Transformers: Robots in Disguise
“Volcano” – Episode 16
Written by Tom Wyner
Transcription by Brandon Williams

–
Kelly: Ah, what a beautiful island. Really. It’s so relaxing and peaceful. I love it here.

Kid: Let’s go in that steaming pool, mom!

Kelly: Huh?

Mom: That’s not a pool, dear. It’s a volcanic hot spring.

Kid: C’mon! Let’s go in!

Mom: Maybe after lunch, dear. Now let’s go find your sister.

Kelly: Volcanic hot spring? That’s wonderful! They say hot springs are very good for your health. The hot water will be so relaxing, I can hardly wait! Heh, heh, heh! Ahhh… Oh. It’s not hot at all. Excuse me, but I thought this was supposed to be a hot spring. This water’s only luke warm.

Hotel Worker: Really sorry.

Kelly: What’s the problem? Why don’t you just turn up the temperature? Listen, I know what a hot spring’s supposed to feel like and this one isn’t nearly hot enough. Now there’s gotta be a way to adjust the temperature in here… Or do I have to call the manager?

Worker: Honestly ma’am, I don’t know how to adjust it, but I’ll go ask at the front office.

Kelly: Good. I’m not here for a bath.

Gas Skunk: Megatron said there’s some kind of huge underground energy source on this island, but it looks like there’s nothing much down here but a bunch of smelly old rocks.

Slapper: So what kind of energy are we looking for?

Gas Skunk: I don’t know, but there must have been an awful lot of it to have shown up on this geo-scan energy detector.

Dark Scream: Yeah, but why us? Why not send the Decepticons?

Gas Skunk: Megatron never sends them out on the tough missions. You know that.

Slapper: Those good for nothin’s… They get all the easy ones.

Dark Scream: While we get all the dirty work. It just isn’t fair anyway.

Slapper: Where’s Sky-Byte? Why isn’t he here down with us?

Gas Skunk: He’s on guard duty with Scourge just incase the Autobots show up.

Slapper: What now, it’s a dead end! There must’ve been a cave-in. Those rocks are blocking the tunnel. We can’t get through.

Dark Scream: Don’t worry, my laser will blast those rocks out of the way.

Gas Skunk: Go Screamer, blast ’em into sub-atomic particles!

Dark Scream: Center laser!

Gas Skunk: Look, another tunnel.

Slapper: Way to go, Dark Scream! Maybe it’ll lead us to the energy we’re looking for. Let’s go take a look.

Gas Skunk and Dark Scream: Huh?

Slapper: What’s going on?!

Gas Skunk: Ah, go away! Get off of me!

Slapper: Get outta my face, you little pests!

Dark Scream: We won’t find anything with these things around.

Gas Skunk: Let’s scare ’em off with our attack!

Slapper: Right laser!

Gas Skunk: Left laser!

Dark Scream: Center laser!

Slapper: What’s making that rumbling sound?!

Gas Skunk: Ain’t my stomach!

[Transition]

Tourist: Does it always do that?

Hotel Worker: Not always, but there are minor eruptions from time to time. Nothing to worry about, sir. Huh?! What are they doing here?!

[Transition]

T-AI: I’ve got Predacon and Decepticon activity!

Optimus: What are they up to? What’s the location, T-AI?

T-AI: They’re on Montrose Island!

Optimus: Hmmmm, what could they want there?

T-AI: Let’s see. It’s a volcanic island and there’s nothing there but a luxury resort.

Optimus: Megatron probably thinks that he can tap into the energy inside that volcano. If he tries, it will erupt and wipe out the resort. Contact the Spychangers and have them meet me in transit.

T-AI: No problem. Spychangers, this is a battle protocol alert! Do you copy?

WARS: We’re on it, T-AI. We’ll meet Optimus at quadrant five.

T-AI: Hot Shot, do you copy?

Hot Shot: I’m all over it, and under it too.

T-AI: Crosswise?

Crosswise: Transmission received. I’m on my way.

T-AI: REV?

REV: I thought you’d never ask!

Optimus: Keep the comm line open. I’m outta here.

Spychangers: Spychangers, reporting for duty!

Optimus: T-AI, I’ve hooked up with the Spychangers. Raise the global space bridge Carribean link.

T-AI: No problem!

[Transition]

Slapper: Yeargh! I think it’s finally over.

Gas Skunk: We still haven’t found any energy.

Dark Scream: What’s that?

Gas Skunk: Something’s coming down the tunnel. What is that, molten lava?

Slapper: Let’s get outta here!

Dark Scream: It’s catching up to us!

Slapper: We can run a lot faster in beast mode!

Gas Skunk: Right!

[Commercial]

Kelly: I wish they’d turn up the temperature. It’s barely warm. Huh? Well, what do you know? They finally took care of it. It’ll get nice and hot now! Oh, this is heavenly. Now I can really relax and enjoy myself. How lovely. Thanks for turning up the temperature. It’s nice and hot.

Hotel Worker: I really didn’t do anything, but I’m glad you’re enjoying it.

Kelly: But if you didn’t turn it up, someone must have, because the water’s getting warmer by the minute. What’s going on?

Hotel Worker: I have no idea, but have a nice day!

Optimus: Optimus Prime, transform!

Sky-Byte: Good, Optimus and the Spychangers have arrived. I have a score to settle with that four-alarmed freak. Leave him to me.

Scourge: Why should I?

Sky-Byte: Why? Because I was battling Optimus while you were still in stasis.

Scourge: Not good enough, Predacon. When Optimus Prime is eliminated, it will be by my hand, not yours.

Sky-Byte: No! Optimus is mine! Welcome, Optimus. I’ve composed a Haiku especially for this occassion.

Blasted into dust Optimus Prime is destroyed Day of reckoning

Optimus: I don’t think so.

Sky-Byte: You’ve defeated me many times, but today you’re the one who’s going to lose.

Scourge: Enough talk. Barrage Attack! Ha, ha, ha, ha!

Sky-Byte: I already told you Optimus was mine, Scourge. How dare you interfere with my attack.

Scourge: I was getting bored with your babbling, Predacon. I have no time for this.

Optimus: I’ve got to put out this fire. Deploy water missiles, maximum dispursal!

Scourge: Hmmm… Not bad.

Sky-Byte: His Autobot tricks won’t save him. I’ll send him into oblivion!

Optimus: If you two insist on fighting us, name the time and the place. But not here and not now. That volcano is already unstable. If it is hit by a missile cell or a laser beam, it’s likely erupt, which would endanger the lives of everyone on this island. A battle here is too risky.

Scourge: Why should I care what happens to the humans? I am a Decepticon warrior. My only concern is defeating my enemy.

Sky-Byte: Well, we finally found something to agree on. Human suffering is of no consequence. Their lives are meaningless. This battle will take place whether you like it or not and you and your friends will be destroyed!

Optimus: We have no choice. We’ll have to fight and protect these people at the same time.

[Transition]

T-AI: Oh no… Optimus, we’ve got a problem! Something’s happening inside the volcano! The lava’s about to overflow. If you use the Blizzard Storm, you might be able to freeze it before it gets out.

Optimus: Understood, T-AI. Hot Shot, we’ve got to keep them away from that volcano. You and the Spychangers keep them busy while I try to stop that lava flow.

Hot Shot: You heard what the boss said…

WARS: Let’s do it.

Hot Shot: Transform!

WARS: Transform!

Ironhide, Crosswise and REV: Transform!

Hot Shot: Circle sneer, go!

Scourge: What’s this, more Autobot tricks?

Sky-Byte: So you want to play, do you? Very well. Shark Spike!

Scourge: Sword of Fury!

Optimus: Optimus Prime, battle mode! I’ve got to freeze that lava. Blizzard Storm! Ah!

T-AI: Optimus, what happened? Are you all right? The lava’s still rising. Use the Blizzard Storm!

Optimus: T-AI, we have an even bigger problem. The Decepticons.

Mega-Octane: You’re finished, Autobot. Twin lasers!

Hot Shot: Hot Shot, fire blaster!

Armorhide: Plasma morter!

Sky-Byte: Tsunami Blaster!

REV: Transform! REV, fire blaster!

Scourge: Laser Assault!

Crosswise: Hit ’em fast and hit ’em hard.

Rollbar: Cannon laser!

Ro-Tor: Ro-To gun!

Movor: Wing lasers!

Hot Shot: Mirage, keep Scourge away from Optimus. Transform!

Mirage: Right. I’m on it.

Scourge: You’re not the one I want.

Mirage: What the? Optimus, heads up.

Optimus: This had better work, or that lava will melt everything in its path.

T-AI: Optimus, we’re running out of time! The volcano’s gonna blow!

Optimus: Be with you in a minute, T-AI!

Scourge: Too late, Optimus. You’ll never stop it now. Barrage Attack! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. One more salvo will finish you. This island will be your grave, Optimus Prime.

WARS: Got him, Optimus. Go ahead.

Optimus: Thanks, WARS. Target: center of the lava. Targetting acquired. Blizzard Storm! Bullseye.

T-AI: The lava’s been frozen into ice! It worked, Optimus.

Optimus: Check your monitors. If there’s a pressure build up, there might be more lava on the way.

T-AI: You’re right, Optimus. We still have a problem.

Optimus: What?

T-AI: Your ice plug will stop in eight minutes, then there’ll be nothing to stop the lava from covering the island!

Optimus: Thanks for the info, T-AI.

Scourge: Out of my way! So Optimus, back for more, I see. Why did you oblige? Laser Barrage!

Optimus: Pulse cannon!

[Transition]

Gas Skunk: If we don’t go faster, my tail’s gonna melt!

Slapper: That stuff will turn us all into slag!

Dark Scream: Keep running!

[Commercial]

Mega-Octane: Transform! Armorhide, Rollbar, switch to robot mode.

Armorhide: Transform!

Rollbar: Transform!

Mega-Octane: Ro-Tor, Movor!

Ro-Tor: Ro-Tor, transform!

Movor: Movor, transform! Laser blaster!

Ro-Tor: Right!

Mirage: You’ll have to do better than that!

Mega-Octane: Twin Lasers!

REV: They’re still coming!

WARS: All right, that’s it.

Mega-Octane: Decepticons, combine!

Commandos: Yessir!

Ruination: Combiner mode completed.

WARS: I don’t like the looks of this.

Ruination: Ruination, multi-rapid fire!

Hotel Worker: We’ve got to evacuate! Keep moving!

Kelly: Wow, this is great. And it looks like I have it all to myself. How wonderful.

Sky-Byte: I’ve been inspired to write a new Haiku.

Scourge and Optimus What an opportunity Two birds with one stone

Tsunami Blaster!

T-AI: Optimus, the ice plug’s gone! The volcano is going to erupt!

Optimus: How long do we have, T-AI?

T-AI: Two minutes or less!

Sky-Byte: Actually, your time just ran out. Shark Missile! Now that’s what I call a celebrity roast!

Scourge: Nothing can stop it now.

Optimus: Take out Ruination first. Then we’ll deal with the lava.

Spychangers: Roger!

Hot Shot: Transform! You heard the man, let’s go get ’em!

Spychangers: Transform!

Hot Shot: The bigger they are…

WARS: The harder they fall.

Hot Shot: Timber! Oohh, that must’ve hurt.

WARS: That takes care of Frankenstein, now what about that lava?

REV: We’ve gotta make sure to keep the lava away from those people. We’ll use the rocks to build a blockcade.

[Transition]

Kelly: Ugh, this water’s so hot that I feel like a boiled potato! They turned the temperature up way too high. Would it be so embarassing to go ask that nice young man to turn it down? Since I was the one that asked him to turn it up in the first place. Maybe it’ll cool down…

Ruination: So the Autobots have build a blockcade to protect the humans. Anything they can build I can destroy. And then that lava will cover the entire island. Ruination, rapid fire!

Optimus: Ruination! Why did you destroy that barracade? The lava will melt you along with everything else!

Ruination: Speak for yourself, Autobot. I will survive.

Sky-Byte: In a few seconds, Optimus Prime will be prime roast. How delicious!

Scourge: Sky-Byte! You were aiming at me aswell as Optimus.

Sky-Byte: What? How can you say such a thing, Scourge? I was shooting at Optimus, not you.

Scourge: If you ever try that again you’ll regret it.

Sky-Byte: You dare threaten me!

Dark Scream: That was close!

Gas Skunk: Why is it so hot all of a sudden?

Optimus: Scourge is right. There’s no way to stop it!

Hot Shot: Optimus, we don’t have to stop it, just change where it’s headed.

Optimus: Of course, but how, Hot Shot?

Hot Shot: The Spychangers will carve a channel to the ocean with our Inferno Blast.

Optimus: Do it, and quickly.

Hot Shot: Roger!

Gas Skunk: At least we’re safe now. Aaaah!

Slapper: It’s following us almost as if…

Dark Scream: …It’s alive!

Sky-Byte: Running away again? Is that all the three of you can do? I order you to turn around and fight, you cowards!

Dark Scream: That’s easy for you to say, Sky-Byte. You can fly! My wings are only good for gliding. On the other hand, maybe if I tried really hard…

Sky-Byte: Forget about the lava! Attack the Autobots!

Slapper: Slapper, terrorize!

Gas Skunk: Gas Skunk, terrorize! Left laser!

Slapper: Right laser!

Scourge: The Spychangers are concentrating only on the Predacons. Well here’s a little surprise for them. Barrage Attack!

Hot Shot: Tighten up the formation, guys. Inferno Blast in ten seconds!

Sky-Byte: Your Barrage Attack almost hit us, Scourge.

Scourge: What goes around comes around, Sky-Byte.

Hot Shot: Crosswise, take point for Inferno Blast.

Crosswise: Roger.

Hot Shot: Energize.

Spychangers: Roger!

Hot Shot: Inferno Blast activating. Pedals to the metal, guys. That lava is right behind us and we’ve gotta cut this ditch all the way into the ocean.

Crosswise: Those mountains are gonna slow us down. I’m going around ’em.

Optimus: Gyro Strike!

Ruination: What’s happening? All… my systems… are shutting… down…

Optimus: Status report!

Hot Shot: We’re doing fine. WARS, what’s our ETA?

WARS: 19.2 seconds.

Crosswise: We’ve never used the Inferno Blast for this long before. My engine’s going red line.

Mirage: We can’t quit now, we’re almost there. On your mark, WARS.

WARS: Ten seconds to peel off. Alternating left and right peel off. Now!

Gas Skunk: We did it! We beat the lava!

Sky-Byte: Incoming! Dive! Dive!

Scourge: Have a nice swim, Predacons.

[Commercial]

Optimus: Thanks for your help, gentlemen.

Hot Shot: Optimus, the Spychangers will always be ready for action. Whenever you need us.

Optimus: I couldn’t have done it without you.

Mirage: We were happy to help. Spychangers…

Crosswise: We’re the best! Right, guys?

Spychangers: Yeah! We did it!

Kelly: Just a little bit longer. I may never get another chance to relax in a volcanic hot spring, I should make it last as long as I can. OWWWW! Okay, I think I’ve relaxed long enough.

Hotel Worker: Huh? Yow! Oooh! Oooh! Oooh! It’s boiling hot!

Kelly: Thanks for turning it up for me. Bye now.

Hotel Worker: Miss! Miss, hey… Are you all right? Is there anything I can do for you?

Kelly: Does your kitchen have a walk-in freezer?

[End]