Transformers: Robots in Disguise
“Commandos” – Episode 15
Written by Marc Handler
Transcription by Brandon Williams

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Scourge: Megatron, we’re ready to move. Now you will be able to see the new Commandos in action.

Megatron: If they take out this target then soon we will take this planet. But these Decepticons better do the job, Scourge.

Scourge: They will strike like a fist of steel. Nothing can stop them. Mega-Octane has twin laser cannons. Ro-Tor has sting blades. Armorhide has plasma morters. Rollbar is all-terrain terror.

Rollbar: Wahhooo!

Scourge: Movor, air attack. Together they’re all action. Overwhelming power, applied with absolute and devastating precision and all to serve you, Megatron.

Megatron: Hydro-electric dams. These humans are completely dependent on the energy they produce.

Scourge: That’s why we’ll destroy their dams one at a time.

Megatron: They’ll have to surrender… on our terms… And of course you know what our terms will be now, do you? Absoulte domination of this planet!

Scourge: We will carry out your plan with unwaivering dedication. Hail Megatron!

Megatron: I like the way you operate, Scourge. As for you, Sky-Byte…

Sky-Byte: Ugh?

Megatron: There must be something you can do to keep busy while the Decepticons are reeking glorious destruction.

Sky-Byte: Ergghhh.

[Transition]

T-AI: The dam they destroyed was in a remote location. I don’t know why they chose it.

Optimus: It was a practice run. A successful one. The next target will be a damn many people are dependent on.

T-AI: I’ll do a data search for dams near population centres.

Optimus: Send patrols out to protect them. This is a powerful enemy. I’ve never seen commandos destroy a target so forcefully. Autobots, full alert!

T-AI: No problem. Calling all Autobots! Emergency alert, please respond!

[Transition]

Dark Scream: This is heavy!

Gas Skunk: Quit complaining.

Sky-Byte: Have you lost your minds? What do you think you’re doing?

Gas Skunk: What do you think? Duh! We’re here to help Scourge with his new plan.

Sky-Byte: So he gets the glory while we get the trash detail, is that it? I have a better idea…

Slapper: What? Act like Autobots?!

Gas Skunk: Autobots?! I can’t do that goodie-good junk they do, just forget it!

Sky-Byte: Good guys are overrated. It’s easy to do those things. We’ll get Scourge and the Autobots to destroy each other and we’ll be the only ones left!

Slapper: Whoa, that means we’ll be the best team.

Sky-Byte: Yes, if we’re the only team that does follow. Now don’t get overheat your little toad brain, all right? We must keep this a secret from Megatron. We’ll dress up like Autobots so no one will know.

Slapper: We’ll be in disguise? Cool!

Sky-Byte: We’ll wreck Scourge’s plan and blame the Autobots so he’ll go after them. And we’ll sit back as the bolts start flying!

Gas Skunk: That’s really sneaky, Sky-Byte, but we’ve gotta figure out what kind of costumes we’re gonna wear.

Slapper: Well, if we’re gonna dress up like Autobots, then I’m gonna look like Optimus Prime! Yeah, that’s it!

Gas Skunk: No, I’m gonna be Optimus Prime! I’ll have a red helmet and a siren…

Dark Scream: I’ll be Optimus Prime, I want him!

Sky-Byte: Stop this nonsense! If you had any brains you’d be dangerous. I, of course, shall be Optimus Prime.

Slapper: Well, ain’t that just Prime.

[Transition]

Lady: Well, this is it. The biggest dam in the whole region.

Koji: Yeah, it’s humungous!

Lady: When the water goes through, it turns the turbines and sends electric power to thousands of people. That electricity helps us to run our televisions and computers.

Koji: So the hotel that we’re staying at gets its power from here, right?

Lady: Yes, the whole city does. And lots of other cities, too. Without dams like this, we really would be in the dark.

Koji: Can we go inside?

Lady: Sure. I’ll show you the turbines and you can see how everything works.

Koji: All right!

X-Brawn: Been on patrol all day and all I’ve seen are lizards and catcus… And not too many of them. Oh well. Whoa, what have we here? X-Brawn, transform!

Scourge: Scourge, transform!

Mega-Octane: Mega-Octane, transform!

Armorhide: Armorhide, transform!

Rollbar: Rollbar, transform!

X-Brawn: Eat plasma, ya varmints!

Slapper: Aha, they’re doin’ it, Sky-Byte. Should we put our costumes on now?

Sky-Byte: Not so fast. Let them do a little damage first, then we can make our move.

Slapper: Hey, hey!

Mega-Octane: Twin Lasers!

X-Brawn: Yeehaw! Whoa there, partner. You’re gonna dent my fenders.

Scourge: Loser. You’re going for a swim.

X-Brawn: Whoa, I ain’t a lasso, y’know! Okay, I can handle this. Broadstroke… Swim, swim, swim, swim, swim, swim, swim… uh oh. Right, again. Swim, swim, swim, swim, swim! Man!

Scourge: Problem solved. I want precise execution of this operation.

Three Commandos: Yessir!

Slapper: You gotta admit, Scourge has a cool attitude.

Dark Scream: Yeah, and I like that whirling over his head thing… What do you call that?

Gas Skunk: I dunno, but I’m taking notes. I wanna learn that.

Sky-Byte: Fools, are you going to admire him or stop him?!

Rollbar: All clear. C’mon back!

Koji: Oh no! It’s the Decepticons! Man, I’ve gotta tell Optimus Prime! Optimus, listen!

Optimus: I’m here. What is it, Koji?

Koji: I’m at the Sherman Dam near the Los Bogus desert resort. There are Decepticons popping up all over!

Optimus: I’ll send the Autobots immediately. We’ll get you out of there. For now, lay low.

Koji: Uhh… right!

Optimus: But X-Brawn’s over there… How did they get past him?

T-AI: I don’t know. He’s offline. I can’t reach him.

Optimus: Send Sideburn and Prowl. Have them use the global space bridge.

T-AI: No problem.

Optimus: I’m on my way.

[Transition]

Scourge: Remember, move with maximum stealth. Strike with maximum power. Destroy the dam, now!

Mega-Octane: Understood.

Sky-Byte: You want to wreck the dam and get all the credit and I don’t think so! Autobots, attack!

Slapper: BAAAHHH! Hey, you bad guys!

Dark Scream: You won’t get past us Autobots!

Gas Skunk: We’re protecting this dam!

Mega-Octane: We’re under fire!

Ro-Tor: Look out!

Slapper: Ha! Hey, I like being a good guy, as long as I can blow things up.

[The Morons begin to yell and scream to taunt the Decepticons.]

Sky-Byte: Silence! I’m Optimus Prime, I told you that!

Slapper: Whoa, check him out. He really went all out.

Gas Skunk: We’ve got four Optimus Primes here.

Dark Scream: It’s kind of… embarassing, you know!

Mega-Octane: Autobot scum!

Scourge: No, I’ll take care of this diversion. Execute the mission.

Slapper: Whoa, we really ticked him off and he’s coming this way! On second thought, you guys can be Optimus Prime!

Sky-Byte: Exit, stage left!

Gas Skunk: Don’t leave without me! Wait up!

Sideburn: There’s the dam!

Prowl: But where are the Decepticons?

Scourge: Right here.

Prowl: You’re under arrest.

Scourge: Fools. Ambush… shoot at my Commandos? That’s a big mistake.

Sideburn: What? We didn’t fire a shot!

Scourge: Now you’re leaving. Sword of Fury!

Sideburn: Sideburn, transform!

Prowl: Prowl, transform! Fusion Flame!

Sideburn: Gotcha now!

Scourge: Barrage! You are scrap.

Sideburn: Not so rough! Dude… We gotta get back up there!

Prowl: This is the stroke they teach at the academy.

Sideburn: So much for police training, huh?

Prowl: We need to upgrade our underwater instruction.

X-Brawn: Howdy hombres!

Sideburn: What are you doing down here? I thought you were on patrol, bro.

X-Brawn: A little run-in with an extra large Decepticon. Mean sucker, too.

Prowl: We need a new underwater procedure manual.

Sideburn: Can we just drop the police routine for once?

X-Brawn: ‘Fraid we’re gonna have to wait this one out, armanos.

Sideburn: We must have some options.

X-Brawn: Sure we do! I spy, with my little eye, something beginning with ‘f.’

Sideburn: Oh, I hate that game. How about we play a round of Old Maid instead, huh?

Prowl: Don’t encourage him, X-Brawn, y’know next thing you know he’ll be down here playing Go Fish!

Sideburn (very sarcastically): HA HA HA HA HA!

Mega-Octane: Commander Scourge, mission accomplished. We’re in place. The bombs are set. Just give the order.

Scourge: Excellent. Megatron, ready to destroy the dam.

Megatron: Good. Now I will let the humans know exactly what they’re up against.

Sky-Byte: Quickly, Dark Scream. Install this transmitter on the bomb detonator.

Dark Scream: All right!

Sky-Byte: Ha, ha, ha, ha. Won’t Scourge be surprised when he finds out that I’ve taken control of all of those bombs!

Optimus: Optimus Prime, transform! Prowl… Sideburn… Where are you? Come in! T-AI, Autobot Brother status.

T-AI: They arrived at the dam, but I lost contact right afterward.

Optimus: Ugh, now I see. Dark Scream, touch this dam and you and your Predacons are history!

Dark Scream: You and your Auto-chumps are the ones who are going to get slugged! Scourge is looking for you, Optimus! Ha, ha, ha, ha!

[Transition]

Man in background: Make me a wealthy man, hooo!

Kelly: C’mon, baby needs a new pair of shoes! Now be good to mama!

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, it’s showtime!

Kelly: Hmmmm… What’s the show?

Megatron: Listen and listen carefully. You pitiful humans are entirely dependant on electrical energy. Without it, you are completely defenseless. I will destroy this dam in three minutes, then I’ll destroy every dam on Earth until you surrender totally! You enjoy the show.

Kelly: But… What about my vacation?!

T-AI: T-AI to Optimus, urgent report!

Optimus: What is it?

T-AI: The dam’s going to explode. Megatron planted pulsar bombs with a remote detonator.

Optimus: Yes, I see that. One of them is the main relay. But which one? I’ve got to get closer. Transform! No good. I can’t reach it. We need another way to stop it.

Megatron: 8… 7… 6… 5…

Kelly: This guy is out of his mind!

Megatron: 4… 3… 2… 1! Now you will witness my power. Scourge, you may destroy the dam.

Scourge: What?

Mega-Octane: Isn’t it supposed to blow up?

Scourge: Don’t even go there…

Sky-Byte: It didn’t go boom, I wonder why. Don’t you just hate it when that happens?

Megatron: Why is that dam still there?! Destroy it!

Man: Is this like a joke or something?

Kelly: Yeah, I think it really is some kind of show.

Megatron: Scourge, you fool, do you realize how bad this looks? I’m striking fear into the hearts of the humans! Now what’s going on?!

Scourge: Uhhh… Technical glitch. Sorry. Please stand by.

Sky-Byte: Or you can let me take command. I’ve got it wired, Megatron. Just say the word and I’ll blow that dam sky high!

Megatron: Now you’re talking my language. Have a blast, Sky-Byte.

Sky-Byte: Am I a genius or what? He’ll never trust Scourge again. The shark is back on top!

Megatron: As I said, that dam is mine. In five seconds it will destroyed and you humans will beg for mercy! 3… 2… 1!

Sky-Byte: Zero.

Optimus: Yaahhh!

Sky-Byte: Noooo!

Megatron: Someone will pay for this! They are all going to feel my wrath!

Kelly: I like that line. “They are all going to feel my wrath.” Who wrote this script, somebody’s finacee?

Sideburn: What is that thing?

Prowl: A remote device. What could its function be?

X-Brawn: Hmmmm… Could we use it to order some barbecue?

Sideburn: Why don’t you push the button and find out. Maybe it’ll have a cute delivery van.

Prowl: Police manual, section one. Never push a button unless you know what it does.

X-Brawn: Right…

Sideburn: Whatever.

Megatron: I can’t believe I trusted you, Sky-Byte! You made me look like an idiot! It’s terrible, people are laughing at me!

Sky-Byte: He came out of nowhere like lightning! It was Optimus Prime!

Megatron: Ah! Not Prime again! No, I can’t stand it! Ughh, I’ve got this under control. Scourge, you’re going to blow up that dam now, understand? I don’t care how. Blast it with your lasers, burn it with your flame throwers, rip it apart with your bare hands! Just make it your way!

Scourge: We can do that.

Mega-Octane: Twin Lasers!

Koji and Lady: Ah!

Optimus: I’ve got to stop them.

Koji: Power’s going out!

Kelly: C’mon, I’ve gotta win something! Let’s go baby, you can do it! Yeah! AHHHHH!

Scourge: I’ve been waiting for you, Prime.

Optimus: Then you’ve been waiting for trouble!

Scourge: Decepticons, get ready to take out the Autobot Brothers!

Commandos: Yessir!

Optimus: You’ll never pull this off.

Scourge: Ah, but we will.

X-Brawn: They’ve busted the dam!

Sideburn: Somebody throw me an inner tube!

X-Brawn: We’ve got a greeting party here, amigos. Get ready to fight.

Sideburn: Fight? I can barely stay afloat!

Optimus: Autobots, consider yourselves a wrecking crew! ] Prowl: You got it!

X-Brawn: Little bit wet for a wrecking crew, but we get the idea, Optimus.

Sideburn: If I wreck this thing we’re both gonna sink!

Prowl: You’re headed for the junk pile, buddy!

Scourge: Movor, Ro-Tor, air attack!

Movor: Yessir!

Ro-Tor: Yessir!

Sideburn: Man, they’ve got air support. We need some back up! Hello!

Midnight Express: Midnight Express, transform!

Rapid Run: Rapid Run, transform!

Railspike: Railspike, transform!

Movor: Movor, transform!

Ro-Tor: Ro-Tor, transform!

Sky-Byte: Ah, all in one place for tonight’s main event.

Gas Skunk: Yeah, ringside seats. Who’s got popcorn?

Slapper: I wonder who’s gonna win… And who’s going to be the big loser!

Sky-Byte: If they’re both losers that makes us the winners! All we have to do is fire indiscriminately [and] we’re bound to take them out! They’ll never know what hit them. Sheer poetry!

Dark Scream: I think I like it. Wipe out the Autobots and the Decepticons at the same time! Yes!

Gas Skunk: You’re really twisted, Sky-Byte. It’s inspiring.

Sky-Byte: Megatron respects power. A bold move like that is exactly what he likes. Two birds with one stone!

Gas Skunk: There’s a whole lotta birds down there and they’re all sitting ducks!

Scourge: Sword of Fury! I’ll have to take out this dam myself. Full power.

Optimus: It’ll never happen!

Rapid Run: We’re outnumbered… And these guys have got some major fire power.

Railspike: Perhaps…

Rapid Run: Link up!

Trains: Bullet Fusion Mode!

Rail Racer: Rail Racer, triple power, online!

Sideburn: All right, Rail Racer, let’s put together some major diesel power!

Scourge: Decepticons, begin the counter attack… Now.

Mega-Octane: Yessir. Combine.

Ruination: Ruination, awaken!

Sideburn: Man, those guys are able to combine!

X-Brawn: Big time.

Sideburn: Their’s is five bots but Rail Racer’s only got three.

Prowl: Three Bullet Trains are worth ten of them!

Ruination: Rage Laser!

Rail Racer: Rail Jets!

Ruination: Double Demolition! Airborne Assault!

Sideburn: Check this out.

Prowl: That bot can jump.

X-Brawn: Those are some mean lookin’ blades!

Sideburn: It looks like we better bring in a little fire power. Right?

X-Brawn: Couldn’t agree more!

Prowl: Let’s do it!

Ruination: It’s over.

X-Brawn: Not so fast, pard.

Sideburn: Have a taste.

Prowl: And double for me!

Rail Racer: All right! We’re back in action! Ultra Blast!

Scourge: Erghhh!

Megatron: Scourge, abort mission! Now!

Scourge: Yes sir.

Optimus: Well done, Rail Racer.

Rail Racer: Glad to help.

Sky-Byte: I really hate those Autobots!

Gas Skunk: Uh, I think they just heard ya.

Optimus: Thanks to your courage under fire the humans are safe. Good job, team.

Koji: Hello Optimus! Hey!

Optimus: Everything’s fine. Thanks for your help, Koji!

Kelly: I hit the jackpot! It’s not my fault if your stupid lights went out, I won! Look! Ah! That’s just wrong! Hold on, it’s a mistake. At least let me have one free try. Let’s face it. It’s hopeless. I’m living under a curse.

[Transition]

Megatron: Your great action team, they looked like rank amateurs out there and they made me look like a fool infront of the humans! I don’t like looking like a fool, Scourge.

Scourge: I have dishonoured myself, but I swear I will destroy them.

Sky-Byte (thinking): Swear all you like, Scourge. Your great reputation has just fizzled and I’m about to make planet Earth my personal domain!

[End]