Transformers: Armada
“Crack” – Episode 37
Written by Terry Klassen and Ward Perry
Transcription by Brandon Williams

–
Thrust: Interesting. The Star Saber sword, the Skyboom shield and the Requiem Blaster each have their own unique powers. Yet, when they combine, they become the ultimate weapon of mass destruction! But why are you telling me this, Sideways?

Sideways: Because you seem to be the only Decepticon whose level-headed enough to destroy the Autobots.

Thrust: Hahahaha… Hahahahaha!

Sideways: Hahahaha… Hahahahaha!

Thrust: Hahahaha!

[Transition]

Jetfire: C’mon, men! Let’s look alive! We got a war to win!

Hot Shot: Aw, c’mon, Jetfire, we’re working like dogs here.

Jetfire: Just keep workin’. Huh? Hey Starscream, what are you doing just standing around?

Starscream: Me? Help? Ha. This is all a waste of time, Jetfire. I suggest we launch an all-out attack against the Decepticons instead of this — mindless excerise.

Jetfire: Hey, we’re not the aggressors here. Our jobs is to protect the Mini-Cons first.

Starscream: Yeah, whatever!

Jetfire: Er! You’re a fool!

Starscream: No, you’re the fool! At this rate, you’ll never defeat Megatron. And that’s what I’m here for. I joined the Autobots to bring Megatron down. The Mini-Cons mean nothing to me.

Jetfire: You haven’t changed.

Hot Shot: Hey, take it easy and just relax, Jetfire. And that goes for you too, Starscream. Ya understand?

Starscream: Hmmph!

Blurr: Where you going?

Hot Shot: Yeah, get back here!

Blurr: Typical Decepticon.

Sideswipe: I know.

Red Alert: Hey.

Blurr & Sideswipe: Hmmm?

Red Alert: Enough chit-chat, ladies, we’ve got a job to do.

Jetfire: Ehh, sorry, Red Alert. But what about Starscream?

Blurr: You mean Star-traitor don’t you?

Red Alert: Get back to your stations, men.

Optimus: Hot Shot!

Hot Shot: Huh?

Optimus: Progress report. How’s everything going down here?

Hot Shot: Optimus.

Optimus: Is there… anything a matter, Hot Shot?

Hot Shot: Well, there is something. It’s just that the men and I don’t think we can work with Starscream. And it’s not like we haven’t tried.

Optimus: Hmmmm…

Hot Shot: I guess the Decepticons are programmed a lot different than us.

Optimus: With that in mind, Hot Shot, don’t you think that just might be the reason we’re still battling ’em?

Hot Shot: Yeah, I guess so…

Optimus: I think the first step we should take with Starscream is to try to understand our differences. And then we should attempt to come to some mutual agreement on how best to work together.

Hot Shot: Erghhh…. Hmm?

Optimus: Well…? Good. Now let’s get back to work.

Megatron: Oh, Thrust, exactly how do you propose we capture the Star Saber — and the Skyboom shield?

Thrust: I have developed just the plan for that task, Megatron. Leave everything to me, sire. Hahaha…

Megatron: Hmmm…

Starscream: Huh?

Kids: Surprise! Hahahahaha!

Starscream: What’s going on?

Kids: Thanks a lot for the present, Starscream!

Starscream: I — don’t think I follow.

Rad: Thanks for the rock you brought back from Mars.

Carlos: Yeah, we never really had a chance to say thanks, big guy.

Billy: And Alexis figured we should throw you, you know, a little appreciation party.

Fred: And we even got a cake.

Alexis: We made this for you.

Starscream: So… what is it?

Alexis: A hand-made polishing shammy. Use it to polish anything. Even Runway, for example.

Starscream: Huh? Yeah. Right.

Carlos: Even us guys helped sew it together.

Rad: Yeah, and we even have the needle pricks to prove it.

Fred: So, when ya gonna cut the cake?

Alexis: Oh, don’t you like it?

Starscream: Uh, no, no… I wouldn’t say that. I mean, it’s very — colourful. It’s just that I haven’t had anyone give me a present before.

Carlos: You can’t be serious. What about on your birthday? You never got nothin’?

Starscream: Uhhh… So what does one — do in a situation like this?

Alexis: Uh, heh, why don’t you just try saying thank you?

Starscream: Thank you. Thank you. Right?

Alexis: Yeaaah, heh, heh!

Starscream: Ohh…

Carlos: So give us the scoop on what it was like up on Mars, dude.

Rad: Yeah, we wanna hear all about it.

Fred: Does anything grow up there that you can eat without croaking on the spot?

Billy: Hey, are there any aliens living on the Red Planet?

Starscream: Well, kids…

Jetfire: Hey, Starscream, how ’bout sharing some of the work around here by going surveillance duty up in the control room.

Starscream: I’ll never get used to the Autobots’ work ethic.

Carlos: Well, I guess you better get going.

Starscream: Don’t worry. If I don’t do it, someone will take care of it. No big deal.

Alexis: You cannot be serious, Starscream.

Starscream: Huh?

Alexis: I mean, sluffing off like that. It’s not the way Autobots work. Don’t you get it? They’re a team, and without teamwork, nothing would get done at all around here.

Carlos: Hey… Where do you think you’re going?

Starscream: To get a little peace and quiet.

Alexis: Hmmm…

Billy: Aw, man, what’s his problem?

Rad: Whoa-ho, he sure is self-centered.

Alexis: Uh huh…

Starscream: All this teamwork talk is starting to make me go soft. Huh? What is that? Transform! Someone’s watching.

Thrust: Surprise!

Starscream: Thrust!

Thrust: Thanks for coming, Starscream. I was so worried you wouldn’t remember our little signal I sent you on the Autobots’ monitor. So, what’s it like being a traitor?

Starscream: Why you! You snivelling coward, show yourself and fight!

Thrust: Please forgive my rudeness. I don’t know what came over me. I must confess, I too have become rather disheartened by Megatron.

Starscream: I’ve had enough of your games!

Thrust: I agree with you that Megatron has failed to prove himself as a leader. So join with me and together we can bring Megatron down!

Starscream: No deal, Thrust!

Thrust: You are a fool if you think you can destroy him the help of those pathetic Auto-boobs!

Fred: Hey, Billy, I got a question. Ya think Starscream liked that shammy we gave to him?

Billy: Of course, dummy. Everyone always likes their first present. Don’t you know anything?

Fred: I guess you’re right. Huh?

Billy: What’s up, bud?

Fred: Look! It’s Starscream!

Billy: Gee, I wonder what he’s doing way out here.

Fred: Me too.

Billy: Hmmm.

Thrust: Well then, here’s a simple question. Have you considered returning to your comrades?

Starscream: What? Back to the lunar base?

Thrust: Yes, and may I suggest your chances of overthrowing Megatron are greater from within…

Starscream: No way. Only a fool with a death wish would return to stand before Megatron. And trust me, Thrust, I for one am not a fool.

Thrust: Here’s a simple solution. Bring Megatron some worthless Autobot trophy and I assure you all will be forgiven.

Starscream: Trophy, you say?

Thrust: Yes, something like — I don’t know, the Skyboom shield, perhaps? It’s just a thought.

Starscream: No!

Thrust: There’s no hurry, Starscream. Take your time. And when you’ve decided, you can tell me your decision back at the lunar base.

Starscream: Erggh, why the nerve! Transform!

Billy: Aw man, what was that all about, Fred?

Fred: I don’t have a clue!

Billy: Well, we gotta tell all the others about this.

Fred: Let’s go.

Billy: Yeah.

Thrust: Excellent… The seed has been planted.

Sideways: Yes… Your dramatic skills truly impress me, Thrust. But do you really believe you convinced him that by joining forces with you, it’s his best option to destroy Megatron?

Thrust: I do, Sideways. But now imagine how shocked he would be if he only knew that you and I had formed an alliance.

Sideways: So would Megatron… Hahaha…

[Commercial]

Blurr: Hey. Starscream…

Starscream: Hmmm?

Blurr: What’s wrong?

Starscream: Uh, nothing’s wrong. I, uh, better go, I’ve got work to do.

Blurr: Hmmm? Don’t ask me why, you guys, but I got a feeling something smells fishy here.

Starscream: Why now? Why — am I doubting myself? Concentrate. And the strange feeling I get from the humans.

Kids (in flashback): Hahahahahaha!

Carlos: Oh, man, this totally bites. I wish we could help the Autobots build the spaceship or do something, ’cause I’m bored outta my mind.

Rad: Hang in there, bud. It won’t be much longer.

Carlos: What won’t?

Rad: When they finish building the spaceship.

Alexis: So do you think they’ll return to Cybertron, Rad?

Rad: Good question. And I wonder if they’ll take us along.

Carlos: Yeah, I wonder.

Alexis: I don’t know. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see if they do.

Carlos: Man, that’d be a drag. They’ve become like our closest friends.

Alexis: You’re right, Carlos.

Carlos: But that’s never gonna happen! Right? Huh? I’d miss you too. But let’s not get all bummed out about it, okay guys? Yeah-ah. Hey, I got it! Forget tomorrow and be happy about today, guys.

Jetfire: Well, I think that just about does it.

Hot Shot: I’m all done over here, Jetfire.

Fred: Guys! We just saw a coneheaded Decepticon!

Blurr: You mean Thrust?

Billy: He was just outside our base.

Hot Shot: What are we waiting for? C’mon, let’s go get ‘im!

Sideswipe: Yeah, baby!

Fred: Hang on a sec, Hot Shot. Starscream chased the creep away already. Starscream is my hero.

Hot Shot: You are one twisted kid.

Billy: What’s so wrong with a kid having a hero, huh?

Jetfire: Yeaha, like Starscream’s a hero. Uhh… Starscream! We were just — talking about you!

Starscream: I hope it was all good.

Blurr: Don’t play dumb with us, buddy. Fred just told us you drove off Thrust. Way to cover our backs, Starscream.

Starscream: Oh, that. Yeah, right.

Sideswipe: I wish I’d been there to see you in action, my friend.

Hoist: There you are. Where’d you take off to?

Hot Shot: What’s up with you, Smokescreen?

Hoist: That’s what I came to find out. I can’t find the Skyboom Mini-Cons anywhere.

Starscream (VO): The Mini-Cons are here?

Fred: Hey, uh, that reminds me, Starscream. Didn’t that coneheaded guy ask you to bring the Skyboom shield with you to their moonbase?

Billy: Yeah, what’s up with that, anyway?

Jetfire: Don’t tell me you’re about to double-cross us!

Hoist: Did you hand over those three Mini-Cons to them, Starscream?

Starscream: Uhh… No… D-d-don’t be ridiculous.

Blurr: But you do admit you saw him outside our base, right?

Hoist: I just knew this would happen.

Hot Shot: Hold your horses, men!

Hoist: Huh?

Hot Shot: C’mon. Let’s not jump to any conclusions here. Starscream is on our side, don’t you remember? And don’t forget, he’s innocent unless he’s proven guilty! Okay, Starscream, help me out and explain what’s up here. Because if ya don’t, let’s put it this way, you are so out the creek. And right now, you look pretty guilty.

Starscream: Guilty, huh? I don’t think it matters what I say because you’ve already convicted me. But thanks for trying, Hot Shot.

Hot Shot: Er, that is not true!

Starscream: Please, let’s face facts. I am much different than you. I was programmed as a Decepticon and I don’t apologize for that. I’ve tried my best to understand the way you and the others think. But I must admit, it was a failed experiment.

Hot Shot: No one said you did it. We just wanna know the truth.

Starscream: But you can’t handle the truth!

Optimus: What’s all this ruckus?

Hot Shot: Optimus-sir…

Hoist: The three Skyboom shield Mini-Cons are missing, sir.

Sideswipe: The kids told us they saw Thrust outside our base and he was insisting Starscream deliver the Skyboom shield to their lunar base. That’s the story so far, sir. Starscream isn’t saying anything.

Optimus: Hmmm… Starscream, explain yourself. What–?

Tidal Wave: Heh, heh, heh. Attack now!

Cyclonus: Hahahahahaha! Woohoo! Hahaha! Ready or not, here we come! Ha, ha, ha, hahahaha! Hahaha, woohoo! Locked on and — firing! Oooh, looks like we’ve got company, boys!

Jetfire: I hope you brought a parachute, Deceptifool, because you’re going down.

Cyclonus: Aaah! I’m hit, I’m hit!

Demolishor: You’ll pay for that, Autobot! Get on him, Tidal Wave!

Tidal Wave: Your wish is my command.

Hot Shot: Jetfire!

Billy: Look! Jetfire’s taking a pounding.

Fred: Hey, wait a minute! How come Starscream’s not out there helping?

Billy: How can you tell who’s out there, Fred? They’re kicking up too much dust.

Starscream: Transform! Thrust, show yourself!

Thrust: Have you made your decision?

Starscream: I have, Thrust. I think I’ll stay put here with bots I can trust.

Thrust: You disappoint me. And you’ll live to regret your decision.

Starscream: What?

Thrust: Starscream, I fully understand your desire for revenge against Megatron.

Starscream: You don’t understand anything about me, Thrust. I’ll get my revenge because I have the tools to get the job done. So out of my way, or I’ll slice you in half, you pathetic snake!

Thrust: Oh, you talk a tough game. Name your price, Starscream. Join forces with me and together we can take down Megatron! I, too, am a warrior on a mission. I aspire to lead the Decepticons to victory, yet one obstacle remains in my way — a thorn, if you will — and I intend to pluck it! Hahahaha! Why are you resisting my offer? You know there is strength in numbers, Starscream. So, shall we unite and bring down Megatron together? Hmmm? I need you, Starscream.

Optimus: Jetfire, let’s Powerlink.

Jetfire: Ready when you are, Optimus-sir. Powerlink!

Optimus: Ready to Powerlink.

Optimus & Jetfire: Transform!

Optimus: There’s no time to waste. Let’s get busy.

Tidal Wave: Incoming bogey. Sighted and locked on.

Optimus: It’s time to sink you for good, Tidal Wave!

Tidal Wave: Transform!

Hot Shot: All right! That’s a bullseye! Literally. Time to — transform!

Tidal Wave: You are mine, Autobot!

Hot Shot: Oh man, this is getting a little too close for comfort. Transform! Okay, you overgrown lughead, just keep going. Boy, that creep’s dumber than a bar of soap. Hey, who’s out there?

Carlos: Hey, it’s us, Hot Shot!

Hot Shot: Hey, what in the world are you kids doing out here, huh? What? Dirt Boss! Mirage! Downshift! We’ve been looking all over for you guys. We thought you might’ve been captured by the Decepticons.

Alexis: We were just trying to help out so we decided to take them for a walk.

Hot Shot: Huh?!

Rad: Sorry, Hot Shot. I guess we should’ve told someone what we were doing with them.

Hot Shot: Oh no, I almost forgot. We accused Starscream of stealing them.

Kids: Huh?

Hot Shot: Okay, you guys. Listen up good. I need you to Powerlink with the shield.

Hoist: Erggh! You’re gonna pay for this, Starscream! How dare you steal our Skyboom shield! Huh? Whoa, the Skyboom shield!

Hot Shot: Starscream is innocent. He never stole the Mini-Cons, Smokescreen. They were with the kids.

Hoist: Great. I guess we all owe Starscream a giant Autobot apology.

Thrust: Heh, heh, heh, heh… It seems your friends have found what they were looking for.

Starscream: I’ve had enough of you!

Thrust: Why are you angry at me? I only wanted to form an alliance with you.

Starscream: What’s that?

Thrust: We both want Megatron destroyed. But why do you insist on working against me?

Starscream: That’s enough! Stop yammering! Why can’t I — destroy him?!

[Flashback]

Kids: Surprise!

Fred: And we even got a cake.

[End Flashback]

Thrust: The decision is yours. You can either become soft and forget your glorious heritage or you can join me. And if you decide the latter, it is only a matter of time before we drink from the cup of victory! You must choose, but I suggest you choose wisely. Your childish blathering annoys me, Starscream. You are a Decepticon, now act like one!

Starscream: Huh?

Tidal Wave: Destroy all Autobots.

Hoist: Hang in there, Optimus. The Skyboom shield’s on its way.

Thrust: Well?

Hoist: Heads up, Optimus!

Thrust: Well?! Why you… Hehehahahaha… I don’t believe it. It worked. It actually worked. Starscream bought it! Ohhhooh, and don’t think I’ll forget about your moment of insubordination, Starscream!

Optimus: Good work, Smokescreen! What?

Hoist & Hot Shot: Optimus-sir!

Alexis, Carlos & Rad: Huh?

Billy & Fred: Huh?

Optimus: Starscream!

Starscream (VO): I don’t know if this is the right choice. I have made my decision.

Thrust: Well? What is it?

Starscream (VO): I must do everything there is in my power to bring Megatron down. And I swear I will crush him personally… (Out loud) Goodbye, kids. And thanks. I’ll never forget you.

Hot Shot: I can’t believe this. Starscream… Why, Starscream? Why?!

[End]