Byte: Huh? There it is! I’ve got to be very careful. The slightest vibration will set it off. I’ll have to use my gentlest bite! Uh oh. I believe I am in — may have been — just a teensy weensy bit too hard!

Optimus: It worked. The city is out of danger. Thanks Koji. We couldn’t have done it without you. It was your idea that saved Metro City. Well done!

Koji: All right! Yahoo! Woaaahh!

T-AI: Hmmm….

Dark Scream: Sky-Byte must have shook a bolt loose in that explosion. Now he’s reading books!

Slapper: What for?

Dark Scream: He says once we understand humans we can trick ’em into giving us their energy!

Sky-Byte: What sort of nonsense is this? “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times?” Best or worst, make up your mind!

Slapper: Does Sky-Byte really think he’s going to understand humans by reading that stuff?

Sky-Byte: “To be or not to be?” This guy can’t make up his mind either!

Slapper: It’s not gonna work.

Dark Scream: Of course not!

Gas Skunk: Humans are all crazy!

[The “Morons” snicker as the show ends.]

Transformers: Robots in Disguise
“Battle Protocol!” – Episode 1
Written by Tom Wyner
Transcription by Brandon Williams

–
“The fire’s about 60% contained, but other structures are in danger. Knock it down quick, guys!”

“Copy that. You heard the man, step on it!”

[Koji’s alarm clock goes off.]

Koji: Oh man, I’m late! I can’t believe it! Oooh! Why does that always happen? Oohh….

[He goes down and turns the TV on.]

Koji: Better hurry, Mom!

Dorie Dutton: This is Dorie Dutton, reporting from the first International Scientific Symposium, a truly groundbreaking event! Scientists from all over the globe, specialists from fields of the environment are meeting here today to share their research and work together for the betterment of all human kind. The first speaker will be Dr. Onishi, the world’s foremost archeologoist and expert in natural resources.

Koji: All right, Dad! He’s about to start, hurry up!

Dr. Onishi: Good morning. I’d like to welcome all of you. We’re here, from around the globe to share in a unique and historical event. Right now, the greatest danger to the planet Earth is the inefficient and improper use of energy.

[People all worried.]

Dorie Dutton: Ladies and gentlemen, we’re under attack by what appears to be some sort of giant metallic hand!

Megatron: Megatron, terrorize! I am Megatron. I am the leader of the Predacons and the future ruler of the galaxy. The Predacons are in need of energy and there is one among you who knows the location of every energy source on Earth. You, Dr. Onishi! In the transmissions we intercepted, you were described as Earth’s foremost expert.

Dr. Onishi: You won’t learn a thing! Not from me.
Koji: I gotta find out if dad’s all right. I’ll call him on the cell phone. Answer it Dad, answer it!

Dr. Onishi: Koji, listen closely! You’ve got to….

Koji: …Dad? My dad’s in danger, somebody’s got to help him…

Optimus Prime: …And somebody will. I’ll do everything I can to help your father. Can you meet me at the entrance to Metro Park in five minutes?

Koji: Wait! I don’t even know who you are!

Optimus Prime: I’ll explain everything later, Koji.

Koji: Hey, how do you know who I am?

Optimus Prime: There’s no time for that now. I’ll see you in five minutes.

Koji: …but…

[Transition]

Fireman: Unit 6 to base… The fire’s under control.

Optimus Prime: Please step away from the truck.

Fireman: I heard a voice, but there’s no one there!

Optimus Prime: It’s an emergency, I’m going to need to borrow your truck for a while. Please step back.

Fireman: Yeah, sure…

Optimus Prime: The truck will be returned to the station as soon as my mission is completed. Thanks for your co-operation.

Fireman: You’re not gonna believe this. That fire engine talked to me!

Another Fireman: I think all of that smoke is making you loopy.

[Transition]

Koji: Where is this guy?

Optimus Prime: Get in! We’ve got to hurry.

Koji: Uh, okay. Hey! Uhhh… What’s going on?!

Optimus Prime: Take it easy, Koji.

Koji: Huh?

Optimus Prime: I suppose I should introduce myself. My name is Optimus Prime. I’m an Autobot from the planet Cybertron.

Koji: A robot from another planet?

Optimus Prime: That’s right. Now we’ve got no time to lose. We’ve got to get to your father as quicky as possible.

Koji: The symposium’s in New York! You can’t drive across the Atlantic Ocean!

Optimus Prime: Anything is possible, Koji. Never forget that.

Some Driver: A kid driving a fire truck?

Optimus Prime: What you are about to see cannot be shared with anyone.

Koji: It’s a dead end! What are you doing?! …Where are we going?

Optimus Prime: This is the Global Space Bridge. It uses Transwarp technology to get us to any place on Earth in a matter of minutes.

Koji: I hope you’re right, ’cause right now it looks like we’re headed straight into the ocean!

Optimus Prime: The space bridge uses an auto-sensor interlink, which opens the portals we need and closes the ones we’ve just passed through. It keeps track of our location anywhere on the planet. Now, let’s go rescue your father.

Megatron: You have no choice, doctor. You will give me the information I want, now.

Dr. Onishi: And if I refuse, what then?

Megatron: No one refuses for long. I am Megatron, the ruler of many worlds! You dare to defy me?!

Dr. Onishi: You monster! I will never betray planet Earth!

Megatron: No? Perhaps a demonstration… Megatron, terrorize! My power is greater than you can imagine, either do what you’re told or suffer the consequences! A taste of my Sonic Pain Wave should convince you!

[Screams of pain.]

Megatron: This is merely a small sample of the punishment I can inflict.

Koji: Huh? What the?

Optimus Prime: This will be dangerous, Koji. You need to wait here until I get back.

Megatron: You little humans think that a puny fire engine is going to stop me?!

Optimus Prime: Optimus Prime, transform!

Megatron: Well, look who’s here. Optimus Prime, as I live and breathe.

Optimus Prime: Leave now, Megatron. This planet is under the protection of the Autobots!

Megatron: After the Predacons are through with it, there won’t be anything to protect!

Optimus Prime: I’m warning you, Megatron!

Megatron: On the contrary, you should heed my warning! Megatron, terrorize!

Koji: They both changed their forms! Autobots are just like the Predacons.

Optimus Prime: It’s true. We are two different races of robots from a planet many light years from Earth.

Koji: Then you’re on their side, you lied to me!

Optimus Prime: No. Listen, Koji. We Autobots live to protect others. Predacons exist only to conquer and destroy.

Koji: How am I supposed to know who to trust?

Optimus Prime: That’s a decision you’ll have to make for yourself.

Megatron: Cutter Beam!

Optimus Prime: Take cover!

Megatron: Hahaha! Poor Optimus. Did you really think you had a chance of defeating me?

Optimus Prime: As a matter of fact, I never doubted that for a second, Megatron. Blaze Blaster! Now go, Megatron, while you still can!

Megatron: Terrorize! You are hopelessly outmatched. Come forth, Predacons, and destroy Optimus Prime!

Optimus Prime: Bring it on!

Slapper: Slapper, terrorize!

Gas Skunk: Gas Skunk, terrorize!

Dark Scream: Dark Scream, terrorize!

Optimus Prime: What do you know, somebody must have forgotten to lock the gate at the petting zoo.

Megatron: How true, laugh while you can, Optimus!

Slapper: I knew we’d get rid of you someday, Optimus, and today is the day!

Gas Skunk: Say goodbye, Autobot, because we’re gonna blast you to bits!

Dark Scream: But first we’re going to fry your circuits!

Slapper: Right Laser!

Dark Scream: Center Laser!

Gas Skunk: Left Laser!

Optimus Prime: Pretty good… But not good enough. What’s Megatron up to?

Koji: Dad!

Optimus Prime: That’s as far as you go, Megatron.

Slapper: You’re the one who’s not going anywhere! You’re history, Autobot!

Koji: Dad! Dad!

Optimus Prime: Koji, wait, stay back! It’s too dangerous!

Gas Skunk: Get the point, Optimus!

Dark Scream: AAAAAAAHHHH!

Slapper: Now I’m gonna finish you!

Gas Skunk: Not if I get to him first!

Dark Scream: No, he’s mine!

[The Predacons start to argue.]

Optimus Prime: I think I might need a little help on this one. T-AI, battle protocol!

T-AI: Battle protocol, activating now!

Optimus Prime: I need backup in alpha quadrant, sector 3, ASAP!

T-AI: Copy that, the Autobot Brothers are in that quadrant. Prowl is online. Now for his younger brother, Sideburn. He’s the fastest. Now I’m scanning for X-Brawn, he’s the oldest and the strongest. Listen up, guys. This is a battle protocol. I repeat, this is a battle protocol!

Kelly: If I keep going at this rate, I think I can get to New York in time for breakfast!

X-Brawn: My apologies, ma’am. You’re gonna have to take a cab.

Kelly: Me? Why?

X-Brawn: Just an emergency. Sorry! All right! Time to put the pedal to the metal and burn some serious rubber!

Sideburn: Hey… That’s a pretty slick little chassis you got there.

Woman in Red Car: Hehehe, oh my!

Prowl: Quit foolin’ around, Sideburn. You got T-AI’s alert, same as I did! We’ve got a battle protocol to respond to, so step on it!

Sideburn: All right, I’m going, I’m going. But just look at that paintjob, will ya? Ain’t she a beaut?

Prowl: Don’t make me get out my tow-bar…

T-AI: Get ready to enter Global Space Bridge warp bubble in seven seconds.

All 3 Autobot Bros: Gotcha!

Sideburn: Wouldn’t you know it, the car of my dreams! We were just getting to know eachother and I had to leave her in the dust!

X-Brawn: Leave who in the dust? You lost a spark plug, Sideburn? What are you jawin’ about?

Sideburn: The hottest little red sportscar I’ve ever seen, dude.

X-Brawn: Hahaha! I swear, Sideburn, if you were as good at fighting as you are at flitin’, the Predacons wouldn’t have a chance! Now get a move on, Prime needs us.

Sideburn: All right, all right, I’m coming!

Koji: Dad! AHH! Hey!

X-Brawn: You all right, kid? I’ll take that as a “yes.” Now find a place to hide and stay out of the way, okay?

Koji: Uh, okay… See ya.

X-Brawn: X-Brawn, transform! Yeehaw!

Sideburn: Sideburn, transform! Let’s dance!

Prowl: Prowl, transform!

X-Brawn: Howdy Prime. We too late for the party?

Sideburn: We decided to drop in anyway. We didn’t get our invitations, maybe they were lost in the mail.

Prowl: We heard some of the guests were kind of rude, that right, Optimus?

Optimus Prime: Yep, I asked them to leave, but they just keep hangin’ around.

X-Brawn: Not for long. You can count on it.

Optimus Prime: Keep ’em busy. I’m going after Megatron.

Sideburn: I’ve forgotten how ugly the Predacons are!

Three Preds: What?!

Prowl: I’m going to pursue and apprehend Gas Skunk!

Sideburn: Slapper’s yours. I’ll take Dark Scream!

Optimus Prime: Let’s rock.

Megatron: You’ve got something I need, doctor. It’s time for us to leave, Dr. Onishi.

Optimus Prime: Hold it right there. Get away from him, Megatron!

Megatron: Hurricane Shockwave! Hahahaha!

Slapper: C’mon, X-Brawn. Take your best shot!

X-Brawn: You must be a mind-reader, friend, ’cause that’s exactly what I’m planning to do. But there’s a little errand I have to run first. You hang tight, I’ll be right back!

Slapper: Hey, wait! What am I supposed to do till you come back?

X-Brawn: Measure your tongue or something! Time to get rollin’. On second thought, I should have taken the elevator!

Slapper: 42 feet, 3 inches. That’s impressive!

X-Brawn: X-Brawn, transform!

Slapper: Hey! That’s not fair! You tricked me!

Gas Skunk: Let’s see how you do against my Skunk Tail Attack!

Prowl: No way you’re getting through my Barrier Shield. Have a little Fusion Flame!

Gas Skunk: Amazing how a nice day can turn into such a bummer.

Sideburn: Congratulations, Dark Scream! You’ve just won the prize for most obnoxious lifeform!

Dark Scream: Flattery will get you nowhere, Autobot! Beast Mode! AHHHH!

Sideburn: Oh no! A scratch! That does it, Dark Scream, now you’re really gonna get it! I just washed and waxed this morning!

Dark Scream: Oh no!

Megatron: Hahahahahaha! You seem a little rusty, Optimus!

Optimus Prime: Can’t let him win! Got to help Koji’s father!

Koji: Huh?

Optimus Prime: No! Koji, stay back!

Koji: Megatron! You’re just a big punk! A bully! You know what, you’re a loser!

Megatron: You insolent brat!

Optimus Prime: Good job, Koji. You distracted him just long enough. Set for Megatron. Target signature… Flying Fist! You’ll find it packs quite a punch!

Koji: All right!

Megatron: Don’t be a fool, Prime. We can share this planet’s riches.

Optimus Prime: Not a chance, Megatron. I won’t let you plunder this planet and leave it a lifeless baron rock, as you have with countless other worlds. I’m gonna take you down!

Megatron: You’ve already lost this battle, you just don’t know it! Megatron, Jet Mode!

Optimus Prime: A wise decision, Megatron.

Megatron: Oh yes, Optimus, but I’m not going alone! Hahahaha!

Koji: Dad! Let him go, you monster!

Megatron: Soon all his knowledge will be mine! Hahahaha!

Koji: ….Dad!… No…

Gas Skunk: Megatron’s gone, what do we do now?

Slapper: We got what we came for, let’s get out of here!

Dark Scream: Incoming!

Koji: Dad’s glasses.

Optimus: Koji, I’m sorry, my friend. I promised I would save your father and I will. I’ll never give up. Never.

Koji: But Optimus, how are you going to defeat the Predacons? They’re so powerful.

Optimus: Our power is greater than theirs because it comes from a place of goodness, not greed. We’ll get your father back, believe me.

Koji: I do believe.

Optimus: Good. What you’ve seen is evidence of our commitment to protect this planet and its people. And one day, with your help, we’ll defeat the Predacons once and for all.

[End]

TFCog’s Christmas present to all of you – our fans – is a new episode Victory! We’ve worked long and hard on this and we believe it is well worth the wait so hopefully you will too! Once again, this is only part of what we have planned. There’s plenty more to come from TFCog in 2012!

Deathsaurus is ready to attack the Earth with multi-headed missiles if the Autobots don’t let him take all the energy he wants. How can Star Saber and the Autobots put a stop to Deathsaurus’ plan? How will Victory Leo react to this passive approach of Star Saber’s? Find out in our 26th episode – with only SIX more episodes to go in the series!

Download Transformers Victory FDP 26 – “The Victory Combination” (283 MB)

Discuss the episode on the TFCog Forums!

We’d like to wish all of our fans, visitors, voice actors, contributors and other associates a very Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! There’s plenty to come from TFCog in the very near future… perhaps including a new website and a new episode, so keep your optics on TFCog.com!

Thanks to Grimbot, we’ve made lots of new additions to the site. Visit the various sections here on TFCog and enjoy the new media we’ve added.

August 9th, 2010 marks the release of the first release in the Transformers Victory FDP series in almost 3 years. The episode is finally out and we hope it is as much worth the wait as possible. Thank you to everyone involved from the cast, crew and of course the viewers! A smaller version of the episode should be released shortly.

Victory Leo is online and his relation to his former self – Apex Prime – is questionable at best. Victory Leo will be tested when Jan and Stakeout are in danger. Can Victory Leo find his former and perhaps true self underneath the savage beast that is Victory Leo?

Download Transformers Victory FDP 25 – “Awaken, Victory Leo” – 270 MB

Discuss the episode on the TFCog Forums!