Transformers: Armada
“Mars” – Episode 36
Written by Terry Klassen and Ward Perry
Transcription by Brandon Williams

–
Narrator: The war between the Autobots and the Decepticons rages on as they struggle to retrieve the prized Mini-Cons. The side who wins is the side that collects the most. And if the Decepticons prove victorious, then Megatron and his corrupt Mini-Cons control the universe. The Earth’s only chance for a peaceful cosmos is for Optimus Prime and the Autobots to destroy their enemy. Now, get ready for a new battle.

[Transition]

Rad: What’s his problem?

Carlos: No clue, dude.

Alexis (VO): Starscream had a big problem. He was unable to bring down Megatron. And now he’s angry. He had joined the Autobots with the specific mission of destroying Megatron. But his goal wasn’t shared with the Autobots. They didn’t care.

Rad: He stopped.

Carlos: Maybe he’s gonna puke up his lunch.

Alexis: Carlos!

Starscream (VO): What am I doing here? I’m wasting my time following the orders of Optimus Prime and the others. I must get to Megatron soon… or perish.

[Transition]

Rad: Hey Alexis, where are ya going?

Carlos: And what’re you doing?

Rad: Hey, that’s dangerous!

Carlos: Yeah, Starscream is a little out to lunch right now. Uh, look out!

Alexis: Oh, relax. Hey, Starscream!

Starscream: Leave me alone.

Alexis: Come on, Starscream. I know why you’re upset.

Starscream: Yeah, it’s all about the Mini-Cons.

Alexis: Hmmm?

Starscream: I want to be left alone now.

Alexis: Jeepers. You go out of your way to try and help somebody — and all they do is bite your head off.

Rad: Are you okay, Alexis?

Carlos: Yeah, what’s going on?

Alexis: I’m fine, you guys. But I don’t think Starscream is. He’s gonna do something drastic.

Rad & Carlos: Wha?

Cyclonus: Ooohahahaa, hooohoo! Megatron looks a little testy today, huh?

Demolishor: Do you blame him? The Autobots got away with all the Mini-Cons after the last battle. Remember?

Thrust: Any of you ladies going to do any work today or are you just going to stand around chatting with one another? If we’re short of Mini-Cons, then you’re the ones responsible for building the spaceship! Now why don’t you get to work!

Cyclonus: Huh?

Demolishor: Hmmm.

Cyclonus: Hey, just when we had something really good to gossip about. Hahahaha.

Thrust: Ugh. Useless fools.

Sideways: Hahahahaha…

Thrust: Who’s there? Show yourself.

Sideways: What a pitiful commander.

Thrust: I know you’re there!

Sideways: Hahahaha… You’re too foolish to realize that the Requiem Blaster’s power’s no more than a tiny blip compared to the power that’s available in this universe. Foolish Decepticon.

Thrust: Sideways! It’s you. Just what are you trying to say?

Sideways: The sword, the shield and the gun. Think about it. The three powers complete one another.

Thrust: The three powers? It’s true. The Star Saber, the Skyboom shield and the Requiem Blaster. These Mini-Con teams will be very powerful if they were united. Wait a minute. If they were united. A sword… a shield… and a gun. Do the three unite to become one? Wait! Sideways, why have you told me this? Sideways? Perhaps Sideways is just trying to trick me. On the other hand, if what he told me about the Mini-Cons is really the truth, and the sword and the shield are captured… And they’re combined with the gun… Then what will happen? Hahahahahahahaha! We will destroy the Autobots with our new found power! Hahahahaha! Hahahahahahaha!

Optimus: What is it? What’s going on?

Rad: We found another Mini-Con, Optimus. It’s a new one.

Optimus: A new Mini-Con!

Carlos: You serious? Where is it, Alexis?

Alexis: Hang on. I’m trying to find out, but something’s not right.

Rad: What do you mean?

Alexis: Well, it doesn’t look like Earth’s surface.

Starscream: The moon? Is it at the Decepticon base where Megatron is?

Alexis: No, it’s not. It looks like it’s —

Rad: Totally bizarre. What is it, Alexis?

Alexis: It… It looks like Mars! That new Mini-Con’s on Mars.

Billy: Mars?

Optimus: I’m not surprised.

Fred: But that’s in outer space.

Carlos: Hey, guys, can I come with you, please?

Scavenger: We can’t go into outer space.

Hot Shot: For starters, neither of us can even fly.

Optimus: But we can’t abandon the Mini-Con.

Billy: Sometimes you just gotta go.

Fred: I gotta go.

Rad: Scavenger’s right, you guys. The only ones that can make the trip to Mars right now are Jetfire and Starscream.

Jetfire: Yeah. I can handle this on my own. Outer space, no probs. All I have to do is find the Mini-Con before the Decepti-dummies, right?

Optimus: Hmmm…

Carlos, Billy & Fred: Hmmm?

Hoist: Here ya go.

Starscream: Wait a minute! I’m going too. Megatron will be there.

Jetfire: Oh, who said you could come? Why don’t you just follow orders for once, huh? You’re just gonna slow me down, anyway.

Hot Shot: C’mon, Jetfire, why don’t you take ‘im?

Jetfire: I don’t need the trouble.

Carlos: Last one there is a rotten egg!

Jetfire: Okay, guys. I am ready to roll. Aaah…

Alexis: Is there something wrong?

Fred, Billy & Carlos: Hey! Hahahaha! Hello!

Alexis: Yikes.

Rad: At least they’re wearing helmets this time.

Autobots: Hahahahahaha…

Carlos: C’mon, you gotta take us with you, man!

Billy: Yeah, we wanna go into space too!

Alexis: Quit wasting time. Get out of his way.

Billy: Is that a no then?

Fred: Aww please?

Rad & Alexis: No!

Carlos: Awww, but I wanted to be like a rocket man, man.

Jetfire: Yeah, uhh, sorry to disappoint you.

Billy: Well, at least bring us back a souvenir.

Fred: Like a Mars rock.

Jetfire: Yeah, I’ll… see what I can do. Huh?

Starscream: Out of my way! I’m taking off first.

Jetfire: Hey! Who does he think he is!

Megatron: Have they left planet Earth yet?

Thrust: Yes, sir. They’ve sent Jetfire and Starscream to intercept the Mini-Con.

Megatron: And Starscream has the Star Saber with him, does he not?

Thrust: I have sent Tidal Wave to greet them. As soon as they get near the base, he will attack.

Megatron: If what you have told me is true, Thrust, the three power weapons can combine into one, unleashing the ultimate power of the universe. And vanquishing the Autobots forever.

Thrust: Yes, sir. Victory will soon be ours.

Megatron: Yes… This is about to get interesting.

Jetfire: Man, where did that nutcase Starscream get to now? Ah, well, forget him. The Mini-Con is what matters now. There you are, little one. Off you go! Find that Mini-Con as quickly as you can. We’re all counting on ya, and the clock is ticking for all of us. Still, I wish I knew where Starscream was. And there’s a storm coming in.

Alexis: Come in, Jetfire. Do you read me? Over.

Jetfire: Yeah, I’m reading you but you’re breaking up real bad.

Alexis: We haven’t got anymore data for you, except for the Mini-Con is there. You’re on your own.

Jetfire: I’m not making out what you’re saying.

Alexis: Come again? Over.

Rad: What did he say?

Alexis: He’s too far away.

Fred: Err, uh… Somebody — help me!

Rad: What’s the problem?

Fred: My nose is itchy… and I can’t scratch it!

Rad: So why don’t you take your helmet off?

Alexis: Oh, would you goofs be quiet. You guys shouldn’t have put on those spacesuits in the first place.

Fred: But if I can’t touch my face, how am I gonna eat my lunch? Huh?

Optimus: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

Starscream: Megatron! Where are you? Megatron!

Tidal Wave: Tidal Wave is here!

[Commercial]

Jetfire: What’s that?

Starscream: At last I have you, Megatron! Tidal Wave? It’s you? Alone?

Tidal Wave: Starscream…

Starscream: You’re not the one I’m looking for! Where is Megatron?

Tidal Wave: Give me the Star Saber!

Starscream: Never!

Tidal Wave: Transfooooormmm!

Rad: Ah, wonder what’s going on with Jetfire.

Alexis: I sure hope he’s okay.

Hot Shot: I hope Starscream’s not doing anything stupid, either.

Kids: Huh?

Hot Shot: I mean… Heh, heh. I hope he’s doing okay.

Optimus: Errr…

Starscream: I don’t need your sympathy. Now leave me alone. Even the Mini-Cons have abandoned me now. I don’t even know why I’m here, anyway. All I ever wanted was a chance to defeat Megatron. Is that so much to ask for? They don’t understand what it’s like to be a Decepticon. (VO) Still, I’m gonna make a stand right here on this planet. I will find Megatron wherever he may be, and I will crush him. Errghh… huh? Huh?

Jetfire: Is this where he is? There you are. I’ve been looking for you. Here. Give me your hand.

Starscream: Just save it. I want to be left alone.

Jetfire: Still as stubborn as ever, I see.

Starscream: Your mission is to rescue the Mini-Cons! So do it!

Jetfire: Look, why don’t you get up off your butt and do your job like you’re supposed to. Help me get that Mini-Con back to Earth.

Starscream: That’s your job. My purpose here is to bring down Megatron! You can’t possibly understand the humiliation that I’ve suffered!

Jetfire: You know what, you’re right. I don’t understand. And I don’t want to eihter!

Starscream: What do you think you’re doing to me?

Jetfire: I’m busting ya for the crime of disobeying orders. Sorry.

Starscream: You can’t be serious! Get these off me now!

Jetfire: No can do. Like I said, you’re busted. I’ll decide everything you do from this point on. It’s for your own good and you know it.

Starscream: You’ll pay for this.

Jetfire: I’ve placed Starscream under arrest and I’m bringing him in from Mars immediately.

Rad: And the Mini-Con?

Jetfire: He’ll have to wait.

Sideswipe: What? Are you nuts? We’re gonna need the Mini-Con to–

Optimus: That’s enough. Go ahead and bring Starscream in right now. It’s time that he learned a little lesson. Isn’t that right, kids?

Alexis: Aheheheh…

Jetfire: C’mon, Starscream. Quit struggling.

Starscream: Would you just leave me alone?

Jetfire: Listen to me, I know the Decepticons are used to fighting for themselves, but Autobots aren’t like that. We function as a team. If one member isn’t obeying orders, then the whole group will fall apart. Right? Everyone has to do their part. Everyone has to help just the same.

Starscream: I must have Megatron.

Jetfire: You know what, I’ve had enough. I’m taking you back to Earth and don’t try to stop me.

Starscream: Hold on a sec!

Jetfire: Save your breath.

Starscream: I see him.

Jetfire: Who, Megatron?

Starscream: No, the Mini-Con!

Jetfire: What?

Starscream: Over there. On that asteroid.

Jetfire: I see it!

Starscream: You’re going to rescue him, aren’t you?

Jetfire: Lemme tell ya my personal motto. Victory is mine! Ignite! There it is! Okay, Starscream, when we fly over, you grab it.

Starscream: You’re asking me? Okay.

Jetfire: Careful…

Starscream: Get me a bit closer.

Jetfire: Ah! Decepticons!

Tidal Wave: Tidal Wave. They have the Star Saber and Skyboom shield with them.

Thrust: Haha! It’s working!

Megatron: Good. Let’s move out. C’mon.

Thrust: Uhhh, Megatron-sir? Wait a minute! He’s gone… He’s so difficult sometimes.

Tidal Wave: Heh, heh! Hehehehahahaha!

Jetfire: I can’t move like this!

Starscream: Then take these cuffs off me before they get us both killed!

Jetfire: If I could do that, I would’ve done it already.

Starscream: Fire!

Jetfire: Huh?

Starscream: I said fire! We Autobots will protect you! The Decepticons will use you as a tool for war! Trust me!

Jetfire: Keep talking, Starscream. That’s the way.

Starscream: Don’t become a Decepticon! Save yourself! Take it down! Fire! Fire!

Tidal Wave: Blaaarggh!

Jetfire: Do it, Starscream! Nice work. Rescue mission accomplished.

Starscream: Heh?

Jetfire: What is it?

Starscream: Megatron! Now I will finish him off for good!

Jetfire: No chance. We have to turn back.

Megatron: Stand and fight, you coward.

Starscream: I will fight him.

Jetfire: No way. We’re leaving.

Thrust: This is it! The three powers!

Jetfire: What’s going on?! What is this?

Megatron: And now the moment we’ve all been waiting for!

Alexis: Jetfire! Starscream! What’s the matter — what’s happening out there?

Billy: Was there another storm?

Alexis: No, I think something else happened.

Hot Shot: What, Decepticons?

Jetfire: Jetfire here. Over.

Alexis: What just happened?

Jetfire: Everybody relax. We had some trouble, but we’re okay now. We managed to rescue the Mini-Con and we’re on our way back to you.

Alexis: And Starscream?

Jetfire: Who? Starscream? Uhhh, I don’t know anyone by that name.

Starscream: Very funny.

Jetfire: Hahahaha!

Hot Shot: Heh, heh.

Thrust: Megatron, come in. Megatron, where are you? Megatron!

Megatron: Where am I? What just happened?

Tidal Wave: Tidal Wave has arrived.

Thrust: I’m sorry, sir. The huge explosion of energy blasted us. It’s true, the uniting of the three weapons creates tremendous power.

Megatron: Aaahh…

Optimus: A mysterious power, you say?

Jetfire: That’s right.

Optimus: Until we know more about it, let’s keep this to ourselves. We wouldn’t want to cause unnecessary alarm.

Jetfire: Yes, sir. I’ll have a word with Starscream and let him know not to say anything.

Optimus: Good.

Red Alert: You got shot up pretty bad, Starscream.

Starscream: Aah, it’s not a big deal.

Red Alert: Spare me the tough guy act.

Carlos: So what was outer space like?

Billy: How was Mars?

Fred: Can you scratch your nose in outer space? Wait, do you have a nose?

Jetfire: Right here, brainiac. You shouldn’t be so eager to show off whatcha don’t know.

Carlos: So, did you bring back a souvenir?

Jetfire: Uhhh, sorry, guys. The souvenir shops on Mars were all closed.

Carlos, Billy & Fred: Awwww!

Fred: Will they be open tomorrow?

Alexis: Starscream.

Starscream: Yes? What is it?

Alexis: I hear you convinced the Mini-Con to join the Autobots. I know you like the Mini-Cons. Which is why, in my opinion, you belong on the Autobots’ side.

Starscream: Spare me. My mission is to bring Megatron down, that’s it.

Alexis: Hey, Carlos!

Carlos: Huh? Hey, what do you got there?

Fred: I got a rock! I got a rock!

Alexis (VO): Bringing down Megatron might be Starscream’s personal mission, but that day, he showed us that he really cared after all. I believe the day is coming soon when Starscream will join the Autobots. For good. Forever.

[End]