Transformers: Armada
“Palace” – Episode 8
Written by Terry Klassen and Ward Perry
Transcription by Brandon Williams
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Rad (VO): Hi, my name’s Rad and I want to tell you about the Transformers, mechanical beings from another world. There’s the Autobots, the good guys, and the Decepticons. They’re all fighting over a tiny race of robots called the Mini-Cons, who crash landed on Earth thousands of years ago and they’re scattered all over the planet. The Decepticons want to collect them and use them to increase their power, but the Autobots will put a stop to that.
[Transition]
Rad (VO): There’s a story about a tribeswoman who was crossing the Sahara Desert years ago when she saw a strange metal object sticking out of the sand. She stopped and picked it up. Then, she travelled for miles, carefully storing it with her other belongings on her pack-camel. She brought it back to her village, and rumours started to go around about this strange metal object; rumours like it had special powers. Well, that story is said to be centuries old. But now, the race is on the find the desert Mini-Con.
Demolishor: Incoming bogey at ten o’clock. Locked on and firing.
Cyclonus: You idiot. Transform!
Demolishor: Halt! Who goes there? Ohhh… Cyclonus… It’s you.
Cyclonus: Yeah. What’s wrong, your sensors fried?
Demolishor: Did you locate the Mini-Con?
Cyclonus: Negative. I tell ya, I’ve got sand in my mouth, sand in my joints, I even have sand in places I’d rather not mention. But no Mi–
Demolishor: Well keep looking!
Cyclonus: Transform!
Demolishor: Hey, ya moron! What do you think you’re doing?
Cyclonus: Just giving you a little camoflague. You stick out like a sore thumb. Heh, haha. Later!
Demolishor: Errgh, I won’t forget this. Huh? Ugh! What in the world’s going on here?
Alexis: Haha.
Carlos: When the alarm sounds, that means a Mini-Con has been spotted.
Optimus: Begin launch sequence. Lift off!
Hot Shot: I’m right behind ya!
Red Alert: We have ignition.
Carlos: Ha, ha, ha, ha! Ha, ha, hahaha!
[Commercial]
Hot Shot: Come on! C’mon! Can’t a ‘bot get a little traction here?
Carlos: No, dude. You are never gonna get outta there in vehicle mode.
Hot Shot: Thanks, I needed that.
Optimus: Hot Shot! Our friends know more about the desert than we do. I think we should be well advised to take their advice in the future. Now let’s get to work, shall we?
Hot Shot: Yeah… right.
Carlos: And he says you better listen good!
Hot Shot: Yeah, whatever.
Demolishor: Oooh. I think I’ve got a clear shot.
Hot Shot: Oh, this is just great! Where are we supposed to start in this sandbox?
Red Alert: It looks like that we’ll have to start up a grid system, Hot Shot.
Optimus: Hit the deck!
Rad: High Wire!
Alexis: Vehicle mode won’t work out here!
Rad: Run!
Demolishor: Curses. I missed.
Red Alert: No Decepticons detected yet, sir.
Hot Shot: Keep your heads down.
Rad: Okay, guys. Let’s get moving. And find out who fired those shots.
Carlos: All right! Kick some ‘bot butt.
Hot Shot: Hey, I think I got it. I’ll bet you guys anything it’s Demolishor.
Optimus: Keep it down, Hot Shot! Do you want him to lock onto us?
Hot Shot: Hey, who cares? Grindor!
Optimus: Stay put, Hot Shot!
Demolishor: You’re mine, Autobots!
Hot Shot: Holy cow! He’s got us pinned down, sir.
Alexis: Huh? Over there!
Rad: Okay, I’ve got an idea, you guys. Someone we have to set up a diversion.
Alexis: Okay.
Carlos: You bet.
Rad: Carlos, no! Hold on, buddy!
Carlos: Relax.
Rad: Oh no, Carlos! We’ve gotta hurry. The dune’s sinking into a pit.
Alexis: Carlos, no!
Rad: Come on, High Wire.
Demolishor: Help me, Megatron!
Starscream: Megatron, Demolishor just relayed an SOS.
Megatron: What?
Hot Shot: Hey, listen. Do you hear that?
Red Alert: What happened to the kids?
Rad: Laserbeak… Go get help!
Optimus: I think it’s over. But let’s wait to be sure.
Hot Shot: I’m tired of waiting.
Optimus: No!
Red Alert: I’m with Hot Shot, sir. We must go find those kids.
Optimus: I have a bad feeling about this. Hot Shot, what is it?
Hot Shot: It doesn’t look good, sir. They’re in trouble.
Alexis: Where am I?
Carlos: Check this out. We’re in, like, a pyramid or something.
Rad: You okay, Alexis?
Alexis: Yeah. Yeah, I guess so.
Rad: What is that?
Cyclonus: Hahaha! Yaaahooo!
Optimus: Megatron. What an unpleasant surprise. The Mini-Con will have to wait.
Hot Shot (VO): Yeah, but taking care of these Decepticons shouldn’t take too long.
[Commercial]
Rad (VO): The Autobots’ quest for searching out the Mini-Con led us to the Sahara Desert. That’s where they had picked up a signal. Not a very strong one, but at least they knew it was out there somewhere. But it’s weird how vast a desert is until you get there. And boy, the Sahara is one big sandbox. And where that Mini-Con was hiding… Well, let’s just say your guess is as good as mine. Meanwhile, back to our problem. A sand whirlpool had pulled us down into some kind of old Egyptian palace, or something. Our first course of action was to try to find a way out of this maze. That is, if there was a way out.
Carlos: Man, this place gives me the willies.
Rad: Yeah, no kidding. It’s freaky.
Carlos: You think any mole-like dudes live down here?
Rad: Boy, Carlos. With your imagination, you should write comic books. You are one strange guy.
Alexis: Make that two strange guys. And I hope you realise who’s leading the way.
Carlos: Your point is?
Alexis: My point is you men are to scared to, that’s all.
Carlos: Hey, who you calling chicken, girl? I’m not afraid of nothing. You hear, nothing at all.
Rad: Hey, Alexis, how come you’re stopping?
Alexis: Up there.
Rad: Too weird.
Alexis: Yeah, that’s the symbol of the Mini-Cons.
Carlos: But the question is, what’s it doing way down here?
Alexis: Maybe some ancient civilization found the Mini-Con panel. And maybe they found it held strange mystical powers or something and built a palace to honour it.
Carlos: Now she’s an archeologist. Nice! What’s next, Alexis? Is Harrison Ford gonna come swinging out of the wall on a vine?
Rad: Hey, knock it off, Carlos. Okay?
Alexis: Uh, guys, keep your eyes peeled for Decepticons, okay?
Carlos: Wha?
Alexis: Remember, they’re looking for the Mini-Con, too.
Rad: Hey, we’ll beat ’em.
Cyclonus: Yaaaahhhoooooo!
Megatron: Optimus, what have you done with Demolishor?
Optimus: No clue, Megatron!
Megatron: Ha, ha, ha. Any last words before I send you to the scrap heap, Optimus? Hahaha!
Carlos: Man, that was freaky. Now I’m starting to see things. I just thought I saw this eye appear on the wall. Huh? Uh, please tell me I’m seeing things.
Kids: Aaahh!
Demolishor: Huh? What was that? If there’s anybody here, you better speak up now!
Rad: Hey! You guys… It looks like we’ve got company! This… is it! It was nice knowing you guys!
Demolishor: What the?
Carlos: Whoa, that dude is really —
Rad: C’mon, bud, let’s get outta here.
Carlos: Hope you’re not afraid of spiders!
Demolishor: Hey, you kids come back here!
Megatron: Where is Demolishor?!
Rad (VO): While Optimus Prime was taking care of the always obnoxious Megatron, Alexis, Carlos and me stumbled into this incredibly beautiful chamber. It was lined with these awesome statues and the place was covered in jewels. And then, we saw it. The Mini-Con… Up on a throne. Man, it was something to see. I don’t know how long we stood there staring at it. But I tell ya, if a picture’s worth a thousand words, boy, this picture was worth a zillion.
Carlos: Sweet… It’s incredible.
Alexis: No. Not again.
Demolishor: Where can that Mini-Con be?
Rad: Carlos! Look out!
Demolisor: Yes. I’ve found you. My own Mini-Con.
Carlos: Hey, back off!
Rad: Don’t. Hey, come back!
Carlos: Oh man!
Rad: Carlos!
Demolishor: Ha, haaa! Heh, heh… Heh, yes. Come to papa. Gotcha! Hahahaha! Transform!
Starscream: Sir… Move back.
Megatron: Look over there, men. It’s Demolishor.
Demolishor: Mega — uh, Megatron, sir. I got the Mini-Con. See? And I found it by myself. All by myself.
Megatron: Stop blubbering. Just hook it up, Demolishor, and use it at once.
Hot Shot: Hey, you. What did you do with the humans?
Demolishor: I ate them. And they were quite tasty, too. Mini-Con, come to life!
Optimus: Hot Shot, stand down!
Demolishor: Transform, now!
Megatron: Hey, watch where you’re aiming!
Demolishor: Uh, sorry about that, sir. I guess I got caught up in all the excitement.
Megatron: We got what we came for. It’s time to head home.
Demolishor: Yes, sir!
Cyclonus: Sayonara!
Red Alert: We forgot the kids!
Rad (VO): I know we looked in pretty bad shape back there, but things could’ve been a lot worse if it hadn’t been for Hot Shot coming to the rescue. And you know, it amazes me how, even in the heat of battle, even if they don’t always get the Mini-Con, they always have time to make sure we’re all right.
Megatron: Demolishor, give it to me right now.
Demolishor: Uh, uh.
Megatron: Quit being a spoiled ‘bot and hand over that Mini-Con.
Demolishor: But I thought he was mine.
Megatron: Well, he’s not. You disobeyed a direct order when I told you to stand guard and you left your post to search out that Mini-Con. So hand it over! Now!
Demolishor: But that isn’t fair, sir!
Megatron: Not fair? Why I’ll show you what’s not fair.
Demolishor: Well, actually, sir, you really don’t have to.
Megatron: No, no, really, I insist. I said I was going to show you what’s not fair and so I shall show you what’s not fair!
Starscream: Heh!
Megatron: Why don’t you come a little closer, Demolishor, so I can give you a hands on demonstration. Yesss…
Demolishor: Actually, sir, I really don’t need it. I mean…
Megatron: Hahahahahaha!
[End]