Transformers: Energon
“Crash Course” – Episode 34
Written by Voicebox Productions
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Dr. Jones: (Clears throat.) Hi, Kicker! Greetings from Cybertron! We thought we’d send you a little message and say “hi.” We just arrived here on the Miranda II! The Energon grid has been working perfectly, so now we have a strong network defense in place. And I’m so very pleased. Not long ago it was just a crazy dream, but thanks to the Autobots, that dream came true! Oh, Kicker, I’m so proud of you. I’m so proud of my whole family in these really tried times and you’ve contributed so much! Good job, son, and thank you! Sorry I get all — …
Miranda: Yes, dear, we know how proud you are, especially of Kicker.
Sally: I don’t miss you at all, bro. You can stay away as long as you want.
Miranda: Just remember to eat properly and take your vitamins, honey!
Sally: And say hello to Misha for me, okay?
Dr. Jones: And please don’t stop looking for Energon! We need a constant supply to maintain the grid.
Kicker: Erggggghhh…! Hgh!
Misha: Why’d you turn it off, Kicker? What’s wrong? Don’t you want to see the rest of the message?
Kicker: Not really. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Enough mushy stuff, already… Huh?! Hey, quit fooling around, Misha! I’m serious! Huh?!
Misha: Hehehehe…
Kicker: Sally!
Sally: Hey there, big brother!
Kicker: What’s up — what are you doing here?
Sally: Just never you mind, Kicker. I have business of my own to attend to.
Kicker: Who brought you?
Hot Shot: Sorry, Kicker. I guess you’re not the only one with special missions.
Kicker: Huh? What are you talkin’ about, anyway? Oh well, you’re here now, so make yourself at home. But if you wanna stay, you gotta work. Because we’re still on the lookout for Energon and the Decepticons, too.
Sally: Don’t sweat it, bro. I may be your little sister, and I know you don’t believe it, but I do know how to take care of myself.
Kicker: Yeah, but things could get dangerous and I don’t want you to get hurt.
Hot Shot: Everybody’s gotta stay alert. The Decepticons have been destroying planets, so they mean business. They’ll do anything to get the Energon — anything at all.
Kicker: They’ll even destroy planets… Man…
Hot Shot: Kicker, lighten up. It’s not all bad news. We’ve got this planet taken care of. There’s a new Energon grid being put in place right now.
Kicker: Yeah? How come nobody told me about that?
Hot Shot: Well, maybe you should come to the morning roll call.
Kicker: Huh…
Scorponok: This is the drop site. Bombs away!
Snow Cat: (Singing) I’m gonna get me some of that sweet Energon… (Yodels.) Eeegh. What’s going on?! Is it an earthquake?
Demolishor: It’s Megatron! He’s on the throne again!
Snow Cat: What has he been eating?
Demolishor: It’s the Energon. He’s crazy for it! He sits around in the dark because he doesn’t want to waste any of it.
Starscream: Megatron, we’re feeding Unicron with Energon, as you requested. But we’ll need a lot more to complete the project, sir.
Megatron: Just finish it! Hgh… Hgghh… I’m tired of all this waiting around. If it weren’t for those accursed Autobots…
Shockblast: Why blame the Autobots when you’re the one to blame?
Megatron: I heard that.
Shockblast: Huh?
Megatron: Urgh!
Shockblast: Aaah! What did you do that for?!
Megatron: Shockblast!
Shockblast: Y-yes…?
Megatron: Fight me!
Shockblast: But — but why, Megatron?
Megatron: Because you think that you are a better leader than me? Come on, prove it.
Ironhide: I’ve got the size and the power, but I still feel like something’s missing. Optimus, Hot Shot and all the other Autobots seem to know how to handle themselves, but — I still feel like a rookie. I just need a chance to prove myself. Darn! What do they know that I haven’t figured out yet?
Hot Shot: Ironhide…
Ironhide: Hot Shot?
Hot Shot: Have you got a few minutes to spare? C’mon, I wanna show ya something. We’ll be back in a little while!
Jetfire: I wonder where they’re going. Hey, I could use some R&R. Why don’t we follow ’em?
Kicker: That’s a great idea. Let’s do it, Jetfire. After all, we can’t let them have all the fun now, can we?
Jetfire: All work and no play makes me one bored Autobot! Transform!
Misha: Kicker?
Kicker: See ya, Misha!
Misha: Hhh!
Kicker: Hold down the fort till we get back!
Misha: Why do I have to stay?! I like fun too! With everyone gone, it sure is quiet here.
Arcee: Here’s why.
Misha: What’s that? Did you find a new planet, Arcee?
Arcee: Well, not exactly new. Everyone else seems to know about it.
Misha: But why is everyone going there, huh?
Arcee: I guess you could call it their own personal playground. Mmm-heheheh… Boys will be boys!
Misha: Mm-heheheh…
Hot Shot & Ironhide: Transform!
Ironhide: Huh? Whoa, what is this place?
Hot Shot: Ohh-ho, you’ll see. It’s a great place to practice your driving skills, bud.
Ironhide: Driving?
Hot Shot: Yeah! C’mon, I’ll show ya.
Ironhide: Hot Shot, why do I have to practice my driving? Hey! Did Kicker say I was a lousy driver or something? Hot Shot… Awww, are we almost there yet?
Hot Shot: The starting line is just up ahead.
Ironhide: Starting line?
Hot Shot: Here we are, Ironhide. So, whaddya think?
Ironhide: Huh?! What is this?!
Sally: Hey everybody, we’re getting really close to the start of the very first Autobot Grand Prix. Now I know all of you have been wondering who’s got the fastest wheels in the universe. Well, today we’re gonna find out! My name’s Sally, and I’m joined in the announcing booth by Mr. Personality himself, Skyblast!
Skyblast: Thanks, Sally. It’s great to be here.
Sally: Oh, and by the way, this event is being broadcast live all across the universe. This sure is exciting, isn’t it, Skyblast?
Skyblast: You betcha.
Sally: Who do you think will win?
Skyblast: That’s a tough one.
Ironhide: Hot Shot, why didn’t you tell me you were gonna enter me into a race? The competition looks tough. I dunno if I’m ready.
Hot Shot: Relax, you’ll be fine. You’re as good of a driver as any of any of these guys. If you do the best you can, I’m sure you’re gonna make it to the winner’s circle.
Ironhide: Okay, if you say so.
Downshift, Prowl & Cliffjumper: Transform!
Prowl: Well, well, look who it is. Ironhide, shouldn’t you be up in the stands where you belong?
Downshift: Yeah, this race isn’t for rookies like you.
Cliffjumper: Give it up. There’s no chance you’re gonna be a high-performance machine like me.
Hot Shot: Ha, ha! I’m warning you guys, there’s a lot more to this kid than meets the eye. Right?
Ironhide: Huh? What?
Landmine: Transform! Once this race starts, it’s every bot for himself, so I hope you can handle it.
Ironhide: I can? Oh man, this is my one chance to show everybody what I’m really capable of.
Hot Shot: Hey Ironhide, the starting line is here. We go once around the planet and first one back wins.
Sally: All competitors get into vehicle mode and proceed to the starting line. The race is about to begin!
Hot Shot: Okay, you’re on your own! From now on, no more Mr. Nice Guy!
Sally: Autobots, start your engines!
Omnicons: Whoooooo! Yeaaah! (Various cheers.)
Ironhide: Dggh!
Sally: Racers, get ready! I’ll start the countdown. 3… 2… 1, go! They cleared the starting line. Hot Shot is out in front. Followed by Prowl, then Cliffjumper and Downshift. Bringing up the rear is Ironhide. He’s really gonna have to put the pedal to the metal if he wants to stay in this race.
Ironhide: Rats, I’m way behind! I gotta catch up with the rest of them.
Jetfire: Aww, man! The fun’s already started…
Kicker: A road race! Let’s get down there, I don’t wanna miss this! Hey, where’s Ironhide?
Jetfire: There he is! Right down there.
Kicker: Wow, he’s way out in the lead.
Jetfire: No… He’s in last place.
Kicker: In last place?!
Rodimus: Oh, Optimus…
Optimus: What is it, Rodimus? What are you so interested in?
Rodimus: Well, the bots have been working really hard on the Energon grid, and it’s done. So, well, they’re racing.
Optimus: Racing? Whose idea was that? Who authorized this?!
Rodimus: I did.
Optimus: Well, I guess it’s all right. But keep an eye out for the Decepticons. We don’t want to get caught with our guard down.
Rodimus: Hmm… Of course.
Sally: They’re really tearing it up out there! The lead racers are just past the first checkpoint. But they better keep it under control, because there are some dangerous curves up ahead! And Ironhide’s on the move!
Ironhide: Yeah! Eat my dust! This is it, I’m going for it. Nobody’s gonna beat me! Huh?! Oh, turn!
Sally: Oh no! Ironhide’s crashed into the wall!
Jetfire: He’s got guts, but no brains.
Kicker: I’m going down there.
Jetfire: No, wait! Kicker!
Ironhide: My onlink… It’s outta whack.
Kicker: Hghhh!
Ironhide: Huh?
Kicker: Ironhide.
Ironhide: Uh, hey, Kicker…
Kicker: I think you need a few more driving lessons. Unhh!
Ironhide: So what are you doing? Hey, I can repair this myself!
Kicker: C’mon, we’re a team. Now put it in gear and I’ll steer!
Ironhide: Well, yeah, but uh…
Kicker: Move it, or we won’t be able to catch Hot Shot!
Ironhide: Aww, all right.
Jetfire: Nice work, Kicker. He’s back in the race.
Bulkhead: Hey! Jetfire! Why don’t we make this race a little more interesting?
Jetfire: Let’s do it!
Bulkhead: Heee, this is gonna be fun!
Kicker: Hit the brakes when we go into the corner.
Ironhide: The brakes?!
Kicker: Just do it! And floor it on the other side. Okay, here we go!
[Commercial]
Sally: Things are really heating up! It’s no surprise that Hot Shot’s leading the pack, but don’t count those rookies out yet. Boy, those bots are really battling it out. As the old saying goes, “it ain’t over till it’s over,” and there’s still a lot more racing. But it’s great so far, right, Skyblast?
Skyblast: Oh, for sure.
Sally: Oh no! A wipe out!
Downshift: Urgg, urgghhh!
Prowl: Owwww!
Sally: There’s trouble on the track! Downshift and Prowl have just had a major crash!
Hot Shot: I wonder where Ironhide is. I hope he was able to steer clear of that accident back there.
Ironhide: Aww, we’re still waiting on the others!
Kicker: This isn’t over yet. Still have a chance, just stay focused.
Prowl: Are you okay?
Generic Bot: Uhhh, yeah, I’m fine. I’m just a little banged up.
Downshift: Well, if he says he’s all right, then I’m gonna get back in the race.
Prowl: What?! This is all your fault, you know.
Downshift: Hey, no way. Racing is a risky business. Transform. See ya, losers.
Generic Bot: Just leave me here.
Prowl: Okay, but you take care of yourself. Transform! I’m gonna get ya, Downshift! Come back here, ya cheater!
Kicker: Looks like there was a pile up. Now’s our chance to make our move!
Ironhide: Okay, what should we do?
Kicker: Look at Prowl. See how he’s sticking close behind Downshift? He’s avoiding the wind resistance by staying in the draft.
Ironhide: Ohh, I get it!
Kicker: Hey, it’s all downhill now. C’mon, let’s get past Prowl.
Prowl: Ironhide! Where’d you come from?!
Kicker: Do it, Ironhide!
Ironhide: Okay!
Prowl: Hey, what are you doing?! Whoaaaa!
Kicker: Sorry, but ya snooze, ya lose.
Prowl: Transform! Creep! I’m gonna get you guys! Aaaaaahh!
Bulkhead: Time to heat things up. Heheheh. Here we go. Transform! Let ‘er rip! Yaaaaahh!
Hot Shot: Incoming!
Landmine: Aww, great!
Hot Shot, Landmine & Cliffjumper: Aaahh!
Bulkhead: Hahahaha! Now that’ll sort ’em out!
Hot Shot: We’re stuck! We can’t drive over that!
Cliffjumper: I can make it.
Landmine: What?!
Cliffjumper: I’ll show ya. Watch. Transform! It’s time for a little off-roading! See ya!
Hot Shot: Wait! Come back!
Ironhide: Hey, Kicker…
Kicker: What?
Ironhide: This race is all ours now!
Kicker: Concentrate on the road, Ironhide. Haven’t you figured out what Hot Shot is trying to teach you through this race?
Ironhide: Uhh, what’s that?
Kicker: He wants you to use your power wisely. Think about what you’re doing before you act.
Ironhide: What do you mean?
Kicker: Well, like using your brakes. Be aware of the course and what the other racers are doing. That’s the only way you’re gonna win this.
Ironhide: You’re right! Huh?
Downshift: What happened to the road?! Ugh! Ugh! Ah!
Kicker: Okay, now’s our chance. Let’s get ‘im! Go for it, Ironhide.
Ironhide: Okay, hang on!
Sally: We’re coming up to the last stage of the race! Cliffjumper is in the lead, followed by Hot Shot, then Landmine. But what’s this? Is it Ironhide? It is! And he’s coming on strong!
Kicker: Make your move, Ironhide. Get past Landmine. Do it now!
Ironhide: Uh, why is everyone slowing down?
Kicker: It’s hard to see in the tunnel, so naturally everyone here is down. But this is where your big lights come in handy!
Ironhide: Hot Shot!
Hot Shot: Ironhide? You’re still in the race?
Ironhide: Yup, and thanks to you and Kicker, I’ve figured out how I’m gonna win this.
Hot Shot: Oh yeah? We’ll see about that.
Ironhide: Oh no! What is that?
Kicker: Don’t sweat it. Figure it out. You can handle this.
Ironhide: Okay, I’m goin’ for it…
Hot Shot: Good job! You woulda been a goner if ya hesitated.
Ironhide: I know.
Hot Shot: The finish line is just up ahead. See ya there!
Ironhide: You’re on!
Cliffjumper: Man, I wanted to go off-roading, but not this far off road. Oh, man…
Jetfire: What is taking them so long? Oh, here they come. All gun ports open! Fire!
Hot Shot: Ironhide! There’s some more obstacles headed this way!
Ironhide: Obstacles?! Why are they firing at us? Uhh — no! Whoa!
Jetfire: Second wave… Launch!
Optimus: Isn’t the race over yet?
Jetfire: Wah-huh? Uh, well, almost. I thought a little missile fire would make it more entertaining.
Optimus: Well, I hope you’re using blanks.
Jetfire: Oh, I am, sir.
Optimus: Good, then I think I’ll join in.
Jetfire: What?!
Optimus: Let’s Powerlinx, Wing Saber.
Wing Saber: Yessir.
Optimus: Optimus Prime!
Wing Saber: Wing Saber!
Optimus & Wing Saber: Powerlinx!
Optimus: Powerlinx complete! Try this on for size! Ha, ha, ha…
Jetfire: Go — get ’em, sir…?
Hot Shot: Hey Ironhide, there’s the finish line! Now it’s time to win this baby!
Ironhide: I hope you won’t take it to personal when I smoke ya and take the checkered flag.
Hot Shot: Yeah? In your dreams, buddy!
Sally: The first ones back to the stadium are Hot Shot and Ironhide! And here they come now!
Crowd: Yeaahh! Whooo!
Ironhide: I’ve made it this far, so I have to win this!
Hot Shot: Optimus!
Optimus: Your last obstacle is — me!
Hot Shot: Oh no, not again… Agghh! Transform! Ugh. Nice shot!
Kicker: What happened? It’s like I’ve been hit by a semi…
Ironhide: Kicker, get out. I can handle it from here, bud.
Kicker: Go for it.
Ironhide: Transform! Ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, aaaaahhh!
Optimus: Errrr-aagghh!
Ironhide: Aaaaah!
Hot Shot: Ironhide!
Ironhide: Aaah!
Optimus: Ha, ha. You’ll have to do a lot better than that!
Ironhide: Urghhh… Ugh.
Hot Shot: It’s time for you to focus!
Ironhide: Huh?
Hot Shot: Don’t think of Optimus as your commander anymore! Right now, he’s the enemy. Use all your power to bring him down any way you can.
Ironhide: Ughhh… I’ll do it!
Optimus: I’m warning you, Ironhide. I won’t hold back.
Ironhide: Gotta concentrate and figure out his every move. And use all my power.
Optimus: Aaaah!
Ironhide: I know, I can use his own weight against him.
Optimus: Yah!
Ironhide: I can do this!
Kicker: Yeah, you got ‘im, Ironhide!
Ironhide: Hot Shot, go for the finish line!
Hot Shot: What?!
Kicker: What are you saying?!
Ironhide: You deserve to win this race, buddy! You deserve it more than me. Now get going, okay?
Hot Shot: You sure?
Ironhide: Do it!
Hot Shot: Okay, I will. Transform!
Optimus: You’re letting him win the race? Are you — giving up?
Ironhide: I’ll beat you. I know I can.
Optimus: Ha, ha. You’ve already won, Ironhide.
Ironhide: Huh?
Optimus: You’ve learned a valuable lesson today. No matter what, your loyalty to your teammates will always pay off.
Ironhide: Yeah, I knew I did the right thing!
Optimus: But don’t let your guard down! Ugh!
Ironhide: Huh? Aaah!
Kicker: Ironhide!
Hot Shot: Oh no!
Sally: Something’s happening down on the track. Hot Shot was heading for an easy victory, but he suddenly stopped. It looks like Ironhide is out for good, and Arcee and a masked rider have come outta nowhere. They’re crossing the finish line, and they’re gonna win… Yes, they’ve done it! What an amazing turn of events. The Autobot Grand Prix has its first champion! Now let’s find out who this mysterious masked rider really is!
Misha: Hh. Heheh…
Sally: It’s Misha! Misha and Arcee are the winners.
Misha: We sure showed ’em, didn’t we?
Arcee: We sure did.
Optimus: Heh, so Misha and Arcee are the winners!
Hot Shot: Ha, ha! How ’bout that?
Ironhide: Who won? This race is all ours?
Kicker: Ugh. Well, it would’ve been if you hadn’t been so determined to show off for everybody.
Ironhide: Show off?
Kicker: Hahahaha!
Ironhide: Huh? Uhh, ha, ha, ha, ha!
Optimus, Hot Shot, Ironhide and Kicker: Hahahahaha!
Sally: Okay folks, let’s all have another big round of applause as we present our winners with the championship trophy!
Q-3: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
Q-2: Hehehehehe!
Q-1: Why are we laughing?!
Q-3: Because the Autobots are!
Q-2: It feels good! I like it!
Q-1: Then all is well!
Q-2: It must be!
Q-3: Our planet is safe! Perhaps we don’t have to worry anymore!
Q-2: How wonderful!
Qs: Hahahahahahahahaha!
Kicker: Hot Shot, get Sally home safely, okay?
Hot Shot: Of course I will, because if I don’t, I know you’re gonna kick me. And I’ve already got enough dents on me left over from the race.
Sally: It’s been fun hanging around with you, big brother. Let’s do it again sometime. Don’t be a stranger, huh?
Kicker: I won’t, but I want you to tell Mom and Dad not to worry so much about me.
Sally: Okay, we’ll let your girlfriend do all the worrying for us.
Kicker: Uh…
Ironhide: Kicker, what does that mean? Girlfriend?
Kicker: Uh, nothing! Nothing at all!
Sally: Catch ya later, bro.
Hot Shot: Transform!
Megatron: Ughhh… Ugh! Hahahaha!
Shockblast: Aaaaahh!
Megatron: Do you still want to challenge me, Shockblast?
Starscream: Shockblast can’t take much more of this. And we do need him to complete the project.
Megatron: That’s too bad. I was just starting to get warmed up.
Starscream: Hmmm… Mmmm…
Megatron: Very well. We’ll continue this tomorrow. Huh…
Shockblast: Maybe if I could see… It’s so dark! Ugh…
Dr. Jones: Oh, wow. What’s this? Hm… Huh?! Could it be? I’ve heard of an ancient temple where Energon was placed as an offering to the great warrior who once protected Cybertron. Is it possible? Could the ancient lifeforce be stirring? Is the legendary hero awakening to help us now? Aaaaahh! Yes, it is! Omega Supreme!
[End]
Episode Notes
-From this episode forward, Cliffjumper and Downshift are labelled as the correct characters.
-The previous episode was episode 32. This episode is 34. Episode 33 was skipped for unknown reasons.