Transformers: Energon
“Distribution” – Episode 44
Written by Voicebox Productions
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Galvatron: Your attention, men. Before you watch this, I strongly suggest you turn on the lights in here.
Snow Cat: Hey, uh, how’d you do that?!
[Transition]
Blonde Girl: Ladies and gentlemen, introducing in the red corner, Rodimus and Hot Shot!
Rodimus & Hot Shot: Hahahaha…
Redhead Girl: And in the blue corner, their opponents, Mirage and the giant big thingy!
Mirage: Would everyone rise and bow down to the greatest warrior of all time…
Tidal Wave: I am Tidal Wave!
Hot Shot: What?! That monster is Tidal Wave?!
Rodimus: Don’t be intimidated, Hot Shot.
Mirage: Are you ready, my friend?
Tidal Wave: Transform!
Mirage: That’s right, friends, the old and the new me!
Rodimus: Looks like it’s showtime.
Hot Shot: Let’s do this, Rodimus!
Girls: Let the virtual games begin! We have a winner!
Hot Shot: Hey! No way! We hardly even touched ’em!
Rodimus: Yeah.
Tidal Wave: Hey, did somebody get the number of that bus? Tidal Wave….
Blonde Girl: Would you please give it up for the winners of flight A, Rodimus and his grimmy partner Hot Shot! Oh yeah, I hope you don’t thik I was picking favourites or anything.
Redhead Girl: You can have your scrawny old Hot Shot. Personally, I’ve got my eye on Galvatron.
Q-2: What’s going on?!
Q-1: It’s some sort of virtual training program the Autobots play inside their barracks!
Q-2: Did you see the size of the old Tidal Wave?
Q-3: Huh. I hate to say this, but it’s like TV wrestling. You can’t tell what’s real and what’s not.
Q-2: Are you saying that the big brute Tidal Wave is a fake?
Q-3: Who knows?
Q-1: Then why are we wasting our time watching them?!
Q-3: Good question.
Q-2: I do so like to watch!
Q-1: I think this is all a bunch of frivilous fluff! Change the channel!
Q-2: No-ho-ho-hooo!
Redhead Girl: All right! Time to start the battle in flight B! In the red corner, it’s Cliffjumper and Landmine!
Blonde Girl: And it’s Optimus Prime and Wing Saber!
Cliffjumper: Hey Wing Saber, I sure hope you’re feeling lucky today, ’cause you’re going to need it. Heh.
Landmine: Zip it, Cliffjumper. You’ll only make them mad.
Cliffjumper: Don’t tell me to zip it, Landmine! And besides, I’m tough enough to back up my trash talk! Got it?!
Landmine: I got it.
Cliffjumper: Hey Optimus… You’re not planning on hurting us, are you?
Optimus: Try me!
Wing Saber: Let’s not fool around, Optimus. Let’s Powerlinx!
Optimus: Right! Optimus Prime!
Wing Saber: Wing Saber!
Optimus & Wing Saber: Powerlinx!
Optimus: Powerlinx complete! Meteor Storm Attack!
Cliffjumper: Hey! We’re not ready!
Landmine: Aaah!
Cliffjumper: Aaah!
[Transition]
Blonde Girl: Without further ado, it’s battle number three! And this one’s a heavyweight battle between Jetfire and Ironhide…
Redhead Girl: And it’s Scorponok and… Uhhh?
Q-1: Is everyone ready for this?!
Q-2: Meee!
Ironhide: It’s Alpha Q!
Jetfire: Relax, Ironhide! Alpha Q’s not programmed to fight. This’ll be a sinch.
Ironhide: But…!
Q-1: So, ready to wrestle? Hahaha.
Scorponok: Don’t poke me. Can’t you see I’m trying to concentrate here, Alpha Q?
Q-2: Hehehe.
Jetfire: Okay, Ironhide. It’s go time.
Ironhide: Uhh. Ironhide!
Jetfire: Jetfire!
Ironhide: Powerlinx! Ironhide, Powerlinx! Urghh. Ready or not, here I come!
Scorponok: Bring it on!
Scorponok & Ironhide: Aaaahh…!
Ironhide: You have enough yet, huh? Aaah, uggh! Aww, come on, Scorponok. Is that all you got?
Scorponok: Ha, ha… A wise guy, eh? Well, let’s see you handle this!
Ironhide: Whoaaa!
Ironhide & Scorponok: Urgghhh…
Blonde Girl: Okay folks, this might take a while, so let’s move on to our next battle.
Redhead Girl: Yeah!
[Transition]
Q-3: But when’s it my turn, hmmm?!
[Transition]
Redhead Girl: The excitement never stops as we get set for our fourth battle! Introducing in the blue corner, the rookie Sixshot and his brother Shockblast!
Blonde Girl: Up against the always tough clone Autobots, the Infernos! The old and the new!
Shockblast: Just hearing your name, Inferno, makes me want to smash in your mainframe!
Sixshot: Shockblast, I can’t believe what a wicked job they did putting you back together again. Right down to the last digital detail.
Shockblast: Would you quit your yapping?! Errrr…
Sixshot: It warms me inside to know that you’re back in action, bro. And here I thought this day would never come.
Inferno & Roadblock: Whenever you’re ready, ladies, because we’re waiting!
Shockblast: So am I.
Sixshot: Easy, fellas. We got all day. Say, why don’t we start off by shaking hands?
Shockblast: My brother the moron.
Sixshot: Well?
Inferno & Roadblock: Aaaahh!
Sixshot: Shockblast, why did you go and do that for, bro? And here I was hoping to have a nice, clean fight. Haha.
Blonde Girl: Okay folks, time to go to our other battle still in progress.
Snow Cat: Jeepers, Demolishor. Looks like some kind of training exercise is going on here.
Demolishor: Yeah, looks exciting. Huh-huh-hoo-hoo.
Snow Cat: Well, hello good lookin’! So what do you want us to do?
Blonde Girl: You two have been invited to join in the greatest tag team tournament ever!
Snow Cat: Aww, that’s too much like work, but then again, maybe there’s some nifty prizes! And the competition looks pretty lame… Hahaha!
Prowl: Huh? Take a look, Downshift, it’s those two Decepticon doofuses. If we Powerlinx, we can take care of them in no time flat, pal.
Downshift: They might be doofuses, but they’re still Decepticons.
Prowl: Whaa? Gimme a break. (On-going underneath other dialogue) You’ve gotta be kidding! I could take them with half my hydraulics shut down!
Snow Cat: Wow, it almost looks like they’re married.
Redhead Girl: It looks like this battle’s not going to happen! So while they argue about their differences, whaddya say we start the next round! Introducing in the red corner, we have Constructicon Maximus and Bruticus Maximus! And in the blue corner, Superion Maximus! Oh, and Constructicon and Bruticus brought along a few of their friends with them!
Constructicon & Bruticus: Transform!
Constructicon: Transform! Powerlinx! Constructicon Maximus!
Bruticus: Transform! Powerlinx! Bruticus Maximus!
Superion: Transform! Transform! Powerlinx! Superion Maximus!
Constructicon: Hghhh.
Bruticus: Hnnn.
Superion: Aaah.
Bruticus: You might want to consider surrendering, Superion Maximus, because we have you totally outnumbered! Heh, heh!
Constructicon: What’s the matter, cat got your tongue?!
Superion: Hrrrrgh.
Redhead Girl: Gentlemen! Start your servos!
All three: Hrrrrgghhh…!
[Transition]
Mirage: I love the smell of fried circuit boards in the morning.
[Transition]
Scorponok: Scorponok, attack!
Ironhide: Aaaah! Nice try Scorp-o-nuts, but it’s too little, too late!
Scorponok: Aaah!
[Transition]
Jetfire: Way to go, Ironhide! Looks like one down!
[Transition]
Prowl: Remember, Downshift, stick to the plan.
Downshift: Plan…?
Prowl: Powerlinx! Prowl!
Downshift: Downshift!
Prowl & Downshift: Powerlinx!
Prowl: Prowl, Powerlinx complete!
Downshift: Wait just a second… Hey, how did I end up down here?
Snow Cat: Well, do they want to fight us or not?
Demolishor: Who knows? Heh, heh.
Snow Cat: Hey, hang on. Didn’t they just Powerlinx? So why don’t we, Demolishor?
Demolishor: Hh. You’re so smart, Snow Cat!
Snow Cat: Yeah! It’s a gift! Snow Cat!
Demolishor: Demolishor!
Snow Cat & Demolishor: Powerlinx!
[Transition]
Snow Cat: Uhh, Demolishor? I don’t think this is right.
[Transition]
Blonde Girl: Okay, it’s now onto the second battle in flight A. Would you all please give it up for Rodimus and Hot Shot, the winners from our very first round of competition! Against the big cheese himself, Optimus and Wing Saber!
Wing Saber: All right, Optimus-sir! Let’s Powerlinx!
Optimus: Right. Optimus Prime!
Wing Saber: Wing Saber!
Optimus & Wing Saber: Powerlinx!
Optimus: Powerlinx complete! Well, this should be short and painless!
Rodimus & Hot Shot: No way, Optimus-sir!
Optimus: That’s my name! Now, are you men ready?
[Transition]
Optimus: Well don’t just stand there!
[Transition]
Sixshot: So, it looks like we’re up against you boys next, huh?
Shockblast: Yeah!
Ironhide: Look, it’s Shockblast!
Jetfire: Relax, Ironhide! It’s only a virtual Shockblast. Remember, this is only a training program.
Ironhide: Oh yeah, I keep forgetting that.
Shockblast: Aaah… Let me at those losers!
Sixshot: Take it easy, bro.
Jetfire: Okay, Ironhide. You ready?
Ironhide: Yeah… suuure.
Jetfire: Jetfire!
Ironhide: Ironhide…
Jetfire & (a nervous) Ironhide: Powerlinx!
Jetfire: Jetfire, Powerlinx! Yahh… Aaargggghhh… huh? Aaah, aaah, aahh…
Sixshot: Heh. Yeah, they don’t call me Shockblast’s little bro for nothing. If you boys are looking for more, there’s plenty where that came from! Later!
Jetfire: Ugghhh!
[Transition]
Ironhide: Jetfire… Jetfire!
Jetfire: I’m all right.
[Transition]
Snow Cat: Boy, and I thought I was stupid!
Demolishor: Yeah, so did I! Huh-huh-huh-huh…
Snow Cat: So uh, who we up against next?
Blonde Girl: Your next opponents are waiting in the staging area to your left, gentlemen.
Snow Cat: Uh, let’s say we have a look-see.
Superion: Hrggh! Hrggh!
Bruticus: Hahahahahaha! Aaah. Raggh! Yaah!
Superion: Urgghh! Raugghh!
Constructicon: Yaaah!
Superion: Aaah! Ahhh… Ugghh!
Constructicon: Ha, ha, ha, ha! Hahahahaha!
[Transition]
Bulkhead: Aw, gee whiz. I never saw that comin’.
[Transition]
Optimus: Yaah-aaaahh!
Hot Shot & Rodimus: Ohhh…
Optimus: Hahahahaha!
Hot Shot: Urgghh.
Rodimus: Ohh…
Optimus: You boys wanna go again?
Hot Shot & Rodimus: Ughh…
Rodimus: Hot Shot! Let’s Powerlinx!
Hot Shot: Right!
Rodimus: Rodimus!
Hot Shot: Hot Shot!
Rodimus & Hot Shot: Powerlinx!
Rodimus: Rodimus, Powerlinx! Ugh. Rrrghhhh…
Optimus: Huh?
Optimus: Aaargghhhhh…
Rodimus: Ughhhh…
Optimus: Nice right hook, Rodimus. Yahhrghhhhh…!
Rodimus: And don’t you go around thinking it was a lucky punch either, Optimus!
Snow Cat & Demolishor: Hahahahahahaha…
Demolishor: Gee, I wonder what the winner gets.
Snow Cat: Who knows, maybe old Galvatron will give us a little Energon boost. Hahahahaaa.
Blonde Girl: There’s your competition, boys!
Galvatron: Not you two simpletons!
Snow Cat: Hhh! Galvatron! And look, he destroyed two of our program clones!
Demolishor: Maybe us next!
Snow Cat: Then again, maybe we can take out some of our pent up frustration on him!
Demolishor: Snow Cat, you twit, Galvatron can hear you!
Snow Cat: Ahhh-aaahh, I mean how much pent up frustration could two meek and loyal soldiers have anyway? Hehehe. Right, Galvatron?
Demolishor: Yeah, we couldn’t ask for a better commander.
Constructicon & Bruticus: Hahahahahaha!
Constructicon: Boy, that was easier than changing an AI chip! Hahaha — huh?
Optimus: Let’s turn it up a notch!
Bruticus: Bring it, Optimus!
Constructicon: Yeah, anytime, Prime!
Superion: Waste them, Optimus!
Optimus: Watch me!
Redhead Girl: The second match in flight B has Constructicon Maximus and Bruticus Maximus versus Optimus and Omega Supreme!
Demolishor: Ughh!
Snow Cat: Aaah!
Galvatron: You morons. I search every nook and crannie in the base and where are you? Playing this mindless virtual training program!
Demolishor: But Galvatron!
Galvatron: And… you have the gull to attack me?! How dare you!
Snow Cat: Aaaaahh!
Demolishor: Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Constructicon & Bruticus: Hahahahahahaha!
Optimus: Time to teach you soldiers some respect!
Constructicon: Haa! Tough talk, Optimus! Now let’s see you back it up!
Optimus: I am your leadeeeeer….! I am Optimus Prime.
Bruticus: Ugghh… ughhh… Ughh!
Constructicon: Aaah!
Optimus: There’s more where that came from.
Constructicon: Yeah, uh, we catch your drift, Optimus-sir.
Redhead Girl: Yes! The virtual training games get more intense with each battle! And now it’s time for the semi-finals!
Sixshot: Let’s win, bro, but let’s try not to embarrass them… all right?
Shockblast: Huh?
Hot Shot: Huh? What?!
Rodimus: Just ignore him, Hot Shot.
Shockblast: Enough talk! Time to transform!
Sixshot: Transform!
Rodimus: Whoa!
Sixshot: Woohoo-hoo!
Shockblast: Shockblast attack!
Hot Shot & Rodimus: Ughh!
Sixshot: How ’bout we test your reflexes?
Hot Shot & Rodimus: Aaah!
Rodimus: Hghh. Transform! Hop on, Hot Shot! Give ’em all ya got!
Shockblast: Ggghh. Aah, aaah.
Sixshot: You’re mine! Ugghh!
Shockblast: Aaah —
Shockblast & Sixshot: Ugh!
Rodimus: Transform!
Sixshot: Would — you get offa me, you big — lug! Ugh!
Shockblast: Aaah! Ughh. You little brat!
Sixshot: And this is the thanks I get for trying to help my big brother. I’ve had it. No more Mr. Nice Guy.
Shockblast: Ugghh! Aaahh!
Hot Shot & Rodimus: Whoa!
Sixshot: No one betrays me, not even inside this mindless game.
Rodimus: Hush…
Sixshot: You mind buttin’ out?
Hot Shot: Aaaah! Aaah!
Rodimus: Stop it!
Sixshot: You want more?
Hot Shot & Rodimus: Argghhh!
Rodimus: Hot Shot! He’s just a program inside this virtual training game… If we use our internal spark, we can block the pain, cause he doesn’t exist!
Hot Shot: I’m trying…!
Rodimus: Hot Shot, let’s… Powerlinx!
Hot Shot: Hot Shot!
Rodimus: Rodimus!
Hot Shot & Rodimus: Powerlinx!
Hot Shot: Hot Shot, Powerlinx!
Hot Shot: Ugh.
Sixshot: No… You should be immobilized!
Hot Shot: You don’t realize the true power of Powerlinxing! Ugaaahh!
Sixshot: Aaaaaaahhhhh…..!
Demolishor: Ohhhh….
Snow Cat: (Yodels in an injured state.)
Blonde Girl: It’s nothing personal, sir, but would you mind clearing out of this battle ring right now?
Galvatron: What?!
Starscream: It would appear that your next opponent is Optimus Prime.
Galvatron: Huh! There is no way I’m playing this childish little game. I’m going home.
Starscream: Yessir!
Blonde Girl: But you can’t go!
[Transition]
Galvatron: Where are my obedient minions?!
[Transition]
Both Girls: And now it’s time for the final virtual battle!
Rodimus: You made the finals, Optimus-sir.
Optimus: Was that ever in doubt?
Omega Supreme: Let’s do this, Optimus. Omega Supreme.
Optimus: Hhgh!
Rodimus & Hot Shot: Huh?!
Optimus: Transform!
Omega Supreme: Transform!
Optimus: Optimus Prime!
Omega Supreme: Omega Supreme!
Optimus & Omega Supreme: Powerlinx!
Optimus: Powerlinx complete!
Both Girls: And the victory goes to Rodimus and Hot Shot!
Optimus: What?!
Redhead Girl: Omega Supreme and Optimus forfeit the win because they both stepped out of the ring!
Blonde Girl: Sorry guys, but rules are rules.
Rodimus: Heh, heh, heh, heh, hahahahaha…
Hot Shot: Hmm?!
Redhead Girl: And now it’s time to present the Virtual Training trophies to our winning team!
Both Girls: Congrats!
Hot Shot & Rodimus: Heh, heh, heh.
Both Girls: Please give it up for Rodimus and his cute training partner, Hot Shot!
Hot Shot & Rodimus: Thank you!
Optimus: Huh! Nobody told me about any ridiculous rules!
[Transition]
Both Girls: Bye for now! See you back here soon!
[Transition]
Blonde Girl: The winning team not only gets a set of handsome trophies, they also get something even better!
Redhead Girl: They get the chance to battle our special guest warrior!
Hot Shot: Special guest warrior… Like who?
Unicron: Eghhhh…. Rauggghh! Yaaaaargghhh!
Hot Shot: It’s… it’s…
Rodimus: Unicron!
Hot Shot: Gee, he sure is puny.
Hot Shot & Rodimus: Ugh!
Unicron: Unicron, transform! Ugh. Yaaah!
Hot Shot: Ughh.
Rodimus: Hot Shot!
Unicron: Ghghh!
Rodimus: Are you okay, Hot Shot?!
Hot Shot: Yeah.
Rodimus: You ready?
Hot Shot & Rodimus: Transform! Errrrrrr….
Q-1: Are you serious?! This is how the Transformers sharpen their battle skills?!
Q-2: By playing a silly game?!
Both Girls: It’s bye-bye for now! Till next time!
Q-3: I don’t understand their fascination.
Q-2: And they’ve done it for eons!
Q-1: Oh, please! They’ve been battling since the dawn of time!
Q-2: Why can’t we all just get along?!
[Transition]
Hot Shot: All right! We did it, Rodimus! We beat the game! I can’t believe we beat the game! Huhhh…
Kicker: You Autobots and your dumb games. I guess we’re more alike than I realized.
[End]
Episode Notes
-I’m referring to this episode as episode 44, even though it’s not counted as that in Superlink because, well, that’s how it is.
-Demolishor is not performed by Alvin Sanders here.
-The announcer girl says the Decepticon combiners brought along a few friends, but didn’t Superion also?
-When Superion announces his name, the line should’ve started a little later, as his mouth does not move.